News: Quotedustry!

Heavy Rain Kiss
Where is the 'Donkey Punch' option?

Heavy Rain Gives While Taking Away

At this year’s British Academy of Film and Television Arts Awards for Video Games, Quantic Dream swept the floor with the hit crime game, Heavy Rain. Winning the awards for story and original score are not entirely surprising, but it also took home the prize for technical innovation with its unique handling that was met with both praise and scorn by the gaming community. You would think that Quantic Dream would capitalize on this and go the way of the Kotick to gut the series for every penny its worth, but not so. Studio boss David Cage is definitely proud of the win, insisting that his studio “created the genre” and want to develop upon it further.

“But at the same time I didn’t want to make a sequel. I made that very clear before knowing whether the game would be a success or a failure, because I want to show that it’s really a genre. Which means that you can use a similar drama to tell any type of story in any genre and in any style.”

However, he has expressed interest in possibly creating DLC for the game to explore the origins of the Origami Killer, but there are currently no plans for such a project. So what do we have to look forward to from Quantic Dream? Back in July 2010, Cage stated that they were working on two separate titles, and he clarifies at the BAFTA awards that the next games will be similarly dark and dramatic with a strong focus on interactive storytelling.


Obviously the British Academy of Herp Derp

So who else was at the Video Game BAFTA? Our good old buddy Peter ‘ChildTouch’ Molyneux! He was awarded a BAFTA Fellowship for his nearly thirty years in the industry, an impressive feat even for a pedophile. He thanked all of his colleagues in the industry and went on to talk of his disappointments with Fable 3. He blames himself, not his staff, for its Metacritic score below that of Fable 2, feeling that Fable 3 was not up to date enough to capture the attention of modern gamers, specifically those lost in their FPS worlds. Translation: “Oliver Motok, why have you left me in favor of Call of Duty?!” He goes on to say that he has learned from this and has a clear set of ideas for the direction of the next installment of the Fable series, but oddly enough, he does not confirm the existence of such a follow-up title.

“If we go on, we’re not just going to make another Fable, we’re going to make something that stands head and shoulders up with anybody else out there – the best of the best – in terms of its technology, its drama and its storytelling.”

Amusingly enough, in the same post-BAFTA interview, Molyneux apologizes to his fans for some misleading statements made during interviews. According to ChildTouch, he can think of at least ten different features that he’s made up on the spot in order to keep the journalists awake, features he never followed up on. So look forward to an all-new* and improved* Fable! (*possibly made up)

From VGCats
Damn you, Gabe 'Marty McFly' Newell!!

Speaking of Imaginary BS…

My lovely Lusi-losers, who is the favorite pariah of video game controversy? Other than Molyneux. And Kotick. And Square. Dammit guys, I mean our ultra-conservative buddy Jack Thompson! He’s been a good little troll and kept his mouth shut for a while, but he has opened his mouth to attack our favorite Hutt of the industry, Valve’s Gabe Newell! Of course, it is notable that Newell really had no part in this except for the creation of Half-Life 2 and the easily modified Source engine. The target of Thompson’s attack lies more with mod developer Checkerboarded Studios, who released a HL2 mod with the family-friendly name “School Shooter: North American Tour 2012.” It is a relatively obscure mod, but seeing as it is based off of Columbine and Virginia Tech, it is easily one of the most tasteless mods available. While Checkerboarded is in need of a good boot to the head for the creation of such a mod, good ol’ Jack takes the stupidity meter and cranks it up to 11. Though the mod is not scheduled for release until Q3 2011, Thompson states that this modification was “obsessively played, and thus became a training aid” for Robert Steinhauser and Seung-Hi Cho, whose school shootings occurred in 2002 and 2007 respectively. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, Gabe Newell invented time travel for the sole purpose of making such shootings happen. The disbarred Thompson goes on to give Newell an ultimatum: shut down this public safety hazard by 5PM EST. He does not say what will happen if Newell does not comply with the incredulous demand, but ends his letter in all caps:


So please Gabe Newell, use your holy time travel powers to go to the future to stop an unrelated studio from releasing the mod to your game so that it cannot go back into the past to make the school shootings of the more-recent past. Wait….what?


  1. You hurt me, Peter. You made promises of PROGRESS that you never kept.

    But damn it, WHY CAN’T I QUIT YOU!?

  2. Jack Thompson is right! Time travel is evil, and can only be used for evil! Let’s go back in time and prevent Gabe Newell from inventing it!

  3. I no longer believe Jack Thompson is a Real Live Person. I am convinced he is something made up to scare and tittilate gamers, like a children’s horror story. Equal parts humour and insanity!