Editoral: Awesome (Not) Steam Greenlight Games, Part 2

Bioshock, Final Fantasy VI, and The Legend of Zelda. All are considered some of the greatest games ever made. The ones mentioned in the following article are not even close. They are some of the worst trash you will ever see. However, I should note that like my other articles in this series all my judgements are based off the screenshots and the descriptions of the games alone. I have not played these and I never want to. They look horrible. I beg of all “indie” developers reading this: PLEASE stop making these games. I want to stop writing these articles and actually enjoy my life. Thank you.

I make fart.
I am Nate.

FSX Live
Does anybody really enjoy staring at maps? Does anybody really enjoy tracking their flights? Is anybody really too stupid or confused to use the flight tracker installed in most airlines these days? If there is (and there is not) then FSX Live is a game with a purpose! To be honest, I am not really sure if it is even a game. I think it may just be some software to track flights? I do not really know, nor do I really care. This game/program/crap looks awful and why the “developer” would need backing to create something so awful is beyond me. The internet is the worst.

815/10
Best Comment: MaxTro9in: “n”

What is even happening in this picture?!
The best punk killing simulator ever!

Chipsse Solid 3: The Green Adventure
I… I do not even know what to say this this one. Just read the first line of the game’s description: “Chipsse Solid 3: The Green Adventure is an artistic game which presents a personal vision of the fact what is the search for Graphic designer for a project of game.” Oh okay. I guess that makes sense… FOR AN INSANE PERSON. This game further proves my theory that all indie video game developers are just mentally insane people waiting to break down. I have a strong feeling that the developer of Chipisse 3, Chidonkai, could easily fill the positions in a real game development studio with his different personalities.

69 Personalities/10
Best Comment: Therapist: “This game’s visuals make Crysis’ look like a 4 year old’s drawings! 7/11!”

Why would you even make a game like this now?
THIS IS NOT DOOM OR QUAKE, OKAY?!

In The Kingdom
Oh, awesome! The new Doom game! Oh, it is not? It must be a new Quake game, right? No? Okay, okay. It HAS to be a new Duke Nukem game. No?! You mean this is just another horrible, out-dated game that some idiot indie “studio” thinks people will actually want to spend money on? Surely they would not have spent the 100 USD to post this on Steam Greenlight, right? Oh, they did? Oh… okay. The. Internet. Is. The. Worst.

Nate/Butts
Best Comment: Nate: “I am a butt with lots of farts.”

3 comments

  1. @Lusi: Sorry, there are no Ns. Would you like to solve the puzzle?

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