Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 42

Welcome to the world of tomorrow! Lusipurr loves when I say that during my Bup Talks. Bad news: apparently the world of tomorrow are a bunch of crappy Steam Greenlight games. This week we have not just one, but two RPG Maker games and a Terraria clone! As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question.

...for me to poop on heheheehehheheheheheheheh!

RPG Maker is truely the greatest game engine.

Labyrinth of Ages

RPG Maker games seem to be the bane of Steam Greenlight. They are always boring, short, and complete garbage. This game is not an exception to that rule. Not only does this game look pretty much exactly like every other RPG Maker game, but it somehow makes the art and graphics of that engine even more boring than other games. Not only that, but it seems like should one want to complete the game fully, why anyone would want to play this trash in the first place is beyond me, the player must complete all the sidequests to get to the main boss. However, last time I checked the point of sidequests is not to further the main story but to add to the game play. Why not just make those quests part of the main story? Oh, because this is a crappy, RPG Maker Steam Greenlight game that nobody should care about in the first place. I almost forgot.

Best Comment: Come Here Smexy ;): “‘Rate fairly’- Ok. Downvote. Genereic RPG description, just two screenshots and no videos. Buck your ideas up if you want to be Greenlit.” (I do not know who “Smexy” is, but he or she should definitely stay away.)

...for me to poop on heheheheheeheheheheheheeheh!

Oh, ok.

Zombie dimension uera

As I really, REALLY enjoying doing sometimes I am just going to copy and paste this game’s description and be snarky. Trust me, you will love it. Any spelling or grammatical mistakes in the quotes are taken directly from this game’s description. I guess spellcheck does not exist in the fast-paced world of Steam Greenlight. “Not Your Standard RPG” I already have a feeling that is a lie. “That’s Right! You play as the loveable meat head Rob, he was just after a simple crystal,” Standard RPG stuff so far. “…but he as gotten into something far worse than bandits, demon warriors, or worse.. evil gerbil people,” LOL! Random humor! Hilarious! “…a zombie infested dimension! The populus is stricken with a strange virus that causes people to change into zombies, and monsters! Are you strong enough to defeat the undead scourge?” More like are we strong enough to not puke instantly from how horrid this game will be. “Current features will be updated” I hope one of the updates is to delete this off the internet. “We are currently working on some new features in game,” Do not bother. Nobody will play this anyway. “They will be implimented as fast as we can.” So, basically you will release the game unfinished, work on some small “update,” and then forget about it and move on to your next crappy game. “I would also like to thank everyone for their comments, both positive and negative I intend to make this game a great one.” Well, this is posted on Steam Greenlight, so you already failed at making it a great one. “we hope you’ll enjoy our zombie filled romp” Nope! “-Raymond (Mop)” Wait, is this guy’s nickname “Mop?” What a horrible nickname. No wonder he makes horrible games.

Best Comment: Jefferson Knight: “looks unique. voted!” (I really hope this is a troll.)

100% stolen.

Seriously. Go search “Seabear” on Google.

Planetventure

Honestly, I am not sure what else to say about this game other than it is just Terraria but with worse graphics. Not only that, but the author of this game apparently deleted any negative comments about the game in the Greenlight entry. Always two great ways to start off your game! Oh, did I also mention that the Seabear shown in the above image looks remarkably like a character from a cartoon about a sponge who lives underwater? No copyright infringement there!

Best Comment: Ferengi: “Looks like a really nice 2003 flash game, but not as a 2015 pc game” (I honestly do not think this would have been good even as a 2003 flash game.)

4 comments on “Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 42”

  1. There are good RPG maker games out there, just like there is good FanFiction. But are absolutely buried under the infinite mound of shit that falls out of the heads of complete fucking idiots. Steam Greenlight was supposed to ensure that the cream rose to the top. Instead, it’s just a barrel into which the dross is dumped in ever-increasing quantities.

    Labyrinth of Ages looks like one of the worst things I’ve ever seen on Greenlight, and that’s quite an accomplishment.

    The fact that there’s another Zombie game on this list makes me just want to give up and wa

  2. When you see a pile of shit like RPG Maker’s many, many, MANY offerings, you feel less compelled to stick a hand in there and root around for whatever gems might be inside.

  3. A New version of RPG Maker is about to come out, so expect to see a lot more of this stuff.

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