Good day, citizens of the Luspurr.com Fortress Slave Labor Camp! It would appear that I have been granted a position which I am to use to bring you all my opinions on the comings and goings of the gaming world, and to force upon you so-called ‘objective’ reviews on the newest (and oldest) games! How fortunate for you. Perhaps it is unfortunate? I have read posts on this website/opinion factory/inescapable prison, and I feel confident that it is the former. Of course, I was not hired because of my application. Such methods are paltry and outdated. I was hired, friends, because of my prowess in the Team Fortress 2 game, after thoroughly crushing our next newest staff member, who will of course be posting tomorrow (hopefully).
The Lusipurr.com Slave Labor community can rest easy knowing that they shall receive a steady stream of posts from this author, once per week. To those of you who donate or have donated, I can assure you that my utmost effort will be focused toward spewing the sort of content that you are looking for directly into the dumpsters of your minds. If you wish for those dumpster brains to be filled to the brim with fresh, succulent content for all time, feel free even to donate MORE money! Lusipurr has asked me to write for the site, and I do owe him for giving me this unholy writing talent!
As a child of 7, I was introduced to the gaming world as my parents purchased for myself and my sisters one SEGA Genesis device. The first game I played on this device was the laughable Jurassic Park video game. I soon became bored of this game, and my parents purchased for me a new game, called Joe and Mac. This was a rather rare game, known in arcades and Japan as Caveman Ninja. It was exactly as the secondary name suggests. Later titles included Sonic the Hedgehogs 1, 2, and 3, and (unfortunately) a Madden NFL video game.
Over time, I mooched off my neighbors to play NES games such as Super Mario Bros., Duck Hunt, Kirby’s Adventure, and Clu Clu Land. When I was a bit older, after the Game Boy Pocket was introduced, my mother found it necessary to purchase for me a set: a blue Game Boy Pocket in combination with a copy of Pokemon Blue. I became immersed in the game, and I have been a fan of the series ever since. I own at least one game from every generation of Pokemon, and have even been known to play the game competitively, both over simulators and WiFi when possible.
These days I stick mostly to RPGs. I frequently play Pokemon games, the Knights of the Old Republic games, the PS2 Kingdom Hearts games and re-releases, and World of Warcraft. I also frequent Team Fortress 2. I do occasionally play other games, such as Civilization IV, a few Final Fantasy games, Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 3, and of course, many Wii games with my girlfriend. I have played countless more, and there are few games that I have not enjoyed in some way, barring the Call of Duty and Medal of Honor series.
Of course, readers, were I you, I would not be surprised to read in my posts statements and questions and exclamations that are references to tabletop roleplaying, Futurama, or some other medium or product that I enjoy that is not related to video games. You may even find a few within this very announcement! Be prepared, readers.