Editorial: Awesome (Not) Steam Greenlight Games, Part 6

Lusipurr’s recent very depressing podcast post made me think about suicide, namely Lusipurr’s own suicide. What would we do if he left us tomorrow? I for one would be very sad, as I sure as heck do not want to deal with the crap associated with running this site. I thought about this situation long and hard and that is why this post is late. It is not because I totally forgot I am posting on a weekly basis now. I thought about suicide long and hard and then I found a really horrible Steam Greenlight game to make fun of for you wonderful people! Kiss it!

Shoulda taken that left at Albuquerque!
It’s cool that the developer took his map ideas from Looney Toon cartoons.

Suicide Guy
You know you are in for a great game when the very first line of the description reads: “In this game…you’ll figure out what to do.” No, that is for you as the developer to tell the potential voters about. I mean, eventually we will figure out how to play the game, but usually one would include a tutorial or maybe a description of the goals of the game. The developer then immediately explains that the player is meant to commit suicide in this game, but it is not meant to offend anyone. You know, suicide is totally not a touchy subject with a lot of people. Anyone who has a loved one who commits suicide is 100% fine with someone making an entertainment software out of the subject. Oh, but don’t worry: if you feel offended you can contact the creator and they will change the game to suit you. How about changing the game so it does not come out at all? I think the more offensive part of this game is that it was made using the Unity Engine. For those who do not know the Unity Engine is a FREE to download piece of software that allows 12-year-olds to make a game about Slenderman or a Minecraft clone or a game where Mario and Sonic use the F-word a lot or whatever. Any way you look at it, this game is garbage and the developer is human garbage.


  1. Someone needs to make Robin Williams Simulator 2014! :D

    @Lusi: Is he the guy who goes around selling artificial sugar substitutes? o_O

  2. Another fine dingleberry freshly plucked from Gaben’s beard.

  3. I’d be surprised if Slenderman isn’t in the next Smash Bros. game.

  4. I think Slenderman is the only character in the next Smash Bros. game, actually.

  5. @Lusi: No, that’s SplendaMan.

    @Ethos: No, that’s Pac-Man.

  6. Sometimes I wonder if the people who make these games read my articles and cry. I hope so. They deserve it.

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