Editorial: Games I Wish Existed

Have you ever sat around at home, school, work, or while tending to your flock of eagles and thought, “Wow, I really wish there was an eagle farming game!” or something like that?  So have I!  So, here are a few of my ideas in no particular order!

1. A beer pong game.  Now, I know there are some cheap beerpong games for free online or on the iPhone, but I want one really well-done game for one of the next-gen systems.  It would be awesome to have a game with a single-player portion where the player rises through the ranks of a professional beer pong league, customizes the character, and upgradable stats.  The multi-player portion could be either a few people on the same system or online, with online leader boards and brackets.

2. A game in the vein of the old-school, pulp detective novels.  I can think of a few games that come close to this, such as Hotel Dusk or Indigo Prophecy, but none that are exactly like these old, fun novels.  I want to play as a badass character who solves a major crime, all while knowing all the right people, getting the girl, and boozing.  Fedoras and calling females “dames” are musts.

3. A good MMO.  Haha, just kidding, Shawn!  There will never be one!

So, my dear readers, what are some of YOUR game ideas?  I promise not to steal them… completely.


  1. a game where I can play as a Black Panther and kill klan members.

    “you goddamn nigg- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
    Trophy – Diiliverance – shoved 10000 burning crosses up KKK members asses

    if only…

  2. This article is not turning out how I envisioned it would at all. I’m NATE LILES! You can’t treat me like this!

  3. -I want a Nate Liles game, it would be like Leisure Suit Larry only more women … and farting.

    @Nate- Would an MMO still be an MMO if it was good?

  4. “I’m NATE LILES! You can’t treat me like this!”

    I literally LOLed at that for like five minutes solid.

  5. Nate Liles getting cocky about his stardom?! This might be your undoing!

    …What am I talking about? NOTHING can undo Nate Liles!

  6. I was thinking the other day, I’d love to see a 2 player vs. tower defense game. It would be pretty much like a standard tower defense game, but each player would also be in charge of what waves of enemies to send at the other player to get through their towers. It’s the kind of thing that would work well on the DS, I think.

    Call my an ignorant boob if you must, but I still don’t really know how beer pong differs from regular ping pong. Could you take Rock Star’s Table Tennis game and pretend it’s about beer pong by taking a shot after every point?

    And I think it’s disrespectful that everybody is misspelling NATE LILES. Although Ethos is right, nothing can stop him. He’s like a katamari, rolling up anything foolish enough to get in his way.

  7. @Darth: I would pay real money to see Nate Liles rolling around on the ground like a Katamari, in an effort to roll up the world. Or even a yard full of toys.

    Sharp toys. With pointy bits.

  8. I’m affraid that NATE LILES only rolls up beautiful women!

  9. @Lusipurr: I think we can arange that. You drug him, I’ll go get a video camera. Then we’ll speed it up to 3X speed, play some Benny Hill music over the top, and put it youtube. We’ll be rich!

  10. Technically, Nathaniel, there’s Pong Toss – available now on WiiWare. It was originally going to be called Frat Party Games: Beer Pong, but some parents-rights group in Virginia caused a big stink about it because it encouraged minors to drink, so they changed the name to Pong Toss and removed references to alcohol. It’s not a very good game at all, but Beer Pong is like the MMO of sport games, so whatever.

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