MAP Episode 48: Fastest Podcast Ever

Tick Tock, Lusipurr.

Download Link: Produced 2010.01.17

When Lusipurr fails to record properly, the entire podcast must be redone–but Nate Liles has only twenty minutes until his date at the local public house. With only minutes left and everything to play for, the only option is FASTEST PODCAST EVER.

* * * * * * *

This morning, we formally offered Conan O’Brien (of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien) the position of Megaphones Ahoy! Podcast Guest Host. The full text of our e-mail follows.

Dear Mr. O’Brien (or his designated representative),

The staff of has been following your travails with growing alarm as it has become more certain with each passing weeknight that you will be leaving the Tonight Show after a too-short stint of just seven months. All of us, to a man, have been fans since your Late Night days. Your entertaining programme helped us through bachelors degrees and graduate school. Now it seems you will be leaving the air—a truly disturbing prospect.

Having heard that NBC is going to provide you an ample sum for their treachery, we have rejoiced—but speculation has been rife. What will you do next? Your show this evening put that decision in the hands of the people. But even then, if you stop recording new shows this Friday, what will you do in the interim? Luckily, my staff has just the answer for you: Guest Host of video game industry podcasts on

I know that this idea is too astonishing to even contemplate. Likely, you never thought you would have the chance to take part in a Video Game news podcast on the internet. It is in our power to grant that to you now. Won’t you consider becoming a member of the team? Currently, these positions are not paid—but with millions of NBC dollars in the bank, that’s hardly an issue for you. Instead, you’ll earn the gratitude of literally tens of people who will eagerly rejoice in every salient comment you make.

The job requirements for a podcast Guest Host are very simple. Podcasts are recorded on Sunday evenings at approximately 7pm Eastern time. You will need Skype, a microphone/headphone combination (or a headset), and a quiet room. Please be thirty minutes early if possible. The panel then chooses the news from the week, prepares the show notes, and records the podcast. Podcasts go live on every Monday at midnight Eastern time.

Whilst we cannot offer you a permanent position at this time—feeling certain that your skills will soon obtain you gainful employment at some more lofty venue—we hope that this offer of a Guest Host position will allow you to withdraw from the “Host of the Tonight Show” phase slowly, in gentle stages, so as to affect your sensibilities the less.

We hope you accept our offer and we look forward to your favourable reply.


Site Coordinator,

Notification was also sent out via Twitter this morning on the site Official Twitter Feed. Send your e-mails to Conan and let him know how much you’d love for him to be a Guest Host here at!


  1. I don’t like how the podcasts are getting shorter, I understand whyfo this one, but the past two were WAY to short!

  2. The podcasts are getting shorter because we have decided to go green. As we all know, there are only a certain amount of megabytes left in the world, and is the first website to voluntarily cut down its usage. Because we only have one planet.

  3. How noble! More websites should follow suit – unlike CatFancy and their 2 hour long podcasts… :P
    And the music was a nice touch, Lusipurr.

  4. @Blitzmage: It’s usually a matter of time constraints + lack of news + lazy lazy laziness.

    But seriously, the golden rule is 45m-1h15m, and we’ve been erring nearer the 45m mark in the last few. There are many, many more where we’ve gone over 1h than the few in which we’ve gone under, so I think on balance we’re still okay.

    This one, of course, was going to be around the 1H mark when I realised, about 55 minutes in, that I was only recording myself and not Ginia or Nate. So then we had to rush so that Nate could make it to the pub.

    @Kenjujuu: We *have* done 2H long podcasts here–but only for the most special of occasions. And I’m glad you liked the music!

    @DanChiSao: If you’re being serious, thank you. If you’re not being serious, thank you.

  5. @Lusipurr

    No, I was genuinely impressed that you guys held it together through that lightning round of a podcast. I really thought it would get derailed at some point.

  6. Kinda funny that you got through this one so quickly, but with it being so short..was there really much point? I mean, I love the podcast and it might seem a bit dissapointing if you didn’t get one out one week, but with less than 20 minutes, to be honest, it was never going to be as funny or interesting as normal.

    As with a few weeks ago when it was just Lusipurr and Ginia, I feel that maybe sometimes you should just leave it for a week perhaps.

    The music is a nice touch though!

  7. @Berserk: I agree that, if a week was missed, I’d hardly be grabbing my torch and pitchfork in preparation for an armed mob (I save that behavior for Riddlethos :F), but a short podcast’s better than no podcast, in my opinion :D.

    @EvilPaul: I saw you post a question about the tech demo they were referring to on the last podcast thread, I think this was the one: If memory serves, it was from GRIN, of Bionic Commando “fame.” Looked like a standard 3rd-person-actiony-game to me.

    RE: Podcast length: In all honesty, I’m not picky about the length of the cast, I’m sitting at my desk at work for 8 hours a day 5 days a week, so I’ve got plenty of time to listen to podcasts if it’s a slow week :D. Like I said above, though, I’ll always take a short podcast over no podcast at all!

  8. @Lusi- Haha you really need to make yourself a checklist before you start the Podcast, #1 is check that it’s still recording!

  9. Screw going green, Be real Americans! Use more then you need then throw away the rest. I don’t care if people need MBs in Ugandalvill across the pond! If the god of the Internet wanted them to have them they would have been born in AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!!

  10. @SN: I was recording. Problem was, I was the only one I was recording. And, truth be told, I wasn’t paying much attention to the fact that I wasn’t recording anyone else. I AM MOST IMPORTANT.

    @Oyashiro: That’s a passable Nate Liles impression!

  11. @ Lusipurr: In all fairness, the Oktobercast is still my reigning favourite podcast – I listened to it throughout my two hour art exam and came out with a tidy A grade, although that may just be my amazing artistic skillz. And also DG: A 15 minute podcast definitely is better than no podcast, because where else would I go for such pedantry, such arrogance, such pomposity, nay, lunacy? This podcast is a necessary part of my week.
    And I agree with Ethos – will this post be updated with news on this latest Lusipurrian venture?

  12. Lusipurr bro,
    whaddup with dat Ashley chick ?
    She dropped ya hot ?

    Watch out mamas, dat homie ‘s single n onna roll !

    Peace out, foo !
    Mister T.

  13. @Ken: If I had a favourite podcast, it would be Episode 41: Worst Podcast Ever. I will NEVER stop laughing at that podcast. Never.

    @Oyashiro: You’d better do your part and make sure Conan takes us up on our offer. So far, I haven’t heard back!

    @Mister T.: Indeed, sir, she dropped me hot.
    Peace out to you as well.

    … I’m so honoured that Mister T. dropped in to cheer me up!

  14. @Lusipurr: Episode 41 is my favorite podcast as well. every time I hear Eric scream “I’M DOING A PODCAST!” I always laugh, and that’s just one of the many moments that make me bust out laughing.

  15. I know it sounds cliche, but I don’t think I really have a “favorite” episode, I like them all. There’s never been one I haven’t genuinely enjoyed. Although the “I’M DOING A PODCAST” line was an instant classic.

    Random side note, it looks like at some point (probably when the podcast was delisted/relisted), all the reviews got cleared out of iTunes, so if anybody (like me) put a review up a while ago, they might be able to do so again. Just a friendly reminder :D.

    Also, Mister T, shouldn’t you get back to doing collect calling commercials?

  16. – If I had to pick a favourite, it would have to be the episode where NATE LILES described how Edward Cullen gives Bella a vampire C-Section! Though I did appreciate this episode for the novelty value of seeing you cram in an entire episode’s worth of content into the span of fifteen minutes, and finish with time to spare (and the music was a nice touch).

    – @Lusi: You’ll have to be eternally vigilant else Leno will steal your show too!

  17. @SN: Since the current going rate for having Leno take over your show is somewhere between $30 and $40 million, I’m sure Lusipurr would jump at the opportunity :D.

  18. ‘I’M DOING A PODCAST’ will live on forever as the funniest moment of the Megaphones Ahoy! And I don’t like Jay Leno. His chin scares me.
    You know, and it might just be a British thing, but Mister T does the commercials for WoW over here – apparently he does raids with Ozzy Osbourne or something…

  19. Yeah, I think I may have dated myself with that 1-800-Collect commercial reference. It’s been a while since I actually watched any commercials, but I think he does the same ones here (at least I’ve seen some WoW commercials involving Ozzy Osbourne, so I imagine they’re in the same series).

    And you should be afraid of Leno’s chin. It actually gained sentience years ago and had slowly taken over his entire head. It could be coming for you next!