Before they were the familiar members of the Lusipurr.com staff that you’ve all grown to love and loathe, they were members of the public. With fresh, bright faces they queued up; eager for work, they brought applications and lists of qualifications. Some bore letters of recognition, others had nothing more than decent Team Fortress 2 skills. But all–all–had a burning desire to be verbally abused by the most autocratic, inflexible, and unapproachable man in journalism history.
Who were these men and women? Let us examine them:
Above Castle Lusipurr is Reetin, smiling down on the applicants from above,
Whilst inside the building is Lusipurr, prepared to deny or approve.
At the front of the queue was Riddles, with Ethan close by his side,
Next was Deimosion and Vicks (her new nickname a badge of pride).
Then came Emmori (with D&D bedroll), and Breaka (with ghetto-dawg bling)
And thereafter, the greatest of weeaboos: the future webmaster, RootBeerKing;
G-Lanser the Sombrero-wearing Mexican, and Blitzmage the young film director,
And the TF2 contest winner: Slab Bulkhead, a Soldier of this new business sector.
Then snuck into the queue was a Texan, who was followed closely behind by a Brit:
The artist who drew all the pictures which accompany this piece of singular wit.
Then SiliconNooB (Australian, mate), and Durga Syn with his awesome hat,
And the potato-loving Moogle, Wedge, who knows where the Great Potato is at.
The staff barrista and hipster, Enrei, whose gender is up for debate
Is followed closely by Ghaleon, whose employment was determined by fate.
At the end of the queue is Thea, whose co-founder status we applaud,
And last of all, the honourary staff member, yellow-clad, flute-tootling Bod.