Editorial: Free Hidden Gems of 2015

As the days in a 2015 calendar dwindle downward, so do the number of video games being released. As such, it is only fair to recognize the video games some gamers might have missed due to their their ridiculous price point of being free.

God hath forsaken his children.

The tragedy is that this still is not worse than the pictures one can find on DeviantArt.

Surprisingly the only official games in the “Sonic the Hedgehog” franchise released this year were Sonic Dash 2: Sonic Boom and a PC port of Sonic Lost World. However, one unsung hero was released unofficially and delivered gameplay like no other Sonic game before it, that hero was Sonic Dreams Collection. The premise of the games is that the developers, Arcane Kid$, found a note in a Dreamcast development kit, which led them to finding four prototypes of Sonic games which never saw the light of day. So, they took the noble approach and released these fours games as a part of the Sonic Dreams Collection. The compilation includes four games, the first being Make My Sonic, a basic character creator on par with DeviantArt’s usage of Sonic OCs (original characters). Second is Eggman Origin an MMORPG that can not actually be played because it requires a connection to SegaNet, however, if the player searches in the folder the game came from they can find an app known as SegaNet which lets them access a map and some interesting visuals with none other than Dr. Eggman himself. The last two are Sonic Movie Maker and My Roommate Sonic, easily the most disturbing of the four with the former being a home film simulator that includes shooting an orgy in a hotel room and witnessing a pregnant Sonic give birth, while the latter is getting dating advice from Dr. Eggman while the player tries to romance Sonic himself, possibly in search of some sort of Godless furry sex.

Pugs are some of the most trustworthy animals, so this game logically makes sense.

That dog is so adorable it is downright painful.

Speaking of furries, the next game is actually directly linked to romancing animals, albeit without as much sin, as it is the beautiful Hot Date. The game itself is extremely simple and can probably be “beaten” in as few as three minutes. The entirety of the game is that the player is going speed dating and all the available candidates are pugs which look delightful in the stylized artwork the game provides. The dialogue is witty, the music is relaxing, and the visuals are adorable, leading the game to being some sort of palette cleanser between longer and more fulfilling gaming experiences. That does not mean it is bad in any regard, as it was not made with the intention it would be some sort of blockbuster video game with an expansive story, it is just a game where players go speed dating with pugs, and that is beautiful in its own right.

Remember, crimes against those who vape are not actual crimes, so it is ok to steal their homes. Not rob the innards, but actually take the entire home.

Some developers decide to take a stand while others remain silent in the face of oppression.

Last up in the selection of free games that gamers might have missed this year is Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist, a game with a title Fall Out Boy might one day use for a song. The game was developed by Crows Crows Crows, which includes William Pugh, one of the designers of The Stanley Parable and features the vocal talents of English comediation Simon Amstell and co-creator of the television show “Rick and Morty,” Justin Roiland. The premise of this title is that the player is meant to play Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist , but there is actually someone else already in the middle of playing Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist and the development crew behind Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist left, so the player is now stuck with doing the background stage work of Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist such as working the elevator and starting the rain effects. Of course, once the player is done assisting the intruder, the game ends with the player finally able to play, Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist . Overall, the game is extremely comedic and has a charm that is definitely reminiscent of The Stanley Parable while not relying on the same jokes but instead forging its own, and even has a second quest of sorts with deleted gameplay audio and the addition of pretzels hidden around the map.

What was your favorite free game of 2015? Do you plan on playing any of the games included in this editorial such as Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist ? Let us know in the comments below and have a happy new year (if you choose to celebrate it)!

7 comments on “Editorial: Free Hidden Gems of 2015”

  1. Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist. There, I said it again.

  2. What is all this stuff? I don’t even know what this post is about.

  3. I’m doing the Lord’s work by showing our readers some free games from 2015 they might have missed out on. Pregnant Sonic demands your love, attention, and most importantly, acceptance.

  4. I don’t understand nothing of this and I am quite confused. I think adeki did go mental in the morning after wearing his super thinking sombrero .

  5. I don’t understand. Sonic cannot get pregnant. Sonic is male. Explain.

  6. sonic is male could have been a lie from sega, maybe sonic was a crossdessing girl all along, because sega does what nintendon’t and nintendo wouldn’t lie to us, maybe sega would .

    nice article .

Comments are closed.