News: The Neverending PSN Story


PSN is Finally Up and Running!

After three weeks of downtime and a few days of unpredictable service, it appears that Sony has finally managed to repair the damage done to them by the April attacks on the PlayStation Network. While it has not been brought back to its original capacity, PSN is up for the majority of the world and the current prediction is that the PlayStation Store will be running on the 24th. To make up for a nearly a month of downtime in which games, demos, and DLC were unavailable, Sony has said that they will be updating the store twice a week until they have caught up to where they should be, but developers have expressed concern. Many of the complaints came anonymously, but Housemarque CEO Ilari Kuittinen and Seed Studios producer Filipe Pina both echoed worries that with the updates all crushed together so quickly, less popular games may easily be swallowed up and passed over. They also raised the concern that with Sony’s Welcome Back rewards, users may be too distracted with the free games to even bother looking at the store at all, leaving a glut of games completely untouched. Regardless, some gamers find themselves wondering about earlier reports that Anonymous was going to attack once more and if it is even worth getting excited about PSN’s return if it is just going to go down again. Thus far, only a few very small attacks on Sony have been reported since PSN has gone back up; the first on Japanese ISP So-net in which 128 customers has gamer points stolen from them, and the second appearing to be an unrelated phishing scam for an Italian credit card company through Sony’s Thai servers. With any luck, these attacks will die off as well can Sony users can go back to business as usual.

Dead or Alive Helena
I did not know they wore that much clothes in this game.

Sweden Dislikes Loli Boob Physics

Nerds are shameless perverts, we all know this, so it should come as no surprise that we expected that the Nintendo 3DS would eventually give us 3D jubblies. When thinking of video games involving bouncing breasts, almost anyone who has come near a console in the past ten years will think of the titular (pun intended) series Dead or Alive. Unfortunately for gamers in Sweden, retailers have been reading the profiles of the girls featured in the boobtastic fighting game and realized that two of the game’s main characters, Kasumi and Ayame, are under eighteen years of age. Now while the fighting aspect of the game is not inherently pornographic, the upcoming entry in the series, DOA: Dimensions, features Figure Mode, in which the girls can be put into any number of revealing outfits and posed in a provocative manner for a photo shoot. Swedish retailer Bergasala says, “bork bork bork The game has not been reported to the police as far as I know…But I do know that consumers have threatened to report the game. Although that does not necessarily mean that game actually breaks any Swedish law.” While Swedish laws regarding child pornography do apply to animated characters, sources point out that Sweden’s age of consent is fifteen years of age, so why this question is being raised at all is curious.

TF2 Saxxy Award
Shiny and crotchless!

Team Fortress 2 Saxxy Awards Voting Begins

If you are not playing Team Fortress 2, what is wrong with you? Seriously, pick up a copy, man. As reported a few weeks ago, Valve recently introduced a feature for Team Fortress 2 called the replay camera. The feature does exactly as it sounds, allowing players to record and playback their gameplay and–more to the community’s interests–their kills. From “Most Epic” to “Best Revenge,” TF2 players have been competing, not only in-game but on YouTube as well, to see who can get the best ratings on their videos. Now, the competition becomes official. By going to The Team Fortress Blog and logging into their Steam account, players can vote on the video that they feel best represents the twenty categories. The winner will be rewarded with an in-game Director’s Hat, as well as what Valve calls “the most prestigious virtual award in combat filmmaking: a foot-high bust of an almost entirely naked Australian man.” No, do not gouge your eyes out quite yet; it is not Julian Taylor, false alarm. So if you play TF2, log in and vote to support the excellent fan community. If you do not play TF2, fix that problem immediately.

Adorable Loli Catgirl
Adorable Loli Catgirl

Too Much Money, Not Enough Nyan

As we know from his constant boasting, our overlord Lusipurr is in possession of an iPad 2. He is also in possession of a cat. If he wanted to be a gigantic tool and potentially ruin his expensive piece of technology, cat food maker Friskies is offering an app for that–three apps actually, all utilizing the gaming capabilities of the iPad for the pleasure of your favorite pussy. Tasty Treasures, Party Mix-Up and Cat Fishing all feature objects randomly moving around on the screen for your cat to tap on an otherwise be engaged by. I wish I could make this kind of thing up, but you can click here to see video of cats frantically batting at the iPads of people stupid enough to let an animal with claws come near their precious technology. As one of the many gamers who lost at least one controller to puppy teeth, I say no thank you.


  1. I cannot believe that there are people stupid enough to let their cats play SCRATCH THAT MOVING LIGHT with their iPad.

    Oh wait. Yes I can.

  2. I feel compelled to say that “adorable,” “loli,” and “catgirl” should never be combined in a sentence.

    Also, the age at which one can consent to sex with adults is often different than the age at which can consent to performing sexual acts for others. E.g., you can have sex with an adult in most US states earlier than 18, but not a single one of them will let you pose for Playboy before the 18th birthday.

    That said, I am a little surprised that Sweden’s obscenity laws apply to “virtual child porn,” which is not just the plot and theme of all Dead or Alive games, but also their marketing strategy. Perverts.

  3. I’m pleased that PSN will (reportedly) be up on the 24th, a full week earlier than the ‘end of the month’ which many feared.

    I’m also thrilled that they are releasing all of the backed-up content swiftly, rather than pushing the release date calendar back a full month and a half.

    Developers may groan, but they should be a bit more thoughtful. What PSN needs right now is a MOUNTAIN of new content. This may be just the ticket.

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