Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 34

You know the drill from here. Steam Greenlight. Crap. “Reviews” written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question. Yawn.

Where have I seen this before?!

Hmmm, this looks mighty familiar…

Nuclear Shot

Here is an “update” about this game: “Game graphics updated” What, from “crap” to just “kinda crappy?” “New Graphics!” Oh, you stole some new ones from Minecraft? “Soon Screenshot!” Naw, do not bother! Nobody cares!

Best Comment: Constable Bloimey Chips: “Particle studios, I will legitimately pay you money to never make games again.”

SUPER RACIST!

RACIST!

Super Black: The Game

I feel like this game is SUPER racist, but I just do not know why. Maybe it is the title of Super Black: The Game that makes me feel that? Maybe it is the fact that the main character has an afro. Maybe is it because the most “popular” discussion about this game is titled, ” Will I be able to purchase this game with KFC coupons?” Maybe it is all three combined! Maybe nobody cares and nobody should care about anything to do with this crap!

Best Comment: TAEV: “can you play it?”

You know. That snarky one!

Where’s that potato?

Hyper expansion

This game is just a dumbed-down version of Portal. Actually, looking at this game again I think the developer got his ideas from “VR Training” rooms in late-90’s games. You know, the ones that were in EVERY game from that era. They were also super boring, annoying, and required to start any new game. Like, were we supposed to be impressed by these things? That is like being impressed by concrete. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh, this crappy game. No cake? No thanks!

Best Comment: Jesus Fetus: “I thought this was gonna be a game about my fetishes.”

9 comments on “Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 34”

  1. At least all three of these games seem to work–that’s pretty good by the standards of this column. 7/10.

  2. I blame Metal Gear Solid for that VR crap. Shit, they released an entire game that was nothing BUT VR missions. Ugh.

  3. I think the collateral damage from all of these Minecraft clones have long since out weighed the good that Minecraft ever did (inb4 “it never did any good”). And the same is true of the survival horror revival we had on PC.

  4. You have violated the “inb4 Clause” of The Internet Protocol. You must watch Numa Numa at half speed for an hour.

  5. @Mel: Your internet rules mean nothing to me. This is Lusipurr-Land!

    Seriously, though–Minecraft has done no good that I can see, and has done quite a lot of harm. Bup’s charting of the scores of Minecraft clones on Steam Greenlight is just one side of its pernicious influence.

  6. Minecraft clones have played an integral part in these Greenlight reviews, which are good, and also published by Lusipurr.com, so isn’t that a little bit of good?

Comments are closed.