News: Chaos in Australia as Uncensored Saints Row Ships to Retail

This Koala was later buggered to death by impressionable Australians.

Won’t somebody think of the Koalas?!

MORAL THREAT: Australian Gaming Community Aghast as Innocent Gamers Are Exposed to Uncensored Filth!

Tragedy has struck the land down under this past week, with PS4 versions of Saints Row IV: Re-Elected shipping to retail channels in an unaltered state, despite the fact that the vanilla version of the game features content that is inappropriate for consenting Australian adults. The original version of Saints Row IV had been refused classification in Australia due to depictions of sexual violence in the form of an alien anal-probe gun. Clearly any Australian adults to witness such shocking content would come to consider that such comical forms of assault constitute perfectly acceptable public behaviour, and would likely pursue a spate of anal attacks!

Luckily the powers that be have caught on to this mix-up with a certain degree of alacrity, and all Australian versions of Saints Row IV: Re-Elected are in the process of being recalled, and presumably destroyed, as is proper for such morally dubious content. Meanwhile, any PS4 gamers unlucky enough to have purchased an unaltered version of the game are being urged to surrender their copy to the place of purchase for a full refund. Deep Silver have promised that legitimate Australian copies with the approved content are on order, and will arrive at Australian retail in short order.

A manufacturing issue has caused an incorrectly classified version of Saints Row IV: Re-Elected for our territory to be released. This strictly affects PlayStation 4 retail versions.

All customers who have purchased the PlayStation 4 version of Saints Row IV: Re-Elected are encouraged to return to their retailer for a full refund.

Replacement copies with the correct content are on order and will arrive with retailers soon.

All is well that ends well one supposes. Thanks to Deep Silver’s quick response to this dreadful mistake one now only has a moderate fear of being assaulted with an anal penetration weapon when leaving the house. Thanks be to Australia for keeping us all safe!

WHY?!?!

They sure can!

Dick Wolf [the Man, Not the Rape Beast] Takes His Turn Slandering Gamers

Ever since gamers decided to reject the nepotism and social engineering incumbent to the leftist game media, and said media promptly declared gamers to be dead in a Darwin Award winning performance of blithering idiocy, traditional media has been in its element. Old media is never happier than when portraying gaming as a deviant act [paying little heed to the fact that it is now more economically significant than Hollywood], and then suddenly they had the journalists covering the games industry claiming that gamers were violent and potentially rapey harassers of women and minorities. Never mind the fact that the slander stemming from games media mostly consisted of unsubstantiated nonsense and bald faced lies, old media was inclined to be none too picky now that they had a narrative they could work with. Cue countless derivative hit-pieces depicting gamers in the grimmest of terms. It was perhaps inevitable that, given the predilections of old media, the battle for the soul of our industry would turn into the hottest ticket in town. Gamer depictions in traditional tabloid rags is one thing, but when a thoroughly cucked Stephen Colbert hung on Anita Sarkeesian’s every word in front of a gormless and witless audience, that was when this conflict really came of age. This week it would seem that Dick Wolf’s Law and Order: Professional Special Victims Unit is about to take its pound of flesh from gamers as it prepares to unveil its predictably blatant take on the GamerGate controversy.

In the episode entitled ‘Intimidation Game‘, which is set to air on February eleven, events focus around an Indian [dots, not feathers] American woman who is on the verge of releasing an MMO. Because she is about to release a game and is also a woman the gaming community at large starts haranguing her with all manner of vile threats on account of the perception that she has slept her way to the top. Things take a turn for the sinister when a female employee of hers is assaulted at a gaming convention, and the episode allegedly comes to a head when she is abducted by gamers – because that is totally in keeping with documented GamerGate tactics. It is not about ethics in journalism, it is about kidnapping and very probably rape!

THE VIRTUAL WORLD BECOMES REALITY WHEN A VIDEO GAME CONVENTION TURNS INTO A CRIME SCENE

Video game developer Raina Punjabi (guest star Mouzam Makkar) solidifies the launch of her first game amid a stream of online insults, intimidation and death threats from the male-dominated gaming community. When a female employee is assaulted at a gamer convention, Detective Tutuola (Ice-T) investigates the crime but Raina refuses to delay the launch, and the cops must “level up” to protect her. Also starring Mariska Hargitay (Sgt. Olivia Benson), Kelli Giddish (Det. Amanda Rollins) and Peter Scanavino (Det. Dominick Carisi Jr.). Guest starring Peter Mark Kendall (Steven Kaplan), Susannah Flood (Sarah Keller) and Griffin Matthews (Leslie Connolly).

The inspiration for the female game developer is pretty obvious, as she is one part Anita Sarkeesian, one part Zoe Quinn, and one part racial minority [there is not really an Anti-GamerGate parallel for the latter, seeing as every social justice warrior to a man seems to be uniformly Anglo]. Understandably, the self-declared enemies of gaming are celebrating this as another win in their propaganda war, yet one must question their reckoning. While they will no doubt succeed in once again making the gaming community look bad [for all the good that will do them], the rub is that they will succeed in making the gaming community look bad. For a group of people claiming to want greater diversity within the gaming scene, they are certainly doing everything within their power to ensure that a male dominated console gaming industry becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for yet another generation.

Press 'X' to stick a finger in her arse.

Where is the ‘Donkey Punch’ option?

The Fuck?!

Really? Really?! I never asked for this. If Capcom were scraping the barrel with a HD remaster of DmC, then what could be said of Quantic Dreams and faux game director cum frustrated filmmaker David Cage’s decision to remaster the single worst non-game they have ever produced, Indigo Prophecy / Farenheit, for a new generation to suffer through. At least they had the good grace to appear somewhat sheepish about dumping this abortion on Steam, as evidenced by the way in which the game was released without any sort of fanfare for the budget price of ten dollars. Nonetheless, the asking price still seems too high for a non-game with an entertainment value that is easily eclipsed by your average early access title.

Originally released in 2005, Fahrenheit (known as Indigo Prophecy in North America) was a breakthrough in interactive narrative, teetering between the worlds of cinema and gaming while also embracing them, carving its own unique genre in the entertainment landscape. This newly remastered edition features updated graphics, full controller support AND is based on the uncut/uncensored international version of the game.

With a rich multilayered narrative, innovative presentation, and a chilling musical score by famed Hollywood composer Angelo Badalementi, Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered serves as the definitive version of the supernatural murder mystery and (re)introduces the groundbreaking title to old and new fans alike.

Gamers have never experienced a QTE shitfest until they have played through this poorly written pile of garbage. What is utterly inexplicable about the decision to remaster Indigo Prophecy, is the fact that it was selected ahead of the infinitely superior title, Omikron: The Nomad Soul. Then Again, Indigo Prophecy has more polygons than that title, so it is clearly superior on the emotional front.

6 comments on “News: Chaos in Australia as Uncensored Saints Row Ships to Retail”

  1. I really can’t see why the people that bought Saints Row IV is going to return the game knowing that the game is unaltered and ready to play as it was intended o.O . I can see the game being sold on australian ebay and becoming very expensive though.

    Great article SiliconNooB

  2. I bought Indigo Prophecy for my brother for his birthday without knowing what it was. It just looked interesting, and I needed something to get him… It wasn’t until much later I knew what I had done.

    I’m sorry.

  3. Yes, but I gather there’s an unspoken agreement to never mention the incident.

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