Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 26

I love all my dear readers so much that I took some time off from playing a great game, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, to write about all these crappy games I would never touch with a 10 foot mouse cord! As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the games in question. Enjoy!

Gimme all da beers!
Is a twin convention in town?

Bartender: Visitors Invasion

Wow, another great ripoff game featured on Steam Greenlight. This one is “inspired” (see: totally stolen from) by the old arcade game Tapper. The developer even has the guts to try and mask their ripoff by saying this game is a “tower defense.” Only because tower defense games are so HOT right now (see: three years ago). One quick thing: the screenshots for this game are amazing. I really cannot decide what I like most about this game: the fact that the “Bar” sign on the establishment is at a crazy angle or the guy in the green shirt and suspenders looks like his head is growing directly out if his chest.

Best Comment: wilco64256: “The graphics are an ugly mess, the description makes very little sense in English, and you didn’t even include the four required screenshots. Downvoting.”

Yeah, I love game where I literally cannot see anything happening on the screen!
I honestly cannot see how this would be fun.

Undead Blackout: Ultimate Edition

Hotline Miami and zombies. I could just leave it at that, because this game really does not deserve any other words. Here is a tip for all would-be game developers out there: do NOT mention actual good game in the description of your trash game. It makes the reader remember how good that other game is and totally forget about your crappy one. Even though this game only has one level right now (Yeah, you read right. ONE level and it is already on Stream Greenlight. Great job, Greenlight!) the developer has HUGE plans and will include and whole FIVE levels in the finished version! That is like 15 minutes of fun! Greenlight, yeah!

Best Comment: your crippled son: “Do you want to play a more limited version of GTA 1? Thiis is your game!”

Or is she crying because she was CREATED to be in a crappy game. Think about it, people.
Is she crying because she’s in a crappy game?

Who Is Mike – A Visual Novel

Who cares?

Best Comment: TreJn: “CHECK THE GOOD NEXTGEN GAMES FROM PCMASTERRACE COLLECTION ! http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=449085804” (Author’s note: I love the fact that this person is advertising for a different crappy Steam Greenlight game in the comment section for THIS crappy Steam Greenlight game.)

6 comments

  1. I like how pissed off the characters in the Tapper clone are. It’s almost like they know they’re in a shitty game

  2. We need to archive these reviews so future generations can see where the evolution of the video game went wrong.

  3. HOW is a Tapper clone a TOWER DEFENSE game? Because it has advancing units which will destroy the target if they approach all the way? THAT IS ALSO TRUE OF SPACE INVADERS.

    Guys, Space Invaders is a Tower Defence game. So is Pac-Man. And Pong.

  4. @Lusi: If that is the case, EVERY game with some sort of moving enemy is a tower defense game.

  5. Also:

    (Author’s note: I love the fact that this person is advertising for a different crappy Steam Greenlight game in the comment section for THIS crappy Steam Greenlight game.)

    This is some seriously meta shit. I laughed. Then I imploded.

Comments are closed.