News: Kinect, Japan, and You

Kinect Boat
Totally not a gimmick.

When details of Project Natal first released, made fun of it to no end. It was the butt of every jokes, silly Microsoft babby will never go anywhere, and if it does, it will be the next Wii, beloved only for its gimmick value and forgotten in a few months. We were only correct in half of that prediction. The games so far have been so gimmicky that they make the Wii look like a legitimately amazing piece of technology; after all, the Wii and the Move only make you wave a dildo at your television, not your entire naked body. One of the next upcoming Kinect-enabled titles only further drives this point home: Forza Motorsport 4 will supposedly allow you to drive a car with your body. It is only speculation at this time, with no response as of yet from Microsoft, but you can reportedly drive while standing with your arms at the ten-and-two position you would use with a normal steering wheel. The facial recognition of the Kinect will track the movements of your head, tilting the view as if you were peering into the next corner as if you were driving a real vehicle. Outside of the race track, Kinect would also allow you to navigate Forza’s virtual showroom, as narrated by Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson.

But what if you have no interest in fat snarky British men? Well then why do you listen to Lusipurr? Besides that, what if you have no interest in cars at all? Hell, what if you have no interest in the Xbox at all and wish you had something less phallic for using motion control on your PS3? Good news, as Kinect has now been hacked into serving a new master! A hacker by the unfortunate name of Shantanu Goel posted on Youtube a video of himself using the Kinect on his PS3 and even attempting to play Killzone 3 on it, all controlled with his gestures. Of course, this being the internet, everyone immediately cried fake, suggesting he or a third party had a controller somewhere off screen, but Shantotto was determined to prove he had succeeded. He posted the source code and complete instructions on how to duplicate his hack, though it does not appear anyone has yet gone through the effort to make sure it is all sound. While Microsoft has previously been cooperative and even happy to see people making creative modifications to their peripheral, use of the Kinect with another console would raise a number of interesting questions.

Ghost in the Shell Translation Fail
3D Brain Semen!

But hey, at least he is only showing this on YouTube and not, you know, as an add-on to your major motion picture. The anime movie Ghost in the Shell S.A.C. Solid State Society was released in 2006 and is currently being re-released in 3D in Japanese movie theaters, but that is not what’s of importance. Japanese tech company Kayac made a demo to go along with the movie where Kinect users can interact with the robotic character Tachikoma through a mission from the movie, but there is one very curious problem with this demo: it does not run on a 360. Instead, interested fans will have to go to a store in Shibuya where, through April 19th, the game will be available to play on a PC. There is no word whether or not this will be adapted into a full game, or if it is just another product of Japanese gamers loving to toy with technology. But what else do Japanese gamers love? Loli Airplane Machine

Besides loli tits. Given the nation’s current crisis, they probably would love your money to rebuild their country. Unlike American disaster victims who will cry for months, the Japanese have already begun to recooperate from the disaster, this roadway being a primary example. Courtesy of Jalopnik, we can see that in a mere six days, road crews took a mangled section of the Great Kanto Highway and repaired it so well that it is tempting to cry shoop.

Japan HighwayThis kind of effort make weeaboos like myself even more eager to give to their reconstruction and rehabilitation effort, but how? Well, you can give to your area Red Cross or Red Crescent societies, accessible via and get a tax write-off for your contribution. But what if you want to donate and have fun? That’s where Valve comes in!

TF2 Japan Hats

From now until April 6th, Team Fortress 2 users can log in to the in-game store and purchase the three hats shown above. The Humanitarian’s Hachimaki is only $7.99, the Benefactor’s Kanmuri is $19.99, and for those of you with bigger paychecks than my own, you can get the Magnanimous Monarch for $99.99. All three hats can be worn by any class but they cannot be traded or used for crafting. All proceeds will still go to the fund set up by the American Red Cross, and you will be able to show off your generous e-peen in the world’s premier war-themed hat simulator. Thank you Valve, and thank you Japan!

Edit: Herp and derp, I forgot a picture. Please do not assault me too hard, I am not fond of bleeding and pain.


  1. @RBK: I had originally written “The Humanitarian Hachimaki (English: that damn think RootBeerKing wears all the time)” but realized that’s only on Twitter. You should add one to your root beer can icon.

  2. Japan looks to be doing just fine without my donations.

  3. If it all gets too much for them, they could perhaps subdue their neighbors, and use them for slave labour.

  4. I am upset that all loli airplane machines are wearing their katana on the wrong side.

  5. Disappointing Alt text is disappointing.

    The hacked PS3 Kinect thing is interesting. I still think that the only useful things done with it will end up being not gaming related. If Microsoft wants to make games control better they could start adding Mouse+Keyboard support to games that suck with a controller. Like all those FPSes that are the only thing most people on XBLA play.