The Feminists Are Angry Again
This week saw but the latest instance of fomented feminist furor, as the sanctimonious dullards of the internet got their collective tits in a twirl about Deep Silver’s shocking mahogany towards women, by way of a dismembered necrotic female zombie bust which the studio is shipping with the Zombie Bait edition of Dead Island: Riptide. This is what happens when a population collectively forgets how to use language; scatter-brained feminists start thinking that any object depicting feminine traits constitutes female objectification, and no doubt the next stage of their penumbral putsch on Western culture will be the outlawing of female shop manikins [because sexism]. Deep Silver for their part seem to have been caught by surprise, offering a full grovelling backdown and spineless apology. Whether this will do them a single jot of good is a source of some considerable personal skepticism however, as one harbours significant doubts as to whether any of these feeble braying plaints have originated from Dead Island: Riptide‘s intended audience.
“We sincerely regret this choice. We are collecting feedback continuously from the Dead Island community, as well as the international gaming community at large, for ongoing internal meetings with Deep Silver’s entire international team today. For now, we want to reiterate to the community, fans and industry how deeply sorry we are, and that we are committed to making sure this will never happen again.”
The Dead Island: Riptide Zombie Bait edition is a silly idea to be sure, in that most of these premium editions [sans Ni No Kuni] appear to constitute a colossal squandering of money that could be better used to kindle a fire, roll into a joint, or purchase numerous cat photos from the photographer, Nate Liles. That said, there is nothing in the Zombie Bait edition that is any more or less content-appropriate than a giant Master Chief helmet was to Halo 3. This being the case, it is quite difficult so see why the shrill throngs of humourless feminists would see the Zombie Bait edition as sexually objectifying towards women, though one supposes that it is certainly a more lusty and desirable item than the average feminist, so maybe they regard it as some sort of threat? The lack of orifices may be problematic, but one could no doubt whittle a Anita Sarkeesian head for the top while sculpting a Megalissa McEwan paper-mache head for the bottom, and thereby have a cunt at each end.
NRA To Target Children, Find an Ideological Partner in NAMBLA
With the Sandy Hook shootings one month behind us it is perhaps tempting to look back to the aftermath and contend that the NRA handled that particular chestnut in the worst possible fashion – the NRA however are keen to prove that assertion woefully wrong. How wrong? Wrong enough for the NRA to dwarf their initial magnitude of bad taste and hypocrisy by this week releasing a free gun training video game on iOS, suitable for ages four and up.
NRA: Practice Range is a game which looks to introduce America’s tykes to the world of big armourments by allowing them to fire a selection of nine different firearms at virtual targets by using either gyroscopic or faux analogue controls. Interspersing this high-caliber entertainment experience will be helpful gun safety tips and a news-feed of second amendment related bulletins – because nothing says ‘children’s entertainment’ like a steady drip-feed of politically partisan news propaganda.
One must seriously contemplate whether the NRA are trolling at this point. The correct course of action for even the most ardent automatic weaponry aficionado would have been for them to hold their tongue during the direct aftermath of the Sandy Hook shootings, and then to have offered a vigourous defense of automatic weapon ownership once gun control legislation had surfaced, on the basis of second amendment precedent and the fact that automatic weaponry accounts for comparatively fewer violent deaths than conventional firearms and close-quarters weaponry. Instead the NRA attempted to blame video games for the Sandy Hook shootings, even as they rushed out their own gun propaganda video game like the pack of hypocritical weasels they are. In no way have they made any inroads in arguing their case, and worse, even some of the vaccuous drones who bought into initial NRA claims that video games were responsible for the Sandy Hook shootings must surely have been left scratching their heads at news that the NRA had produced their own child-targeted video game.
These Are Not the Queens You Are Looking For
Since the start of the current console generation Electronic Bioturds [formerly Bioware] has been relatively consistent in offering same-sex relationship options, yet their ailing single-player MMO, The Old Republic, has until now been without such provisions. Electronic Bioturds’ rationale for leaving out homosexual relationships was that homosexuality does not exist in the Star Wars universe, which [to one’s best knowledge] is a position that is validated through the consistent absence of sodomites within the Star Wars cannon, and was no doubt a stipulation insisted upon by LucasArts. After a lengthy and embittered campaign of social justice however, Electronic Bioturds reversed their position and pledged to bring gay companion characters to the world of The Old Republic.
This week Electronic Bioturds have reached out to inform their gay fans [the entire fanbase, no?] that their initial pledge of gay companion characters will involve much more work than was previously thought, but that in the interim their forthcoming expansion pack, Rise of the Hutt Cartel, will introduce the gay planet of Makeb, where gay NPCs will strike up sassy conversations replete with fruity dialogue options, which will lead to wonton and outrageous trysts and extravagant cavorting – in short, everything that a gay player could ask for save for the inclusion gay companion characters [which are still forthcoming].
Gay people are not happy however [but then what coddled minority ever is?]. Some gay people are unhappy because the expansion will not allow for the homosexual companion characters that were promised; the implementation of which has taken longer than expected to do properly. meanwhile other gay people have complained that having a gay planet amounts to sodomite segregation [would they prefer Bioware to delete it?]. While still other gays are upset on account of having to purchase an additional expansion pack in order to be massive homos, labeling Electronic Bioturds’ significant gesture as “pay to gay”.
All of this whinging and bitching begs the question of why any studio would want to hop on the politically correct merry-go-round when this is their reward. Electronic Bioturd’s The Old Republic is struggling for its very existence as a viable MMO, and yet they have nevertheless devoted considerable resources in order to appease roughly one percent of the adult population – and yet in spite of this, their initiatives have just been met with more complaining. It certainly makes one nostalgic for the days when games only had to be games, as opposed to serving as the crystalised social conscience of Western self-loathing.