Editorial: Bayobreaking Hearts

Nearly every single one of her attacks is amazing to watch and creative in their own way.

This is one of her lesser attacks.

As Bayonetta/Nelson Mandela once stated in a famous press conference regarding the censorship of illegal crab hate speech, “I’ll, how do the Americans put it…oh yes, ‘Bust a cap in yo ass.'” Now, while this quote might actually have been from the first game in the “Bayonetta” franchise starring and spoken by the titular Bayonetta herself, it would be extremely difficult to find out as Nelson Mandela has not replied to any emails for the past year in order to figure out the truth. Regardless, it is a very humorous quote that does a fantastic job at explaining how many gamers feel as Bayonetta 2 is damn near impossible to find in a store despite there being a large audience who wants to play it due to its critical acclaim.

Bayonetta finally defeated racism against Black Santa!

Do not question Black Santa, he is a highly regarded official.

As many know, Bayonetta was confirmed as being the very last DLC character for Super Smash Bros. for Wii U which upset many players who had high hopes it would instead be someone like Shovel Knight or Goku. Meanwhile, the approximately 12 people that voted for Bayonetta have not stopped cheering to this day and are consistently screaming even as these words are being typed. Even now, it is hard to believe that Bayonetta was the one candidate that one that was actually eligible, which creates a sense of wonder as to who had a large amount of requests but ultimately did not see the light of day because they were not a viable option. Unfortunately, this reveal has also generated a lot of hype for the character and the games she comes from, leading fans in a scramble to play her games before her release. What makes the situation even more painful is that despite the fact that the first game originally launched on the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 in 2010, it was then later rereleased and packaged with Bayonetta 2 when it came out in 2014. So, it is entirely possible to play both of her games on the Nintendo Wii U, it is just extremely difficult due to a limited run.

If you do though, send it straight to Lusipurr.com, they deserve it more than you.

Do not even think about trying to buy this.

However, not all is lost, Nintendo recently announced that Bayonetta 2 will have a rerelease as a standalone title in February but failed to mention if this will apply some sort of discount to the first game on the eShop or if the eShop version will go on sale as well in case this rerelease is too small in scope for hardcore fans who demand a physical copy. This leaves fans in an awkward position of not knowing if they will ever be able to have a physical copy of the first game, or if they will even be able to get the discount other gamers got by purchasing the game. Really, it is all a darn shame as Bayonetta 2 is a fantastic Nintendo Wii U exclusive, loved by players and critics alike for its addicting gameplay, upbeat music, witty dialogue, and the sexiest of sex appeal since Sonic the Hedgehog leaked inappropriate pictures of himself in order to captivate the attention of adult gamers.

Have you played a “Bayonetta” game? Do you think they are underrated, or have you considered purchasing a Nintendo Wii U with this game possibly in mind? Make sure to leave a comment down below to let us know what you think!

2 comments on “Editorial: Bayobreaking Hearts”

  1. I have never played a Bayonetta game.

    The Wii U First Print Edition is pretty impressive, but I expect it is way overpriced.

  2. I’d recommend playing the demo on the eShop to get a feel for it, and hopefully the new reprint of the second game only will have enough copies to satisfy everyone in need.

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