MAP Episode 49: Realistic Masturbatory Fisting Action

It Belongs on a Wii

Download Link: Produced 2010.01.24

Lusipurr.com welcomes aboard a new staff member in this diet, Nate-Liles-free, podcast. Confronted with the sixth delay of a much-anticipated game (and accessory), the panel instead considers whether or not it is safe to put the SOM in one’s mouth.

0 comments on “MAP Episode 49: Realistic Masturbatory Fisting Action”

  1. I have come up with the most awesome idea ever: combine the three devices mentioned in the podcast.

    The Alleged iThing + DSi XL + SOM = iFap XL

    Because what every family wants is to crowd around Grandpa to watch him molest a Japanese schoolgirl while being electronically jacked off.

  2. Ginia, you HAVE to get that thing !

    You could let it mash potatoes for you,
    it is the ultimate kitchen aid. ;P

  3. Nothing get me more turned on then sticking my penis in something that has moving gears and that could make me go sterile if there is a power surge!

  4. I am 100% sure Nintendo will answer on this peripheral with a new version of their Power Glove.

  5. @EmperorZorn: I LOLed.

    I am so looking forward to the NEW Power Glove! (Now with realistic masturbatory fisting action!)

  6. @Lusipurr: Inspired by Tony Hawk Ride, Nintendo’s new power glove will be a REAL RUBBER GLOVE! It’s 100% immersive, and will only cost $99! Due to child predator concerns, however, it will not come with “realistic masturbatory fisting action” by default. You’ll have to enter a unique 16-digit code every time you want to enable that feature.

    @Jenifer: If you keep your costs low and add the right marketing spin, I’m sure there are people willing to buy the iFap XL, especially if you can put a fake “Apple” logo on it.

    @Oyashiro: I don’t know, some of those old-fashioned wind-up music boxes were pretty hot.

  7. @DG: Will that unique code be NATE LILES’ phone number?
    And thanks for the thanks on the podcast, guys :P

  8. @ Lusipurr: Ah, the many varioations of my name…
    And i will be sorely disappointed if you don’t go up to random people and demand that the let you show them your pokemans. I know I do! :) We should battle over the Wi-Fi sometime.

  9. @Kenju: If we battle over Wi-Fi, you will definitely win. I’ve only got three gym badges (so my PKMN are very low level), and they are also badly balanced and quite weak. I pick them because I like them, and not because they are particularly good.

    I used to have a well-balanced party, back when Diamond/Pearl came out, and I beat everyone all of the time. But, it stopped being fun after a while. So, now I only use the PKMN that I like. As a result, I don’t think I’ve won a game against a human player since.

  10. @Lusi/KJJ: My biggest problem with WiFi Pokemon battling is it negates my best strategy. Namely, popping my opponent’s batteries out of his gameboy mid-battle.

  11. @DG: How do you manage to do that with a DS!?

    Lusimon uses SPLASH!
    DGmon uses HAMMER AND SMASHES LUSI’S DS.

  12. @Lusi: It’s an old tactic that’s been gimped in subsequent patches.

  13. You could try it locally and pop the DS cartridge out. And just so you know, Lusipurr, I can place together a well-balanced team of pokemans right now at an average level of your choice. I own nearly all of them :P

  14. No NATE LILES D:

    -I’ll never trust the internets again!

    -It’s more than the first four hours of XIII that are straight, I’ve heard that it’s the first twenty hours …

    -The new Vandal Hearts sounds RUBBISH, it’s one of the many franchises that Konami have farmed out to western devs (and we all know how well that turns out … ).

    -Anyway, I thought that you didn’t like games with the word “hearts” in their title?

    -Operah isn’t people!

    -Why wasn’t NATE LILES here to talk about fisting action?!!?

    -I apprieciate your inclusion of the “don’t put it in your mouth” song, I do however feel strongly that you should let Ginia sing it!

    @Lusi- I don’t want to be an arse glove!