News: A Confederacy of Dunces

Nobody should hold the power to outlaw culture.
Southern conservatives are still disdainfully ridiculed for suggesting that their culture is under attack within the public spheres of modern America.

Apple Bans Southern Pride

The Confederate flag means many things to many people. It can stand as a symbol of fierce state independence to some, as an emblem of the conflicting ideas which went to shape modern America to others, or quite simply as a sign of pride in being raised in one of America’s southern states – southern pride, if you will. To many of America’s douchebag liberal progressives the Confederate flag also stands as a symbol for racism, insofar as they have not already devalued that word into abject meaninglessness. If there is one cultural group that these people would dearly love to destroy even more than gamers, then it is the southern identity. A little bit rural and rather more inclined toward political conservatism, the southern identity makes for a stark contrast to effete latte swilling liberalism – and if there is one thing we know about modern liberals it is that to disagree with them is to insult them. There is practically no limit to the pettiness that America’s liberal class will employ in seeking recourse to this perceived slight, case in point liberal America has been impatiently waiting for an opportunity, any opportunity, to properly sink the boot into the Confederate flag.

Cue a psychologically damaged young man killing nine people in an apparently racially motivated attack – an incident that the left gleefully seized upon to demonise southerners. All the usual rogues and simpletons seized on this tragedy to push their barrow of anti-southern bile, even to the point of downplaying the role of the perpetrator’s gender so as not to overshadow the causal effect that the Confederate flag played in shaping the bloodbath. This conversation was disappointing enough when it was being had by hand-wringing nobodies on Twitter, but this week Apple has taken it to a worrying new level by banning games which feature the Confederate flag from the app store, immediately wiping out swathes of Civil War era RTS games.

We have removed apps from the App Store that use the Confederate flag in offensive or mean-spirited ways, which is in violation of our guidelines. We are not removing apps that display the Confederate flag for educational or historical uses.

Apple’s statement on the matter is demonstrably untrue, but it at least leaves the door open for effected RTS titles to seek mediation and eventually be restored to the Apple storefront. That being said, it really does not go any way to mitigating the situation, as Apple’s attempted abrogation of Southern identity is completely outrageous. Apple would have us believe that games and apps featuring the Confederate flag are far too offensive to remain on sale, even as Nazi flags featuring the swastika remain legitimate content for sale.Fuck off! This is social engineering plain and simple, and it is monstrous!

Remember to poop!!
Now with realistic metabolism!

Final Fantasy VII: Combat to Be Realistic!

If the announcement of the Final Fantasy VII remake came as a surprise to gamers, then imagine how it must have felt for the director, Tetsuya Nomura, who had no idea that he was the game’s directer until he saw his name in the trailer credits. As director of the original Final Fantasy VII, Nomura had supposed that Yoshinori Kitase would be returning to his role as director, but this did not prove to be the case. It is unsurprising that Kitase would pass up the opportunity to return to the director’s chair, given the amount of time that has elapsed since he transitioned into the role of Square Enix producer. That said, it is also a pity given that some of Nomura’s plans for the Final Fantasy VII remake seem disquieting, to say the least.

I can’t share details, but we’re changing it to a more realistic system.

Apparently Final Fantasy VII‘s battle system is not good enough for Nomura’s liking, and requires it being re-imagined in a more realistic fashion. One game which has plenty of realistic combat is Final Fantasy XV. Final Fantasy XV‘s combat is exceptionally cumbersome on account of it being motion captured with an unwieldy excessive number of animation frames. Realism is no longer a virtue when it affects gameplay, making it bad. Characters move as though wading through treacle, double over out of breath from running too far, and fight in a sluggish and cumbersome fashion on account of the realistic weight of their giant sword. Final Fantasy VII fans do not want a completely re-imagined version of their favourite game, they just want a faithful recreation with an enhanced presentation. Instead Nomura is in the process of throwing the baby out with the bathwater, as he liberally raids the Final Fantasy XV design document for inspiration on how he might irrevocably alter the greatest JRPG ever made. The man must be stopped! Nomura must be stopped!!

... It's good to be king!
And now has a file with state law enforcement…

Anime News!

In tidings literally asked for by no Lusireader ever, NIS has just added another anime to a truly surprisingly long list, or at least that is how it comes off to anyone who has not been following their anime output. YuruYuri is designated as a slice of life anime, which is an accurate enough description, assuming of course that the slice of life in question belongs to a pedophile’s whimsy.

The first season of YuruYuri is this week available for round-eyed westerners to purchase and make their own. The anime, which is seeing release a full three years behind the original Japanese run, will follow the daily travails of the amusement club. Speaking personally, one has been truly surprised at what a solid foothold NIS appears to have in the North American anime market. With the requisite pantsu on show, YuruYuri appears to be another strong offering in the NIS repertoire.


  1. In tidings literally asked for by no Lusireader ever


  2. Feelings must be protected, copious amounts of hurt must be avoided on feelings under death penalty according to civilized legislation of course, otherwise that would be completely madness.

    What is madness? the hype that I have for the ashes! :D . May the best Australian Semaphore wins.

    Funny name that yuri yuri, great article!

  3. Bup has my permission to un-shutup. Anime is quantitatively the worst.

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