The evil of Peter Molyneaux knows neither limit nor boundary.
I speak of course of Fable III, the latest scourge spawned from Thakmardul, the Anvil of the Damned which sits in the frozen wastes below Cocytus. Molyneaux believes that the breaking of wind is a game mechanic, a decision I can only consider with revulsion.
Fable III continues the true evil of the series, which is how insidiously good the game looks. Graphically, the games are impressive. The weapons are fun to use, but… all in all, the gameplay suffers. Whereas the original Fable was a sufficient answer by the Xbox to another stylistic action-adventure game that is getting its own underwhelming sequel. Its derivative nature was less annoying and more a cheerful homage.
I think the problem is Fable‘s gradual shift through the timeline of Albion. As it has departed its medieval fantasy roots and embraced other fantasy genres, its magic has worn off. It has reveled in style and Molyneaux’s, ahem… “visionary” concepts like removing familiar menu systems in favor of new and more intuitive ones.
Again, these are all things that should happen, but invariably they also get packaged in with the ability to fart in people’s faces. The greatest tragedy of Fable‘s sequels is that they represent a squandered legacy, a chance to really revamp the gaming landscape… and yet, we are left with flatulence jokes.
However, Molyneaux is a famous and wealthy developer, and I am a lowly attorney slaving away over the nicest collection of murderers, rapists and thieves anyone will ever meet. So if one cannot beat the greatest evil in the known universe, one must join him.
Therefore, Peter Molyneaux, I humbly request that Fable III contain gratuitous underboob.