Editorial: Having Sex with Jeffrey Dahmer

Though, it is questionable whether it is financially worth it yet to buy an accessory solely for the usage of a figurine with a portable entertainment device when a superior model exists albeit for a much higher price.

Yes, gamers too, can use Amiibo with their 3DS, no longer just the bigwigs.

Some Amiibo are hard to find, Anita Sarkissian is doing an amazing job revolutionizing the gaming industry, water is wet. Now, one of the previous statements was a lie, but admittedly it could be hard to distinguish between fact and fiction when water is such an illustrious bastard who refuses to let their true identity reveal itself to the public. Yes, it is a known fact that Amiibo can be ridiculously hard to come by which has led some collectors to importing them from Japan while others are willing to shell out upwards of twenty, even thirty dollars just to get a figure of the Wii Fit Trainer in order to make said Trainer their slave in combat. Which is, in fact, one of the best uses of Amiibo as they do have many others outside of Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. These uses being lesser tasks such as unlocking trial versions of Virtual Console titles, or using them to roll a dice in a video game barely anyone purchased because sweet baby Jesus why would any logical person buy an “Animal Crossing” based party game that does not have the same infuriating mechanics as the “Mario Party” franchise and relies heavily on the usage of Amiibo without the fun of them bludgeoning each other to the absolute death? Because of this fact, it is not a surprise that the Amiibo related to said game have dropped down drastically in value to the point where some are near fifty percent off their original price while being brand new.

Sadly, this figure is still a better design than the one used in the western versions.

A dream of what could have been.

Tangent aside, there is no better word to explain the Amiibo shortage in the United States than crisis. Nintendo chose to manufacture absurd amounts of Mario and Pikachu Amiibo while others such as Rosalina & Luma can be absurdly hard to come by. However, the blame can not be placed entirely on Nintendo as they did not even realize, along with many other gamers, the level of popularity Amiibo reached as the initial reveal was somewhat lackluster for some who saw it as a quick and easy cash grab similar to Disney Infinity. It also makes sense to focus on characters such as Link and Luigi as they both come from wildly successful franchises whereas the Wii Fit Trainer can most definitely be seen as more of a niche character which ironically led to her popularity. Thankfully, Nintendo has also been doing an adequate job at restocking some of these figures such as the Splatoon 3-Pack which had the exclusive Squid Amiibo and was previously hard to come by.

However, this fact has destroyed many innocent wallets.

As the months pass, the games that use Amiibo continue to grow.

Speaking of which, another piece of the puzzle that is Amiibo purchasing, lies in the store exclusivity of the figures. For example, Bowser Jr. is exclusive to Toys R Us, while Shulk can only be found by going to one’s local Gamestop if online purchasing is not an option. Meanwhile new Amiibo are coming in rapidly adding to the growing total due to their overwhelming success, which is quite impressive considering they were Wii U exclusive for a lengthy period of time and as most know the Wii U has not been extremely successful in terms of sales while the 3DS has done quite well for itself. However, the 3DS only recently received Amiibo support by either purchasing the newest model which has the compatibility built it, or by purchasing an external device to place the Amiibo on so it will be intriguing to see how this is utilized in the near future.

How do you feel about the Amiibo crisis plaguing America? Have you ever felt victimized or alienated by the shortage of Amiibo? Make sure to leave a comment below to share your woes!

10 comments on “Editorial: Having Sex with Jeffrey Dahmer”

  1. I bought three of the initial Amiibo purely to see what happened in Hyrule Warriors (it was a short, but glorious addiction) and because I wanted those particular characters. Afterwards, Nintendo’s poor supply management and the sheer glut of different retailer exclusives put me off them completely. I may pick up one or two more in the future, but my interest now lies solely in the figure itself–I find the idea of tying in-game content to external items repugnant.

  2. @Wolfe I really went all out for this editorial, I knew that this would grab the attention of the people!

    @Danferno As someone who owns 13 Amiibo, I will admit I do have a problem. But for whatever reason I really do like collecting them but I’ve never gone out of my way to do such as visiting a store other than my local Target to get one and I can’t imagine doing so in the future. The Smash Bros. content is nice, but it is definitely true that most other games usage of the figures have been inadequate.

    @Lusipurr I WARNED YOU THIS EDITORIAL WAS HAPPENING, I TWEETED ABOUT IT YESTERDAY.

  3. @Adeki: I own more Amiibo than you and I don’t have a problem.

    But then I knew exactly which ones I was going to buy, and exactly for what purposes. And now that those purposes are met, I am done buying amiibo. I only wanted the official Smash Bros. versions, and then only for characters that I play. For other games, Nintendo can get fucked.

    I think I accept amiibo for Smash because that is thing of which Smash is a digital representation: the ‘characters’ in the games are actually amiibo-like figures that come to life and do battle. So, I am perfectly all right with there being real physical figures, created so as to retroactively reify the game’s imaginary conceit.

  4. @Lusipurr Please admit your problem, this is a judgement free zone, we all love and respect you. It’s ok to admit your true feelings. Also I have a problem because I bought the Splatoon 3-Pack out of fear it would go out of stock and to this day I don’t own a copy of Splatoon. But I’m getting one sometime this month so, eh.

  5. I don’t have a problem.

    You are the one buying amiibo for games you do not even know.

  6. The Splatoon amiibo are really worth it, if you enjoy the single player game (which I did). I bought a couple slightly overpriced ones (girl and boy, not squid) not long before they restocked supplies, but I still had fun with them.

  7. I’ve played about 20 minutes of the single-player campaign, and I thought it was pretty entertaining. I don’t really plan on buying any more Amiibo without owning the game first from now on, except for the Chibi-Robo! Amiibo since it’s less than $7 and I have an indescribable love for that little guy.

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