Editorial: Amazing Steam Greenlight Projects

In recent years the indie game industry has become huge and the digital distribution service Steam has made it even easier for people to decide what games should be made with what they call “Greenlight.” For those unaware, Greenlight basically allows potential developers to post their projects online, including any trailers or screenshots, and Steam users vote on what should be funded and turned into actual playable software. Sometimes, as is the case in The Stanley Parable or 7 Days to Die , really good games get funded. However, there are always some stinkers in the mix and here I have listed a couple of ones I feel are the worst.

I am Nate. I am poop.
More like “Poopy Kart,” amirite?

Poppy Kart

Okay, the first thing I want to say is that Poppy Kart is NOT a Mario Kart rip off. The titular character Poppy TOTALLY does not look like Princess Leia had sex with a Koopa Troopa. Also, the tracks are 100% NOT reskins of Mario Kart for the SNES tracks. First off, it actually has a story where the player must find the runaway girl named Froggy. Seriously. That is the first thing the “developer,” Webrox, feels that potential fans would need to know. Not only that, but Webrox also wants to let people know that “All the blows are allowed.” What that exactly means, I am really not sure, but they ARE allowed. I know we were all extremely worried about only a fraction of our blows being allowed. Another screenshot advertises an actual “Poppywood script,” which I think is like Bollywood only with many more high frogs and racist, Mexican rats. Hey, do not take it from me, just listen to Steam user “GabeUnit96” when he commented with: “its a rip off of mario kart but its a good rip off i would love to see this game be release i would get this right away.” 10/10

I am Nate. I am super poop.
HEY GUYS LOOK WHAT I DID IN MS PAINT!

Spectrum

Hey, who likes games that look like someone spent five minutes in MS Paint creating the art for it and it is not clear exactly what the game is about and what to do? Everybody? In that case, then everybody will love Spectrum by “KanjiKad BRO”! Not only can the player do something with paint that makes the moronic in-game character do something that makes no sense, but it also comes with a level editor! Now players can make levels for a game they did not want to even play in the first place! This game also features MULTIPLE endings actually based off what the player does during the game and NOT what choice he or she makes at the very end. Hear that, EA? Spectrum is a better game than the entire Mass Effect series! Here is a quote from one of Spectrum’s biggest fans “Mike:” “this game looks like trash sorry.” 666/10

Poopy poopy poopy poop.
It’s cool that I can read and understand everything on the screen.

Diggle

Ever wanted to play a game that was a worse-looking rip off of a game that was kind of a ripoff of another game that does not look that good to begin with? Thank the heavens, because Diggle is that very game! The first thing “Werven,” the creator of the game, wants potential fans to know is that this is NOT a finished product. Forget the horrible drawing being used as a front image, forget the impossible to read menu screen in the screenshots, forget that this game was added to Greenlight in August of 2012. Werven IS hard at work on this soon-to-be smash hit. In fact, just recently on “9/14” he improved on the backgrounds! Werven is SO talented that he traveled in time to September of 2014 and worked on the game! Wow! This game is so popular that a thread in its discussion forums has described it as a “WoW Killer.” Diggle is hyper-realistic as well. The player can customize everything having to do with the hero character at any time, including his or her skin color. The only thing not customizable is the hero’s sex, because a man is BORN a man and NOTHING can change that. Steam user “Saber1014534” put it best: “All the money spent on this game was probably used hiring new alpha testers after the previous bunch commited a muder suicide.” 420/10

5 comments

  1. I think you should spend more time reviewing Steam Greenlight titles.

  2. @Nate- Do you realize that you are in a situation that can result proving Lusipurr wrong about something? And that has never happened before :O . Are you ready to prove everyone (but specially lusipurr) wrong?

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