Editorial: Awesome (Not) Steam Greenlight Games, Part 5

Very funny.
Spank My Bunny. Get it?

Do I really need an intro on these anymore? These games are crap, Steam Greenlight is crap, everything is horrible. Life is horrible. Ugh.

Spank my Bunny

“Heh heh, what if, like, you had a Tamagatchi but, like, it was totally rude and crude? Heh heh, with, like, farts and beer and totally cool stuff like that. That would be, like, totally awesome, right?”

I am 100% positive that is the exact thing the creator of this game said to his friends in fourth period English class when he thought up this game. I guess the player raises some sort of bunny creature, but it looks like more Ren from Ren and Stimpy. Except with really crappy art. In fact, the “bunny” on the game’s cover art image looks nothing like the actually bunny in the game. This is not even the fully version of the game, but an alpha version the “developer” decided to post on Greenlight. If you are going to make a garbage game, at least finish the game first. I wonder how many masturbation innuendos will be in the final version.

Score: Bud Light/10
Best Comment: Randy Butternobs: “Spank it!”

At least the graphics are good.


So, I guess in this game the player plays as a cube in the year 2333. Then, uh, the cube, er, blows something up? At one point it becomes a tank, I suppose? The cube can also transform into various other vehicles and “render shadows.” Like many of these games I have absolutely no clue what is supposed to be happening or how one even plays the game. I also have no clue why the “developer” feels this is a concept that the general public would be interested in. I also have a feeling the person who made the game knows how big a pile of garbage it is, so they did not even release a game play video in the description. However, I am really excited to play the “Factoey” part of this game!

Score: Hexahedron/10
Best Comment: pitbull3396: “hahaahahah. what is this?”

Get over yourself, Black Watchmen
This game is so bad that the picture goes past the text.

The Black Watchmen

Wow. Racist. I did not really think we needed a black version of The Watchmen, but okay. Whatever.

Score: Blacula/10
Best Comment: BreakfastϟAlcohol: “This looks a little… illumi-Nutty.”


Comments are closed.