News: Accidentally the Everything

Tonberry Stabs Yuffie
For all those who had their money stolen: DOINK!

I Accidentally the iTunes

What is the laziest way to make money that’s taking the world by storm? Make an app. With the phrase “there’s an app for that” running rampant, developers ranging from well-known businesses to lonely nerds in their basement know that where there’s an app for that, there is money for it too. The problem with this is, as with any product, competition. So what is a lonely basement nerd to do when no one downloads their app? Hack people’s iTunes accounts of course! A Vietnamese developer did just that this week, stealing anywhere from $100 to $1,400 on various accounts by using them to download his apps. His hacked purchasing spree sent his illegal manga apps to claim the top forty-two spots on the list of top fifty books downloaded in the U.S., raising eyebrows and eventually leading to him being caught. Apple, as expected, takes no responsibility for this, instead suggesting that all hacked users cancel their credit cards and work through the creditors to get a refund for their stolen money.

Melona (Queen's Blade)
Her acid-spitting breasts are so awesome that even her hair has to cop a feel.

I Accidentally the Tits

Any video game fan knows one thing is true of all female characters: women are more functional on the battlefield as our breasts get bigger and the clothing covering them gets smaller and/or tighter. This week, Sony got a bit confused on this point, both condoning and condemning it. First up, the Guinness World Records has awarded the title of Best PS3 strategy RPG upon Valkyria Chronicles and, presumably, Selvaria’s sweet melons. This decision was based upon its Metacritic and GameRankings ratings, as well as a claim of Game of the Year and Strategy Game of the Year, though it does not say who gave it those two honors. But as they applauded the great SEGA game, they also removed an episode of the titular (literally) anime Queen’s Blade. For those who have never watched it, the series follows one simple rule: attacks do not result in bleeding wounds, just exposed breasts. Because of the explicit nature, the free episode was only on PSN for a short time before it was quickly removed, acid-spitting nipples and all.

Hair Trolling
Right up there with coolface.jpg.

Trolls Trolling Trolls

So you want to log in to World of Warcraft and play a fun game of PvP the noobs. You must be Ginia Herrell! Now, the entire world will know that you are Ginia Herrell, douchebitch extraordinaire! Except you and the rest of the internet bitched, so now you can troll anonymously til the end of time. In the span of a week, one of the biggest stories to come out of Blizzard was announced and almost immediately retracted. In principle, the RealID system proposed by Blizzard was to remove the mask of anonymity that encourages otherwise ordinary people to act like fucktards on the internet, revealing the user’s actual first and last name on the Battle.net forums. The effects were set to occur before the end of the month before the launch of the StarCraft II community site, but in the three days following the announcement on Tuesday, the internet went berserk. Thus, on Friday, Blizzard stated that they have taken the overwhelmingly negative response into account and have decided not to implement the system “at this time.” So for the time being, continue trolling, Ms. Herrell, continue trolling.

0 comments

  1. I feel as though your boobs have really outdone themselves on this occasion.

    Also, Apple sucks.

    But mainly just the boobs. Well done. (:

  2. I can wholeheartedly agree with the Valkyria Chronicles award as I consider it one, if not the best game of the last decade.

    I’m sure the people finding all of Micah Whipple’s personal information helped Blizzard make that decision.

    Also, that’s umm…quite an interesting tonberry picture.

  3. I wish I could take credit for such epic boobs. Seriously, even if you’re not an anime fan, watch Queen’s Blade. Merona/Melona (depending on which translation you use) is an awesome character in a series full of tits. It has some decent character development too…but there are obvious reasons why no one really notices.

    And definitely agreed, I loved Valkyria Chronicles, I wish they would come out with the next one already. It just strikes me as odd that Guinness World Records would award something like that.

  4. Woohoo, another anime to add to my ridiculously long to-watch list.

  5. And, since noone else will probably ask…subbed or dubbed?

  6. @Jenifer: I think Guinness has a whole “video game records” devision now or something. Apparently recording meaningless milestones is HUGE business.

    Also, I’ll add Queen’s Blade to my list as well. Totally for the character development. The luscious, bouncy character development.

    @Deimosion: I usually go subbed unless I hear the dubbing is really good. So many anime plots just sound way too ridiculous when spoken out loud.

    – I, too, want VC2 to come out. Giving the game a second playthrough with the site last year really turned my opinion around on it. Not sure why I was so down on it initially (not that I ever really disliked it, I just found it kind of “meh”), but it really is a great game.

  7. LOL, yeah, like best superhero game ever, because we are really enthralled by that one horse race. Guiness should cover hideous freaks and oddities of nature, and nothing else.

  8. I watched it subbed, but that’s because I watch everything subbed. I’m not typically one of the dubs-are-inferior brats, but you can only listen to Steve Blum and Kari Wahlgren so many times before wanting to scream “DAMMIT HIRE OTHER PEOPLE!” Its not that they are bad voice actors, but not every male character needs to be Steve Blum or Johnny Yong Bosch.

  9. And also, I can’t remember who asked last time I was on TF2 but the last picture is also Konata from Lucky Star, the girl in my Steam icon.

  10. That me, I think, that asked you that. And I usually assume subbed, but figured it was worth asking anyways.

  11. If you’re looking for good dubbed anime, go with the first season of Gunslinger Girl. It is one of my all-time favorite anime, and the dub was surprisingly good. Tsukuyomi Moon Phase was a decent dub as well. And despite what everyone says, I didn’t think the dub of Evangelion was that bad…compared to anime released in the U.S. in the 1990s (Yoroiden Samurai Troopers/Ronin Warriors, Sailor Moon, early DBZ) it was actually quite good.

  12. Where do you get those creepy anime pics? always really disturbing

  13. @juan22 – http://www.gelbooru.com and http://www.danbooru.com.
    click if you dare.

    @Jenifer – how could you suggest to anyone that steaming pile of shit Queens Blade? not even UNDERBooB could save that show.

    if you want to check out the “character development” just check out the battle books.

    -WARNING- some battle books contain lolis.

  14. Good dubbed anime? Lessee…there’s the gold standard: Cowboy Bebop. Then there’s Goldenboy, one of the few shows I can honestly say that the dub made it BETTER. Spice and Wolf’s dub isn’t bad, but Holo’s VA has some parts where she could be better.

  15. @Juan: Gelbooru is my primary, as well as Danbooru, but I like gel better because you can subtract search terms, like searching for “breasts” then subtracting the tag for “covered in semen.” Because our website has high standards like that.

    @DanChiSao: Ah, Cowboy Bebop, how could I forget that one? Of course, it is where Blum began his legendary status as the VA for every male in the past ten years. I laughed my ass off when they introduced his character in Valkyria Chronicles.

    And Spice and Wolf is one of the many I’ve been meaning to try….but the ‘meaning to try’ list is slowly growing larger than the number I’ve actually seen.

  16. I know everyone thinks of Blum as Spike first, but I’ll pretty much always associate him with Tom the Robot from Toonami.

    And I really like S&W. It’s probably one of my favorite series of all time.

  17. @Jenifer I hear that. Fuck, I still need to watch Evangelion.

  18. @Deimosion: I’ve been meaning to re-watch Eva for years. The last (and only) time I watched it, I was something like 14 and had NO IDEA WTF was going on. Now, though, I figure I’ll just wait for the rebuild episodes to all be finished, then watch all of them. More compact than watching the whole series over again, and from what I’ve heard they do a better job of fleshing out the plot.

    @DCS: I’ve heard S&W is really good from several sources now. It’s going on the backlog list :D

  19. I really need to watch Evangelion. I’ve only seen the films, and was like WTF?

  20. @Breaka: what?! How could you not like Queen’s Blade? The only thing I truly disliked about it, oddly enough, is that its constant ero focus often detracted from otherwise interesting characters and story.

    @Deimo, Gibblet, and NooB: please don’t waste your time on the Rebuilds. Shiny CG is shiny, and that’s about it. Watching the series is more time consuming, but well worth the time spent. Pro-tip: don’t think too hard about episodes 25 and 26, your brain will rage quit.

  21. @Jenifer – it’s nothing but titties! I love titties as much as the next guy but dammit that shit belongs in porn. I quit after the second episode. that mud wrestling shit was just ubsurd. when I’m disqusted by an anime on the second episode it goes in the shit pile.

  22. …Admittedly the mud-wrestling episode was a massive WTF, I didn’t like it either >.<