Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 21

Another slew of horrible Steam Greenlight games have been released, and I am here to “review” them. As always these “reviews” are written with a complete bias and without actually playing the games in question. Enjoy!

Don't do drugs, kids!
Heheheh let’s home these are “magic” mushrooms!

Loneliness

Imagine if there is a game with really bad graphics that allowed the player to explore a city devastated by a nuclear explosion. Imagine if those graphics are really terrible and the gameplay is incredibly boring. Imagine if it was made in Poland so all the English was translated using Google Translator. Well, imagine no more because this game actually exists! Since it is Polish it probably has some message about Chernobyl or something like that. Something that warns the player of the dangers of nuclear power or some hippie crap like that. I am American, so I do not really care about what happens outside of my country.

Best Comment: greentree534: “I like Adventure horror game.. good”

I LOVE MINECRAFT CLONES!!!!
Finally. Minecraft with guns!

Bomb Wars

Hmmmm. This game looks familiar. I just cannot put my finger on it. It looks like a game in which the player crafts, but he or she also mines. Would any of my dear readers help out with this? A game where the player mines and then crafts. Oh, I remember now! This game is just a crappy Minecraft clone with guns! It is like a 15-year-olds wet dream! Wait, I am getting some breaking news now. Oh, a game like this already exists called Ace of Spades? So, this game is a clone of a clone of Minecraft with guns added just to get those Call of Duty players to buy it too? Well, this IS Steam Greenlight, so nothing should surprise at this point.

Best Comment: Knights: “Don’t worry everyone this will never make it to steam so just no/thanks it and you’ll win!”

Silent Night, Deadly Night.
GARBAGE DAY!!!!!

Garbage Day

I am pretty sure this game is based off a scene from a crappy horror movie called Silent Night, Deadly Night. Even if it is not, this game is horrible and I wish I could throw it out on actual garbage day. I wish I could throw all of Steam Greenlight out on garbage day. I wish I could throw my horrible existence out and start over… on garbage day….

Best Comment: Jhaymes: “So um… why is the Win 98 machine in a Mac shell? :)”

6 comments

  1. I no longer believe these are games that exist for purchase. These are things that you made yourself in a 3D rendering tool in five minutes.

  2. You saw the comment, Bup, your scores are too informative for you to just go cutting from each review!

  3. Nuke Inc. New Kink. Huh. Oh, wait, that’s an arm reaching toward the goose…thing.

  4. 7thCircle didn’t believe in review scores until he read my 11 out of 5 review of Final Fantasy XI: Wings of the Goddess. The score was so informative that he swore never again to read a review without one.

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