Zestria Tower No. 1, Zestria Dr.
Zestria™ville (formerly Topeka), KS
Her Majesty’s American Colonies
WHEREAS Christopher ‘Sabine’ Privateer hath in DIVERS AND SUNDRY WAYS flounted the GOODWILL, GENEROSITY, and CHARITABLE NATURE of the READERSHIP of Lusipurr.com; and,
WHEREAS the said Christina hath SCORNED the acts of CHARITY expressed by the aforesaid site with regard to the DELIVERY of one (1) block of refined Zestria™ (the revolutionary new additive that simply everyone is talking about!), weight fifty pounds (50lb), by REFUSING the said delivery attempt by the UNITED PARCEL SERVICE of Sandy Springs, Georgia; and,
WHEREAS the said Chrissy remaineth UNREPENTANT and persisteth in CHURLISH hostility to our EXPANSIVE and EVER-GROWING readership;
Lusipurr.com has no alternative but to declare WAR upon the aforesaid Chrissa, with immediate effect.
Given this day by my hand,
17 March 2015
God Save the Queen!