Feature: Worst Game of 2009

Worst Game of 2009
Tony Hawk: Ride

Lusipurr.com is pleased to announce that Tony Hawk: Ride has been named the Worst Game of 2009!

In a year of stiff competition, with shovelware and garbage released on every current system, Tony Hawk: Ride managed to beat out all comers. With a hefty one hundred dollar price tag and a premise which leaves one wondering, “why play video games at all,” Tony Hawk: Ride is just the sort of insult to gamers worthy of our collective scorn.

Dauntless reader Kenjujuu, Briton and Alleged Female, has created this poster (inset) to commemorate the landmark event. Thank you, Kenjujuu! We appreciate your hard work, and we will now shamelessly use it as a feature to drive up our numbers. Simply click the thumbnail to see the full version of the poster. Enjoy!

0 comments

  1. well, it’s fine by me – feel free to profit off my hard work! This way you know who to call for fan-art, and when Lusipurr.com takes over the world, I get Japan and Ghana! Win-win situation!

  2. @kenjujuu:
    Well done !

    The argument is pretty much the same with Guitar Hero.
    Why spend time on learning the fake guitar
    when you can actually learn to play a real guitar ?

    Why does the game Cooking Mama exist when you can cook
    for real instead and actually eat it ?

    “Can you give me a hand with the preparation of lunch ?”
    “No, mom. I dont have time, I’m playing Cooking Mama.”

    -_-;

  3. This poster is officially my favorite thing to come out of the Tony Hawk franchise in several years.

  4. I feel so useful! :D And you make a good point, Emperor, but dontcha think Guitar Hero has that party aspect to it? Tony Hawk is just for sad losers who don’t have any friends.

    That’s not a cue for ‘Who, Oliver Motok?’

  5. Personally, I’d love to see two people try to play this at the same time. There’s absolutely NO WAY it would end with broken bones (and possible 2 fewer people interested in the game, which is a nice side bonus).

  6. Yay! You won Juju! And I can vouch for her ‘Alleged female’-ness being true ^^ (Told you I’d get round to finding this site one day!)

  7. @ Tsukikora: Well, hello there! Isn’t this a nice surprise? (Don’t let NATE LILES see you, he likes ‘cuties with the booties’, and since I don’t speak jive, that could mean anyone of the female variety.)
    @ DG: I say we set it up. But who on this site is stupid enough to have purchased this game?

  8. My jive is a little rusty, but I believe “cuties with the booties” means that NATE LILES prefers women who wear a particular type of shoe normally reserved for infants. That’s only one of many possible translations, mind you. My brother has been known to listen to the fifty cent, so I can ask him for a more accurate interpretation next time I see him.

    Also, I think we’d be hard pressed to find anybody here who actually owns Tony Hawk Ride. I’d say the video may be worth the cost of a copy, but that would only encourage Activision to make more stupid plastic accessory games, and we can’t have that. I say we steal a copy from a neighbor or something. We’ll be doing them a favor :D.

  9. @SN: Seconded. Shall I make a poster?
    @DG: Anecdote time! I was chatting to an old friend of mine online a couple of days after christmas, and she was a bit peed off because a relative of hers I particularly dislike had come over and hijacked her 360 to ‘show her how to play COD’. (read: show off and make the best of a family visit by doing what he would do at home) I raised the point that she had got plenty of actually good games for christmas, and if he really wanted to show off his lack of brain cells, why not play on his own XBox? That way he could post about his amazing headshotting skillz on his facebook, and his two friends would read and be impressed. He then proceeded to insult me through my friend over the internet (making him lose his high-score or something, thus getting him more riled up). I then said to my friend ‘He must love showing off his maaaad gaming skills. I bet he has Tony Hawk Ride too’.

    He did. We laughed.

    The moral of the story for those thinking ‘tl;dr’ is I can always steal his version! Then I can return it, because really, isn’t that worse than us keeping hold of it?

  10. Sounds like that guy is one of the few people out there who truly deserves Tony Hawk Ride :D

  11. @jujuu

    don’t think i’ve forgotten about getting a print of this poster of win :D i wants it on my wall ^^

    plus psst, this is a comment.. shiny cookie for moi?

  12. Lissy!?!? Juju got you on here too?

    It is a pretty poster of win, and I WANT A SHINY COOKIE TOO!!!!

    I think my moogle doll was the model for the poster, right Juju?

  13. she did indeed, nee chan :D

    i dont think mine was.. i still need to perform emergency surgery on the poot things leg ¬¬