Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 23

Another week of horrible Steam Greenlight games. Another week of pondering my horrible existence. As always, these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the games in question. Enjoy!

Voxel Bup Wishes He Could Die
Looks like Hitler turned on Big Head Mode.

Voxel Hitler Must DIE

This “amazing” game allows the player to control a horse armed with swords on a mission to kill Adolf Hitler. Apparently it is also based off a true story? I think the only thing true here is that Hitler was a real person. I also do not think Hitler had such a large head. Maybe he did. I am not a historian. I do know that this game was made in Unity, and is therefore a pile of steaming garbage that should never see the light of day. Why does this game even exist? A horse on a quest to kill Hitler? This world is terrible.

Best Comment: Lizardeye: “Have you ever played a good or decent game? Does your game look or feel like that? No, well stop then.”

I wish it was acid rain so this game would dissolve.
Sweet bike, brah!

Raining Dead

I feel like this is one of those many Steam Greenlight games that is a clone of another popular game. Oh, wait this is basically just a crappy version of Hotline Miami with zombies. This game is complete garbage, but because it has zombies in it all the teenagers that flock to Steam Greenlight will be all into this trash. Zombies are over, people. They were over with about four years ago, yet people keep trying to make them a “thing.” I hate zombies. I hate everything.

Best Comment: RayRayRay: “Postal had better graphics. Damn, many SNES games had better graphics. So you couldnt make a good video with appropriate framerate because the game is unoptimised, could you?”

A kaleidoscope has less going on than this screenshot.
Well, this sure is a picture of something!

BruhAdventure

So, this is a game where the player… wait. Wait a second. “Farting is not gross…” What? “Toilets are everywhere…” WHAT? “Fart all you want…” WHAT?! I take everything I ever said bad about Steam Greenlight back! This is the BEST GAME EVER! I think we just found a strong contender for Game of the Year 2015! Farting is awesome!

Best Comment: I’m noob SP: “WTF is this ? ill not pay for this shit.”

6 comments

  1. “But anyways thanks for the comments of stuff i need to improved (Alot xD) but anyways i’m sorry for people thinking that all you do is walk around and fart.” – IsaiahStudios on BruhAdventure

    Lost my vote.

  2. The picture of the Hitler’s Adventure game made me think of Commander Keen for some reason, the Bike Simulator reminded me of Chip’s Challenge somehow, and Bruh looks like it’s inspired by Earthbound, and those are some great games, so this ended up being a pretty good round-up.

  3. “Don’t touch the brown potato that comes out of you” might be the greatest signpost in any game ever.

  4. It occurs to me that none of us have been double checking to see if these are real games on Steam or if Bup is creating “screenshots” in MS Paint and talking about them.

    …..I’d actually buy an MS Paint drawing from Bup before I’d buy a Greenlight game, so maybe it doesn’t matter.

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