Pummel Your Way Into a Swimsuit!
Its summertime, meaning its time to be vaguely arousing in a bikini, but what if you cannot possibly spare any time from gaming to exercise? Seeing as we here at Lusipurr.com loathe the Wii Fit, it would seem that there is no hope and that we are doomed to be disgusting fatasses forever. But no more! After releasing the Move last week, Sony decided that they should continue stealing ideas from Nintendo, and thus created their own way to feel the burn. Motion Fighter, a fighting game in the loosest sense of the word, will display on the screen how many calories you have burned while playing it. But what is the method of interaction in Motion Fighter? Busting faces! Yes faithful readers, you can bring your Grand Theft Auto experience to life by smashing people in the face, all while melting away the ‘big bones’ in your fat ass! Of course, with most everything involving the Sony Move, there is no scheduled release date, but try not to die from a cheeseburger-induced heart attack before then.
Because We Cannot Go A Week Without Mentioning Them
Another company whose faces we would like to punch in, Square Enix! Luckily, they also enjoy you punching in faces, because that brings them lots of money. Final Fantasy Dissidia sold rather well, and this week, Tetsuya Nomura stated that he would love to do a sequel to it. Whether this means a new round of Cosmos versus Chaos or to rehash it with a new set of characters is left completely to the imagination, ad the rather vague producer only said “I will do my best!” Way to be uplifting, Nomura-san. Square also continued yanking our collective dicks with the weekly “we would love to do a remake of FFVII,” but that is no surprise. Listen to the podcast to hear Lusipurr, Ginia, Nate, and Oliver discuss this dick-yanking. It goes up on Monday!
Dark Street Stalker Fighters!
More face punching! Yoshinori Ono has wrapped up production of Super Street Fighter IV, due late April in North American markets, and recently gave an interview about what he would like to do from here. Obviously, after finishing one game, the last thing he wants to do is immediately make another of essentially the same exact game, saying that Hyper Street Fighter IV is not going to be his next title. Instead, he would really like to try his hand at a Darkstalkers game. This would of course require the right permissions and the right amount of money, as well as a new game engine to handle the various transformations of the characters, but he called it his next dream project.
Video Games Make People Fat and Violent!
Because three articles about face punching really are not doing any favors to an already vilified gaming community, here is one to tell Hillary Clinton to shove it up her ass. At the 2010 Game Developers Conference, the United States Chief Technology Officer made an address about his hope for the future of, you guessed it, video games. Aneesh Chopra encouraged developers to create games that would help children learn their core curriculum, as well as offering a contest to develop games and apps that would enforce Michelle Obama’s fight against childhood obesity. The only problem, as Georgia Institute of Technology associate professor Dr. Ian Bogost reports, is the shallow political move being made. A video games designer himself, Bogost knows that games are complex, expensive things that are not easy to create and, even more importantly, market. The Wii Fit and its various clones are the only games with any popularity that promote a level of social responsibility, health in their case. There are hundreds of games out there that promote these concepts, but if they are not picked up by the big names, they are drowned out and not played outside of the developer’s local school district. Instead, he says, this announcement is the White House’s way of blending in with the younger crowd, and while they may have good intentions and would be generally pleased if a healthy game got widespread release, all they care about is the votes of those just turning eighteen. So I want to ask, our loyal readers, what do you think?