MAP Episode 32: Ethan’s RacistCast


Download Link: Produced 2009.02.20

Lusipurr, Ethan, and Ginia show a decidedly anti-minority bent in this outrageously racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted podcast. Their ignorance doesn’t stop them rolling the Katamari, though! Na-nanana-nananana-na-nana-nanana!


  1. The description and that picture alone make me wish I could stay up to listen to this right away, but work in the morning says otherwise. Oh well, looks like I’ll have something entertaining for the train tomorrow :F.

  2. -Aeris not Aereth. Aeris>>>>>>>>Aereth, and Tidus not Teedus.

    -Lol if you live over there you’re either Japanese or a comfort woman.

    -The second installment of the Legend of Heroes VI series is a two UMD game.

    -The problem with the Australian ratings system is that every state and territory has to agree to any changes made to the system for them to come into effect. The entire system is quite literally being held over a barrel by the South Australian Attourney General. An 18+ rating generally has the support of most politicians, and there’s no problem with our R and X rated films.

    -Loved Bioshock, I’m deeply sceptical about Bioshock 2.

    -Shipping them off to an island is the perfect solution(one might even call it final), out of sight, out of mind. It worked for Australia, it can work for you.

    -ToV is a fantastic game! I’d sooner have ToV than Katamari.

    -Art imitating life = illegal immigrants invading our servers!

    -They don’t look good. Agree 100%.

    -Wow Legend of Dragoon was so bad, the worst of all of Sony’s translations and that’s saying something.

  3. OK, wall of text time again. Let me know if I should split this up next time.

    – I use Aeris and Aerith pretty much interchangable depending on my mood. What’s this about an Aerith Dies porn site, though? I’m morbidly curious.

    – There’s very lightly implied sex in Persona 3 and 4, but I don’t think the original Persona had that whole “dating sim” portion fo the game at all, so I’m not sure if there’s even as much in Persona PSP.

    – Has Sony announced anything about getting a digital copy of your UMD games to play on the PSP Go? You’d think they’d want to say something about that before the system launches next week.

    – I’d love to see an Anne of Green Gables Japanese translation, since it would probably involve some combination of martial arts, mecha, and sushi.

    – @Ethos: I’m the same way in some RPGs (FF games in particular) where I like to take my time uber-powering my characters, particularly after the first playthrough. That’s one of the reasons I’m waiting for everybody to catch up to my save as opposed to starting fresh. I usually like to get all the level 1-3 limit breaks for the first 4 characters before leaving Midgar, and while that doesn’t take horribly long, I probably wouldn’t be able to do that and get to Cosa del Sol in a week :F.

    – Yahoo Answers is a giant, seething ball of stupid. And it’s endlessly entertaining. Has everybody seen this: ?

    – I remember the FFVII strategy guide. As filled with typos and misinformation as it is, it’s still an awesome resource. And besides, gameFAQs is cool, but it’s pretty limited being just text. I think there’s a giant hole in the game strategy guide market for some sort of strategy wiki with cross-linked pages and pictures and the like.

    – I loved Ethos’ comment of “I don’t know what that means” (or something like that) during the WoW talk, since it sums up my feelings on it so perfectly. It’s not that I don’t care about WoW, it’s just that when people talk about WoW, they might as well be speaking a different dialect. I imagine it would be the same as listening in on a in-depth Final Fantasy conversation if you’ve never played an RPG. I’m just not familiar enough with the terms or the scale of the game to know whether I’m hearing about some extraordinary feat or something you get by level 5. The 800 gold was a great example, since to me that sounds like a tiny amount, but apparently it’s pretty substantial. This isn’t a “OMG why U talking about MMOOs you idots, everybody h4tes them!!1!!” type post, just thought his comments was funny.

    – Agreed with Ethos/SN on the plastic surgery front. I think it’s just part of society’s inexplicable effort to look like muppets. Don’t understand it in the slightest.

    Hillarious cast dispite a distinct lack of NATE LILES. And I don’t think it can count as racist if you just hate everybody, so you should just go with that strategy.

  4. @Darth: Some of those Yahoo Answers are TRULY lawl-worthy. I read the one about “How to make my monitor a mirror?” and both Ashley and I laughed for about five solid minutes. I had tears in my eyes. Terrific stuff!

    The best thing about the FF7 Strat. guide is that it has maps with item locations in-line with the text. This is how a guide should be set up (as opposed to the guide for, say, Chrono Cross, which has all the maps at the back in some sort of arbitrary random order.)

    With regard to your comment on MMOs: we don’t mention things about them that are insubstantial. In general, if someone mentions something, then it is something that requires effort to do. Whilst you might not know this, it is no different than if they had accomplished some similar feat in a non-MMO game you had never played before. Like if someone said, “I finished Hot & Cold.” without you knowing what it is in FF9.

    When people talk about things you don’t know about on the podcast, you’ll just have to trust us in that we wouldn’t be talking about it if it wasn’t worthy of being mentioned. I hate discussions of minutae.

  5. Yeah, I do love that Yahoo! Answers compilation. I think it’s the best thing to come out of Yahoo in quite some time now. Some of them are obviously people trolling, but the sad part is I could see some of them being asked in real life. What’s wrong with people!

    Didn’t FFVIII’s guide so the same thing with the maps in the back? Madness, I say! Seriously, I’d love some sort of searchable, hyperlinkable game guide.

    And yeah, I assume pretty much anything mentioned in the “now playing” part of the podcast is pretty substantial. The problem more lies when I’m talking with friends who play WoW. I suppose not much I can do there except get better friends :F.

  6. -I’m glad that I didn’t get my Brady Games FFVII guide until I had already beaten the game, as it’s full of spoilers including pictures of Aeris dying (nice one retards).

    -This really was one of your best podcasts in quite some time even despite the absence of NATE LILES, you must endevour to be racist more often! Perhaps we can start a pogrom?

  7. @Darth: Lusipurr says “Your friends are insufficient. KILL THEM.”

    @SN: Gotta love the era of spoiler-filled strat guides! Things these days are much more spoiler-friendly, but personally I preferred it the old way. Alas!

    Also, I agree about the podcast. When we finished recording this week, I felt this was one of our better podcasts in a while*. I’m glad to see I am not the only one who thinks so.

    *It has been hard for me to be very jovial or entertaining whilst I’ve had some rather weighty concerns on my mind. Things are looking up now, though.

  8. RE: Spoiler Strategy Guides – I actually couldn’t find a copy of the FFVII guide before I’d already finished my first run, but that started my tradition of not allowing myself to open the guide until I’d finished the game once for just that very reason. Makes things a lot less spoilery :F.

    RE: Happy Times – Here Here!

  9. In the paper & pencil RPG world, the WWF Adventure Game was released in 1993 and promptly forgotten. Dice heavy and slow, it also suffers from a major case of underlining, making it difficult to read. There are wrestling RPGs out there, but none of them are licensed.

  10. -Does the guide have a chart detailing the characters base stats? I took a cusory glance through it and can’t find one …

  11. I suffer a world of hurt whenever I think of the Everquest RPG, which literally translated that game to the paper & pencil space. Of course, 4th edition Dungeons & Dragons is just as bad these days, so where’s the bleach so I can apply it to my eyes?

  12. I once had a FFVII strategy guide, however I believe someone must have thrown it out considering it was now considered bathroom reading material and some of the front and back pages where missing from it. Thankfully there’s a site called GameFAQs where I can obtian the knowledge I need to find all the Enemy Skills or to find those rare items. At the moment I am currently in Junon, about to perform our march in front of President Rufus before he boards the ship to Costa del Sol.

  13. @Lusipurr: I wouldn’t touch 3.5 with a ten foot pole. The mechanics are too intrusive to actually allow me to play, and 4th is even worse in that regard. A good RPG should have mechanics that don’t destroy the illusion of being in the world being played in, and by that standard 3.5 and 4 don’t qualify.

    The only saving grace of d20 system was the SRD, since it allowed people to actually create rules-light games where the people, not the mechanics, rule. Games like Castles & Crusades for example. I’m a bit biased on that one, since my name is in it, but it has the advantage of being compatible with nearly all d20 stuff, and all earlier Dungeons & Dragons material as well. It also has the advantage of having transparent mechanics that do not wreck the illusion that is a hallmark of a good game.

    While I am very bullish on Castles & Crusades, given that I’ve spent the last five years supporting it, my game of choice is the original Dungeons & Dragons, c. 1974. I understand that not everyone wants to play a game where the mechanics are thirty-five years old, but at the same time not everyone wants to have a game dictate the character’s actions to them. This is something that 4th Edition is guilty of. d20 is guilty of this as well, but to a lesser extent.

  14. 4E is reductionism to the point of a board game. A wizard is a character who has a magical missile attack every turn, and low AC. A fighter has a melee attack and high AC. And so on.

    I like 3.5 because it has rules for everything. If a PC wants to do something–however odd–there’s a rule for it.

    Personally, I have not found the rules very intrusive. If you find them so, you can choose to apply the rules ‘lightly’. There’s nothing in the DMG that says the rules have to take precedence (quite the opposite). But they are there for those who want to use them.

    Complaining about 3.5 having too many rules is a bit like complaining that you have too many forks. They are there so that you can use them if you want to. No one is making you use them all at once.

  15. We agree about 4th Edition.

    Having rules for everything reduces the role of the Dungeon Master to little better than an entertainer. That comes straight from Gary Gygax himself, and well…he knew a thing or two about role playing. :)

    The problem is that by having a rule for everything it limits creativity, both on the part of the DM and the players. The DM is actively discouraged against making decisions on the fly, being conditioned to rely on the rules. The player is conditioned to think that because it’s not in the rules it cannot be done. An exceptional DM CAN apply the rules lightly and can choose what rules to use, however unless the DM thinks through the ramifications of the changes he makes, he will in fact affect every other rule that relies on that particular rule. As a simple example, look at the combat system. In order for the combat system to work as written, the concept of a clearly defined front and back for creatures had to be eliminated. Creatures therefore have an unerring capacity to strike a target in any direction, regardless of whether they can actually SEE it or not. Now, you can add in rules for facing, but in doing so you have to modify the rules for the entire combat system to take facing into account. And from there it snowballs into affecting much more than the combat system.

    I could go on all day with this debate, but it’s beginning to remind me way too much of the edition wars I was a part of on the Internet when d20 was initially released, and I refuse to go down that dark path again. So, I’m going to end this with a simple truth regarding rules: it’s always easier to add a rule than to take one out. Players by their very nature are seeking every possible advantage for their characters, and if a rule is in the book they will feel entitled to use that rule, regardless of whether the DM allows it or not. It’s impossible for them to feel entitled when the rule isn’t in the book in the first place.

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