MAP Episode 63: Chaos

Actually, Oliver has the complete series on Blu-Ray. It came with a complimentary bag of grits. And a cock in his butt. At least, that's how Ethan explained the situation.
Oliver Motok Gets His Wish

Download Link: Produced 2010.05.02

In a massive conjunction of NASCAR, pornography, potatoes, farts (& butts), and the works of Pablo Picasso, the five-member panel manages to produce fully an hour of absolutely nothing whatsoever, leading Nate to throw himself onto the floor in a tantrum.


  1. :(

    Every time the link is wrong, ten trolls are born in the internet.

  2. It’s Monday, but it’s not up! I have nothing to believe in any more!

    *jumps from roof*

  3. Apparently the automatic updater does not work as well as I thought it did. (That is, it works sometimes.)

    Anyway, it has been fixed, and it is Monday. So, it still GOES UP ON MONDAYS.

  4. Also, as you will see from the content, it is somehow appropriate that there was a technical issue. This particular episode was absolutely bonkers.

  5. Agarest War is supposed to be a full length release at 40-60 hours from what I hear. I have the umm…honor?…of reviewing it for my site. I’m going to start working on it this week, I think. If you don’t see me again, it means my brain melted.

  6. If RPGCast is to be believed, Agarest War is very brain-melting. I wish you the best of luck.

  7. I’m with Oliver. I hate driving, too. I would much rather live in a city with good mass transit.

    I care nothing about HALO. One of the other writers at my site eats, shits and breathes that series, and his TV is broken right now. I laughed about it until I realized that he has to use my TV to play it so he can talk about it.

    I actually had Tetris and Pac-Man board games when I was little. They weren’t nearly as fun.

    Also, Chrono Trigger, Earthbound and FF6 <3

    SMT: NASCAR only has Oboroguruma as a recruitable demon. Imagine is still running, but I quite playing it some time ago. I only played the beta, too.

  8. @DG Yeah, I heard that. I’ve also successfully completed Cross Edge; so, I’m hoping that I’ve built up a tolerance to Idea Factory’s ridiculousness.

  9. @Lusi I’m hoping it’s a decent tactical RPG, but I’m not really holding out hope considering the fact that their entire marketing campaign has been about sex and barely mentions gameplay.

    I have to admit that their marketing department seems like they had a lot of fun writing copy, though.

  10. yup, im really tired of jrpgs loli characters.
    and Enix f(&% up Square, enix wasnt such a great company to begin with.What did they make? Dragon Quest? Star ocean? meh

  11. Never been a fan of either DQ or Star Ocean. And generally, the decline in Square’s game quality can be traced back to that merger.

    Enix is the worst thing ever to happen to Square.

  12. The sacking of Sakaguchi was akin to the death of Walt Disney.

    -He championed creativity and ambition ahead of mindless profit grabbing, and he was the key figure keeping this philosophy alive. He allowed his employees to be better. Now the company has become unsalvageabley corporate, most of their game ideas are recycled, and on the rare circumstances when they do need to come up with an original idea, it is focus tested until it becomes generic.

    -The FF series risks being lost to creative inertia and atrophy. Team Kitase has clearly lost their culture of creativity … AND WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING BY HAVING MOTOMU “REVENANT WINGS” TORIYAMA TO WRITE THE SCENARIO, RATHER THAN KAZOSHINGE NOJIMA?!

    -Nomura is their only remaining talent, let’s hope that the corporate process doesn’t fuck with his game design too much … or that he has the good sense to leave, and join Mistwalker!

  13. I very much wish Mistwalker made games for the PS3. I wonder what the deal is with that. Someone should ask that question in an interview!

  14. Mistwalker provide games for whichever company provides them with a development team. Mistwalker only design the games, and can’t create anything without a partner …

  15. A poor substitute, but you’ll have to do …

    Now make a wildly partisan claim!

  16. The next Mist Walker game will surely be a Virtual Boy exclusive!

  17. @DG- No, no, no, you’re doing it all wrong. It must be for the glory of SONY!!!


  19. OMG, I was trying to fall asleep while listening to this, me having a massive cold and all, and I couldn’t because of me LOL all the time. DAMN YOU MAP!

  20. Oh, I actually liked both Square AND Enix (they also made Valkyrie Profile btw) but they have put up almost nothing besides crap ever since the merger. And Yoichi Wada has to be the BIGGEST ASSHOLE to ever be born in Japan since WWII.

  21. You guys are all jerks! Enix was lovely. Star Ocean and Valkyrie Profile were the shiz. And it seems like whenever I whip out an old ROM, it’s an Enix logo that pops up in my face.

    Squeenix is just their ugly bastard child.

  22. Enix was just a publisher, they published other studio’s games and they farmed out their game concepts for others to develop. This is the ethos which Enix brought with them to the partnership, and it kinda sorta looks like their way of thinking won out.

    Both of the games that you mention are Tri-Ace games, lionise Tri-Ace.

  23. Yeah, that’s true.

    I like the awesome accessory you can get in SO2 that looks like Tri-Ace logo, and the flavour text says something about being the insignia of some God-like entity. :P

    Whatever, y’all are still jerks. Enix had taste.

  24. That’s a fairly niche market … though the Sims games seem to sell ok.

  25. @SN: Lies! You care, and deeply, about the Halo franchise! Are you not one of the twelve remaining Halo 2 players?

  26. -Oliver once again makes an absurd statement, Tetris is a game completely outside of time, all attempts to update it (Tetris 3D) have failed miserably by needlessly complicating the pure Tetris formula. Tetris is a very deserving winner of best aged game.

  27. @Lusi- I’m afraid not, I don’t own a working Xbox. I think it might be Luis Vasquez and his eleven brothers, that’s why he hasn’t been on FB lately.

  28. i dont give a f%&&$ about halo too. specially those nazi live action trailers that they released from time to time.

  29. Halo (the first one, never played the others) was a mediocre, repetitive as hell generic FPS. It sucks because of the many awful elements it brought to the genre and the many millions of stupid fanboys who think it’s the most amazing thing EVAR.

    Seriously, the gameplay is nothing remarkable. If you’ve never played an FPS before I guess you might be amazed, but go and look the fuck around. It wasn’t the original or the greatest.

    The story is cliched and generic. The Big Reveal is that there’s those face grabbing monsters that Half-Life stole from Alien ten years earlier.

    Hate. Hate. Hate.

    That’s all I’ve got for now. Also, the live action commercials are retarded.

  30. The original Halo was actually the high point of the series …

  31. @SN: As probably the only person here who enjoys Halo, I’d have to agree with you from a single player prospective. While EP’s right in that it didn’t bring anything new or interesting to the SciFi or FPS genres as a whole, I thought the campaign was a solid, fun, compact experience with a definitive start and end. Unfortunately, I felt the campaigns kind of fell apart for 2 and 3 (especially 3. ODST’s was OK). I’ve always had a great time with the multiplayer, though. You’ll never hear me claiming it’s the second coming or anything, but it’s a great time playing a few rounds with friends online.

  32. I was quite satisfied with Halo’s single-player campaign, 2 and 3 were very poorly done by comparison. So long as the franchise keep tacking on a single player campaign to their multi-player, then I will continue to judge them for it (since the reverse is ALWAYS true). IMO if they’re not willing to make a good single player game then they should just go the Left FOR Dead/Team Fortress route.

  33. @SN: Can’t fault you for that logic. As you said, the standard certainly goes the other way.