Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 33

“Yer a crappy service, Steam Greenlight.” As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the games in question.

And I don't blame him! width=

I think this guy is trying to get out of the game.

The Zona

“Translated by ‘Google Translator.'” That is pretty much all one really needs to know about this game. It is basically a crappy, Russian knockoff (surprise surprise) of basically any open-world, war game. Such as: DayZ, Arma, etc. Here are some other gems from the “translated” game description: “History of an ordinary soldier. But one morning you are given a task…” Wait, are WE this “ordinary soldier?” “The developers have tried to make an interesting location Apocalypse.” Oh, I get it now. The developer is talking to the Marvel universe character named Apocalypse. This game makes complete sense… wait, no it does not. Never mind. “…you will need to look for food that would not die naturally.” So, GMOs are still okay in this world? Fine by me!

Best Comment: GamingPotato33: “just an english comment passing through.” (Seriously, 99% of the comments are in Russian.)

Check out that dank pentagram graffiti, brah!

Yes, “I Hoo” as well.

IH8

This is a “horror” game (aka: jumpscare JPGs EVERYWHERE). Apparently the house the player explores generates at random. Apparently it tells the “story” of one family. Apparently people actually think this pile of garbage will be “good,” because people are voting for it. Oh, wait, I get it now. Pixel graphics + jumpscares = PROFIT! This game has finally found the perfect combination for Steam Greenlight.

Best Comment: garibiza: “I enter to a web page while I was watching the video of this game, suddenly I started to listen a song, I thought that it was from the video, but it was from the page, and it fits perfectly xD The song’s name is Ib – Puppet Cover by Jayn :)” (Yes, I understand and agree with everything said here.)

Please do not hate me for making a period joke.

Looks like the girls’ bathroom at summer camp. Am I right, ladies?

The Meat: How they live

This is what one can gather from the very scare game description: Zombie game. Unity assets. Complete garbage. Oh, and apparently the developer is deleting comments that do not praise the game, so that is always a good sign. CRAP!

Best Comment: MrLEWXIII: “HAHA! Oh buddy deleting comments will get you no where. Hey look at those unity assets.”

3 comments on “Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 33”

  1. @Lusi: At first I thought that was a PETA propaganda game about the horrors of an animal slaughterhouse.

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