Editorial: Bup’s Adventures in Garry’s Mod Part 2: Bup the Killer

Garry’s Mod Dark Role-Play is one of the most creative games I have ever played. In this game mode, the player is meant to log into a server, choose a job and role-play as that person. Typical jobs include mayor, law enforcement officers, thieves, terrorists, gun dealers, and medics. While it is fun to play the game as it is meant to be played, it is just as fun to “troll” those who take the game much too seriously. These are the stories of my time on the various servers of Garry’s Mod Dark Role-Play. In this installment I take a job as a “Contract Killer” and have to kill whomever others want me to.

Not a face you want to see pointing a gun at you.
Not a face you want to see pointing a gun at you.

Life is hard in the big city for anyone, but especially for those with certain skills deemed not quite legal by the government. In the army I was taught how to kill without remorse, but I was never taught how to get on with my life after my military time was completed. Everyone has an enemy; the thief who robbed your store, the mafia member who shook you down for the last $500 in your wallet, or the hobo who just will not stop pestering you for a hand out. That is why I took the job of “Contract Killer” for the citizens of the city. I can usually handle the jobs that come my way, but that all changed when I was hired to eliminate a Prostitute who went by “SugerTits III.”

Of course I knew who SugarTits III was. Everyone did. Almost everyone in the city had “visited” her at one point, including myself. In a city where people change careers more than they change clothes it is hard to trust anyone. Your friendly, local Bank Owner could disappear and in his place is a Gangster trying to extort you for money. However, one person always stayed the same: SugarTits III was always who you went for when you needed comfort, and that made this job harder than the others. In my line of work a job is a job, and lately they have not been coming around too often. So when a Citizen named Slender came to me with the job, I stocked up on a weapon and went to work finding my prey.

The target herself....
The target herself….

SugarTits III spent most of her time in the industrial area of the city. Maybe it was because the stink from the factories made her forget all the things she had to do with her “clients” in order to survive in this harsh world. Maybe it was because that is where all the new players spawned in so it got the most traffic. Maybe it was just because the residents of the other areas would not let her stay. I tried to keep thoughts like this out of my head. It is never a good idea for those in my line of work to get too close or attached to our targets. They were not even people in our eyes, just a way to survive. I shook my head hoping these thoughts would fall out and that is when I saw her. Standing there like without a care in the world and talking to newly spawned player. I pulled my rifle out, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger. With one fatal shot she was no more.

RIP "SugerTits III."
RIP “SugerTits III.”

I wanted to go up to her body. I wanted to take her hand in mine like I had a hundred times before and tell her that I was sorry before her shallow breathing came to an end. I wanted to kiss her lips a final time before she left me forever, but I knew all of these actions would just land me in jail. The city’s Police Chief had heard the shot and was already running down a nearby tunnel to investigate the scene. I slipped into one of the many dark alleyways that scattered the city and vanished. I did not even turn around to say one last silent goodbye. I had only taken a few steps when I heard “Hey! Stop!” coming from behind me.

I turned and found myself face-to-face with a Police Officer brandishing his pistol. I only had one option: I turned around and ran as fast as I could. The Officer fired at me but he was either a bad shot or a huge lag spike hit his computer because he missed me with an entire clip. I took the brief opportunity I had while he was reloading and fired on him, killing him almost instantly. I ran away while hearing his shouts of “RDM!” trailing in the distance. I made it back to my office without any other troubles, locked the door and stared out my window that overlooked the downtown area. I did what I always did in my free time: I waited for the next person who needed to be killed.


  1. “but that all changed when I was hired to eliminate a Prostitute who went by “SugerTits III.”” is one of the great surprise plot twists in the history of Western Literature.

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