How many of our readers are gullible and retarded and believed everything they read while on the internet Friday? If you avoided being trolled mightily yesterday by avoiding the internet altogether, here is a nice round-up of what you missed:
To start things off, gaming news site Destructoid celebrated the spring day of foolery by a complete downgrade. HTML and CSS went out the window when they decided to write every article and draw every picture. Some of these articles were scanned, while others look to have been drawn, pasted together, and taken a picture of for their presentation. Comment link had been removed and in order for a reader to comment, they were required to call Destructoid and reference the article or fax in their comment.
But that is nothing compared to the hoops that Google made their gullible fans jump through, quite literally. Gmail Motion debuted yesterday as a way to both streamline e-mail use and get the user up and out of their chair. The concept was simple yet hilarious: standing in front of a webcam, the user would gesture as if opening an envelope to open an e-mail, then lick their thumb as if it were a stamp to send the e-mail. Any curious user who clicked the button to try Gmail Motion were directed to Google’s confession of the hoax, but given all of the other Kinect hacks we have seen in recent months, it only seems to be a matter of time until someone makes Google’s amusing idea a reality.
Speaking of the Kinect, who wants to play a nice game of Dance Central? With Halo characters? Gaming website 1Up revealed their users dancing around in the popular ass-waggle game with coordinated avatars of Master Chief, each dance move highlighted with a relevant name like ‘Plasma Dodge’ or ‘Rage Quit.’ In other crappy music game related news, Guitar Hero may be dead but Rock Band is not as they announced their new version of the game starring teen singing sensation Justin Bieber. The small boy managed to troll thousands of mindless female drones as he tweeted that his tour was cancelled, hopefully some of the little brats killed themselves in the process.
That reminds me, what day was yesterday? I have such awful memory. What day comes after Thursday but before Saturday and Sunday? If only I had a catchy song to remind me! World of Warcraft players Lane Haygood and Lusipurr were introduced to their new best buddy, Crabby the Dungeon Helper, who looks not unlike Microsoft Word’s damn annoying paper clip. Just as the paper clip, Crabby was persistent in his desire to be helpful and just when you wanted to strangle his little crustacean googly eyes out, he sealed his fate by sending users a YouTube link to the latest viral video on the soulless internet, Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” But Blizzard was not the only MMO trolling Lusipurr.com members, as I admit my own gullibility to NCSoft’s Guild Wars 2 troll. The introduction to the Commando class made me both cry and rage in despair as my beautiful fantasy landscape was ruined with helicopters and space marines, only for me to later discover that it was an elaborate hoax. Shame on me.
Finally, GameStop wants you to give them OVER 9000 dollars for their newest video game, presumably a parody of BattleToads. Nice try, GS, 2/10 trolling skills.