Editorial: Justifying My Vice

2009 Game of the Year
No. --Lusi.
Initially I had determined myself, much to Lusipurr’s chagrin, to formally review The Sims 3, and its expansion, World Adventures. However, I think that I may be better served by justifying my addiction to this ridiculous waste of time. Most actual reviews state quite rightly that the customization in the game is wonderful, the graphics are so-so, but the actual gameplay is almost as wearying and dull as the reality that it is intended to simulate. Players find themselves longing for their virtual weekends in the Sims as zealously as they long for their own real-life weekends and the escape a day off offers from the daily grind. I will never deny that in this regard, the game is exceedingly dull after a few hours. The novelty of being promoted at work, or buying a new lamp can wear off quickly.

I learned rather quickly that there are other, better ways to enjoy this game, and I will list them with as much brevity as I can summon. Essentially I drift from play-style to play-style as I tire of them, so that I do not find myself bored.

Mine looks even better, darnit
1. I LOVE Home and Garden TV!
And I love to build and decorate Sim houses. I do not play with the intention of making Sim friends, or having little Sim babies. Often my primary goal when playing is to have enough in-game currency to buy or build a nice house, artfully and meticulously decorated and landscaped. Any object or surface can be re-coloured and re-textured with a few clicks of a mouse, and I take perverse delight in making my Sim houses fit for the pages of Better Homes and Gardens. I actually spend a fair amount of time watching HGTV and I constantly re-decorate my house, so really, the Sims is just an inexpensive, safe outlet for my designer urges.

2. Living Out Fantasies.
Whether it be creating a mansion where my own Cullen family lives, or the one-room shack where the Lusipurr.com staff resides, I can use the Sims 3 as an extension of other hobbies and interests. As silly as it is, after reading the Twilight books, my friends and I had a great deal of fun creating and dressing our Cullen. Building and decorating a house based upon the book’s description was also a fun challenge for us, and we argued endlessly over what Rosalie and Emmett’s room would look like.

It's funny when people die painfully!
3. I Am One Sadistic Chick
Most unfortunately, murder, theft and vandalism are illegal in the real world. I suppose that they are also illegal in The Sims, I just do not care. Nothing delights me more than finding new and hilarious way to kill Sims or otherwise make them miserable. To date I have set Nate Liles on fire, locked Lane Haygood in a windowless, doorless cell in my basement until his corpse began to stink up the house, and Eric Jordan lies dead at the bottom of my swimming pool. If only I could get away with such feats of great justice for real! (If you have any suggestions regarding the impending demise of my sim Lusipurr, please leave it in comments!)

In addition to murdering my housemates, I can also break into public and private property, steal things, pick fights, and vandalize homes. I can and will insult your mother, and even choke you out if I am so inclined. Better Sims characters than my neighbours, right? Actually, as you do not know my neighbours, that is not really fair. And in hindsight, my neighbour does have this yappy little dog …

So, in summary my friends, I do not enjoy the monotony of the Sims 3 daily routine of eating, showering, peeing, working, eating again, then sleeping. It is almost as dull as my own life. At least I have bacon. There is no bacon in Sims 3. However there is always fun to be had if one looks for it, looks for the good in a game that does try so hard.

0 comments

  1. didn’t even bother to read the article. there is no excuse. now be properly ashamed.

  2. One could argue that just continuing to exist in The Sims is the worst fate you could imagine for Lusipurr…

  3. …Fair point there, Darth Gibblet. :)
    Oh, and btw Ginia, I hope you killed Edward Cullen with fire.

  4. I suppose I shouldn’t hate Ginia, because her endless prattling on about The Sims is the only reason we have any (a) female readers.

    But I hate her anyway.

  5. I think you should give Sim Lusipurr all the tea he wishes, and then sit him down in front of the Cricket until he dies at a ripe old age.

    -BTW shame on you for liking the Sims!