Happy New Year, LusiCocks! Yes, I already wished you all a Happy New Year, but that was for an article I wrote during my yearly Holiday Hibernation, and I genuinely forget every word I wrote. For all of you who read whatever drunken garbage I half-hazardously vomited onto the soured pages of the internet, I thoroughly apologize.
But let me speak more of that coveted Holiday Hibernation. It is a relatively new tradition, but one I can now not picture my life without. It is the time when I recharge all social energy into my social energy humps that depletes over the course of the year by pretending to like people. I move into my mother’s basement and me and my brother do nothing but sleep and play video games. It is outstanding.
It is also a great opportunity to dive into my backlog or replay games that I generally do not have the time for. One year I cut a healthy chunk into Dragon Quest VIII, last year I nearly completed Final Fantasy VI for the first time, and this year I tried to platinum Final Fantasy XIII. I had to start at the beginning because of the infinite Treasure Hunter trophy, but it gave me a chance to re-evaluate my opinion on the game.
Basically I feel the exact same way about it as when I reviewed it. The only thing that has changed is that I appreciate the soundtrack more now.
Anyway, the moral of the story is that I did not platinum the game. I got damn close, but I need a break from farming giant tortoises before I take up a personal vendetta against real life turtles. It is close to happening. Also I got distracted by my brother’s copy of Assassin’s Creed 3. Who knew a game with such mediocre main missions could be so goddamned fun?
Anyway, I am wildly off course from my original planned topic. Which is that fact that since “returning to the living” – as I have been calling it – I have decided to not plug in my PS3 for the remainder of the month.
This may not be a startling decision to the fine readers of Lusipurr.com, I am not sure, but it is shocking to me. Although there are months when I play very few console games and maybe even none at all, I at least always have the possibility readily available.
The reason for this decision is in very large part due to the production of Lusipurr’s Fountain of Perpetual Disappointment. There is much to be done. Not having my one working game console plugged in is my symbolic commitment to getting a butt-load of work done on the game.
I am satisfied with the decision, but it is also a little terrifying. Ever since I bought an N64 fifteen years ago, I have had a console plugged in in my home. My PS3 is accessible, and could technically be turned on in a matter of minutes, but there is something definitive about having the system in a corner of my room instead of its usual spot near my monitor.
The next question – of course – is will this decision make a difference in my productivity? I still have my handhelds and my piano and the internet to take away my attention. And because I am an insane person, I just started yet another Final Fantasy IX playthrough. In fact, out of all my devices, my PS3 was probably used the least as a procrastination tool.
Perhaps, dear reader, the real reason for this decision is that I am using the PS3 as a bargaining tool against myself. There are many games I still want to play on the system, and if I do not allow myself to play them until I have completed sufficient work in my personal projects, it could work as a motivating factor.
Or maybe that also will not work and the idea is horrible and my dear LusiPricks just wasted their time reading the ravings of an incoherent madman. Bah-hahahahahahahaha!
On that well-concluded note, I turn my attention to all you aforementioned LusiUrinaryTracts to ask if you have tried similar experiments. Have you banned yourself from your own gaming devices before? To what benefit, if any? How badly do you feel I just wasted your time? Use a scale of Fuck You to Fuck You To Hell.