What did our staff members do before they worked at Lusipurr.com? What kind of lives did they lead; what sort of ideas floated, free and liberated, inside the tiny confines of their itty-bitty minds? This week, we endeavour to trace the path of one such staff member’s life. That staff member is Reetin.
There are those who have called Reetin a ‘balloon’–and, we have discovered this week, those people are wrong. He is not a balloon; he is an inventor and gadgeteer extraordinaire, whose Patent PIBS (Personal Inflatable Balloon Shirt) system promises a bright, personally mobile future. With the pull of a cord, the PIBS (primed beforehand by the SID–the Shirt Inflation Device) inflates, allowing the wearer to take to the skies and fly, effortlessly, in the breeze.
Simply fuel the SID with your PIBS brand Tonic, and then use the SID to prepare your PIBS for flight. The moment you wish to launch, firmly pull on the launch cord. Then: up, up, and away! Literally look down upon your foes from above just as you look down upon them metaphorically! Congratulate yourself on overcoming the barrier of gravity! Know what it is to soar like an eagle! Look out for that tree!
A Patent PIBS device can be yours. Simply donate all of your money to Lusipurr.com, and then wait in your hovel. Someone may eventually come along to deliver your device. Or maybe not. Who knows? And that, as they say, is that.