Download Link: Produced 2010.08.22
Biggs journeys to Castle Lusipurr, whence she and Monsieur le Mayor Bup proceed to the Bavarian fortress town of Frankenmuth. There, they enjoy chicken, beer, and polka music, before returning to record this personal podcast with their humble host.
* * * * * * *
The following exchange was intercepted this afternoon by the Castle Lusipurr Security Detail.
Lusipurr: Hi Ginia! Save me plox ;.;
Virginia Herrell: Biggs?
Lusipurr: Yes, Lusi is showering at the moment
Virginia Herrell: EWWWWWW
Virginia Herrell: Don’t look, for the love of Jeebus
Virginia Herrell: Ok, just be cool. I’ll call the cops, just sit tight and don’t draw attention to yourself :/
Virginia Herrell: Do not make direct eye contact with the Lusi
Lusipurr: He’s been trying to kill me slowly, starting with the cat biting me. My theory is he’s trained her to eat the body so no evidence remains.
Virginia Herrell: Carolina almost killed me once, too!
Virginia Herrell: Their methods have become more advance,d though >.> This is worrying.
Lusipurr: Halp me
Virginia Herrell: I’m trying, but I think he’s bribing the local police. =(
Virginia Herrell: I think his dad has a hunting rifle you can borrow…
Lusipurr: No need for that, Lusi is foolish enough to let me sleep between him and the mace.
Virginia Herrell: If anyone asks, we were on webcam doing hot internet girl-on-girl stuff the whole time and I saw nothing
Virginia Herrell: Even better, blunt force trauma is som uch harder to trace
Lusipurr: Yes, that’s a good alibi. I saw your gigantic midget tits and my mind was blown, we never spoke of my imprisonment or anything.
Virginia Herrell: Whoohoo I get to talk to some twat who cracked their iPod and is demanding a free repair =D
Virginia Herrell: And your plan is sound =D
Lusipurr: Oh I love those kinds of morons.
Virginia Herrell: *cracks knuckles*
Virginia Herrell: Me too
Lusipurr: “I didn’t think it would shatter like glass if I dropped it out of my car window while going 60 MPH, this is clearly a design flaw and I demand a refund.”
Virginia Herrell: TOOOO BAD
Virginia Herrell: Oh it’s a dude
Virginia Herrell: He’s a dick
Lusipurr: Interestingly enough, my phone is a badass and survived flying out of my window at 30MPH
Virginia Herrell: Pix or it didn’t happen
Lusipurr: It wasn’t in camcorder mode during its ordeal, so unfortunately, none exists.
Lusipurr: Oh shi–, the sound of running water has stopped, the tyrant is soon to follow.
Lusipurr: You remember our alibi, tell the Canadian FBI to hurry.
Virginia Herrell: Word!
Shortly thereafter, Jenifer Biggs died suddenly when she accidentally, horribly bludgeoned herself to death whilst combing her hair. The Lusipurr.com staff mourns her loss.