Editorial Miscellany: An Old Classic

Just finding the tone, guys.
Paul Giamatti in Toronto to promote Editorial Miscellany

Hello LusiFinalBosses. It is yet another Tuesday so it is time for yet another edition of Editorial Miscellany. Yes, that moment when every wide-eyed internet-bumpkin gathers in front of his internet-computer screen and enters Ye Olde Refreshe Browser Code frantically and without pause until I finally post this celebrated and storied column.

This week I played Pokémon X, Tales of Xillia, and …Wii Fit??!!? Oh yes, it is a wonderful week for gaming rambles.

Tales Drops XII, Picks Up XIII

I mentioned last week that the world of Tales of Xillia reminded me of Final Fantasy XII. Not so much the lore and in-game architecture, but rather the way the developers decided to lay out the maps. A traditional overworld is replaced with vast plains of connected maps including areas that appear optional. It is a technique that I adore about XII, and one I certainly appreciate about Xillia although it is not executed with the same level of mastery.

However, the past few hours of gameplay have made this most recent Tales game take on a new sort of imitation. I was not surprised to reach a point at which instant travel was disabled and I was forced to travel in a more linear fashion. It is an old RPG standby at this point to put the blinders on for focused lead-ups to a climactic section of the game, so I was not fazed. However, after one climactic build, another one followed. I finished another isolated section before finishing off yet another boss (while also annoyingly missing half my party) only to find that the tunnel was not finished yet.

Yes, the vast beautiful openness had managed to transition to a Final Fantasy XIII-esque tunnel. It is an homage I am not nearly as fond of, especially when the Xillia battle system – decent as it is – pales in comparison to what is XIII‘s greatest strength. I am currently on the fifth leg of the tunnel and I truly hope it is the final one.

Mantine Cannot Learn Fly?!??!

What the pfargtl? As badass as my Talonflame is, its secondary type is unfortunately redundant. My starter is a dual Psychic/Fire type, and I have no intention to remove him from my party. So when I caught a Mantyke, I became giddy at the thought of finding a cool and powerful replacement that would also take care of the fact that my party is currently missing a Water type.

BUT NOPE.

Mantyke and its evolution Mantine cannot learn the HM Fly despite being half Flying type. It is probably the most trivial thing I have ever complained about (which is saying something), but I am annoyed nonetheless. The search continues.

Actually, it's Wii Fit Plus.
*Psst*, I hear Ethan uses Wii Fit. Whatta douche!

So… Guys… What Is the Gossip?

Matt Dance suggested that this should become a gossip column. And as we all know, what Matt Dance wants, Matt Dance gets. So… Guys… What is the gossip? Comment below and I will discuss next week. Let us create something out of nothing.

Wait, Wii Fit?

Damn right, Wii Fit! My girlfriend just got benefits, and it turns out that Wii Fit and the balance board is covered, so she bought it and we both started up profiles. I am horrendously out of shape, so while Wii Fit is not going to magically transform me into Jason Derulo, it does feel good to not have “I walk a lot” be my only defense against becoming a giant. And that is important because my hyper-metabolism is also no longer a factor. The personal benefit for using Wii Fit instead of doing normal workouts like normal people, is that I get stats and routines to choose from. If I was by myself in a gym, I would probably do more harm than good. Also, I never want to go to a gym.

From a gamer standpoint, the game is trite and cutesy, but as somebody who would like to be able to live to thirty, it is actually a pretty useful tool. If nothing else, it is the only thing that has ever made me look forward to working out.

Radiant Historia

Where my JRPG lovers at? Have any of you played this? My brother says it is really good, but he also says that Final Fantasy X is amazing, so I want a second opinion. I do not really need to add another RPG to my backlog, but I am addicted to the openings of RPGs.

Well that is it for today. That was my week in the world of gaming. What was yours?

13 comments

  1. Dear Ethos,

    I am tired, hungry, and overworked. What should I do?

    Sincerely,

    Overworked Dictator

  2. Dear Overworked Dictator,

    Your letter has been added to our archives and will be answered in a future edition. In the meantime, I suggest eating, sleeping, and mocking your faithful employees who will accept the abuse in an effort to support you. I also suggest a Gin & Tonic (the capitalized sort).

    Sincerely,

    Ethos

  3. “Ethos plays Wii Fit” is kind of gossipy. “Blitzmage spends 8 hours daily polishing his golden shoes” would be another sort of gossip.

  4. Ethan’s Gossip Corner: Where each week he reveals one digit of his own credit card number! Scintillating!

    Also, big ups to the Homestar reference. I miss that shit.

    Also also, when you mentioned Radiant Historia I thought you meant Radiata Story, which I recall awful things about. Radiant Historia, however, I’ve heard very good things about but have not played (since I only recently got a 3DS and before that only had a GBC). I have also heard this game takes time to get interesting, so it might not be a great pick if you don’t intend to finish it or put a lot of time into it at least.

  5. Radiant Historia is great. I have a bad case of Sabinitis (Gameous Nofinishous) and I actually finished that one, if that tells you anything. The battle system was pretty cool.

  6. @Dance – I tried to make the former into gossip via the picture caption. Maybe the pictures will be like gossip stones.

    @Mel – Hang around me for 2 hours and you’ll never want to hear a Homestar reference again. I am composed of them. Also, Radiata Stories is great. It’s similar in that it takes some time to get interesting. It’s an unusual tone for an RPG, so I understand why people were turned away and especially why it didn’t sell well, but I think it is drastically under-appreciated.

    @DA – Good to know. Perhaps when I finish Tales of Xillia, I’ll pick it up.

    @Lusipurr – Tits.

  7. @Ethos: What do you think this is, a diaper show? Because it’s not a diaper show.

  8. To wit – when reached for comment, the lady gave us this statement: “Pierson ‘Blitzmage’ Stone’s hiphoppish obsession with expensive and finely wrought footwear knows no bounds. Finally I got fed up, and gave him an ultimatum – ‘It’s either me or the shoes!’ But even as the words were leaving my mouth, I knew which he’d already chosen.”

  9. @Mel – I’ll take it! I’ll take twelve! Drive one home today

    @Julian – Right now it does feel like an unholy mashup of Scatter Storming and Q&A, but the column is in its infancy. I want both the readers and Paul Giamatti to sculpt the tone of this beast.

  10. Just dial 555-5-555-8-5-5555-Senor-Mortgage-Today. And remember, you’ll paste away if you Dinty Moore.

  11. Ethos, Radiant Historia isn’t as good as you want it to be. It is certainly not worth the price that it’s at. I’ve never played it, and barely know anything about it, so logically my opinion is worth more on the matter because it is less tainted by mediocrity (which is a complete assumption on my part). Go with your gut on this one – you’ve figured it out vis à vis your brother.

    By the way, have you noticed, “It’s fine now!”

Comments are closed.