Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 18

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha. Yes.

Imagine making money from... THIS!
DO IT! JUMP! PLEASE!

Blood Bank

Actually, according to the game’s description, the full title of this game is Blood Bank FPS/TPS Make money by playing! More commonly known as “complete and utter garbage.” Basically the point of this game is the player puts real money in and supposedly gains real money from killing other players. This would actually be a decent concept, if this game was developed by a company with a lot of revenue and not some anti-social nerd in his basement. Essentially what will happen with this game is a few people will pump their hard-earned cash into it, with little to no payout. Might as well just go gambling at a casino. At least there there is the chance of being propositioned by a sweaty, drug-addled prostitute.

Score: Blood Banks Are Vampire Ponzi Schemes/10

Best Comment: Drugs: “free”

Wow, Minecraft Creepers have even made their way into this game's world...
Oh no! It is a… uh, something?

Monster Shock

As I enjoy doing from time to time, I am just going to riff on some of the “features” listed in game’s description as a “review.” “Random generation of the environment and game situations, offering unlimited replayability and unpredictable gameplay. You won’t play the same game twice!” No, I have played this game a million times before. This is just a crappier version of it. Next! “Advanced visual effects…” Hahahaha! They are kidding me, right? Has the developer of this game even looked at some of the screenshots he posted? The graphics in this game look like the tech demo to a first generation PlayStation One game. “Full steam integration (achievements, trading cards etc.)” “Oculus Rift support.” Cool, always make sure to have these in a game that nobody will play in the first place. Seriously, I cannot wait for the Oculus Rift to stop being a thing. ATTENTION GAME DEVELOPERS: STOP TRYING TO MAKE THE OCULUS RIFT A THING. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

Score: Queen Bee/10

Best Comment: Ron Mexico: “Ron Mexico approves of this game,, fo sho…”

I really hope this is a joke.
NEW WORLD ORDER COMIN’ AT YA!

Meme Run

Hmmm, not really sure what this game is about. Might as well read the description… Oh. Oh wait. “Stop reading if you are not a member of the illuminati. This is an encrypted message for illuminati members only:” Nevermind. I guess I will never learn about this game! Trollface.jpg. Scumbag Steve. Sweg. Rekt. Dank Memes. I hate the internet.

Score: Dank-Ass Memes/10

Best Comment: Zach Mat: “8/8 needs more dank MLG memes Bruh”

10 comments

  1. Oculus Rift – because the only thing better than playing a game with ugly arse graphics, is playing a game with ugly arse graphics with the screen pressed right up to your face!

  2. “Seriously, I cannot wait for the Oculus Rift to stop being a thing.”

    Bad news, my friend. It is going to get worse this year, as a few different companies are crapping out more headsets. I’ve got a spare bottle of Jameson if you need a friend while watching the world burn.

  3. Meme Run looks like an internet salad. I think it’s liable to give you food poisoning.

  4. Eventually, they will ‘release’ the Oculus Rift. Talking heads will enthuse about it for 4-6 months–the very same ones who enthused about 3D televisions.

    And then, like 3D televisions, the Oculus Rift will fade away into nothingness, and be gone.

  5. And then, much like 3D televisions, something else just as dumb will replace it as the new “it” thing.

  6. ToastVision. Allows you to smell toast whilst watching programmes. Just toast–no other smells. Only works on programmes which involve toast.

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