Wow, Steam Greenlight sure does suck, does it not? Well, that is all of an intro I have for now. As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question.
So, this is basically just some crappy tank fighting game. It looks like the developer of this game made it in about an hour. Let us see what kind of new “features” this game will bring to the genre (Pssst! I bet it is nothing!)! “Eliminate all enemies in all levels.” Right. Standard stuff so far. “Get Ready to control a Tank. Some difficulties can happen” (sic). Wait, what kind of difficulties are we talking? Gross ones? If there are gross ones, then I do not want to go! I do not want to war! “If you like a military style, join us.” Is this, like, a sex thing? Is “military style” some sort of sex act? If only Ethos was still around. He would probably know, because he is a big ol’ PERVERT! OWNED! “To Have Peace, The War need Comes.” Dang, this is a pretty good pick up line! I am going to use this one the next time I go to the bar.
Best Comment: SlayerCoon: “It’s like world of tanks if it were made in 1998 on a $100 budget.”
This one… this one is a little hard to explain. It seems to be an RPG of some sort about a British girl trying to capture a singer who stole her friend’s tanning salon? The description is very confusing, as it jumps from a really bad written impersonation of a Brit to text acronyms. Sometimes using both at once. Just read this example: “Aight? I’m Candice innit (that’s me up in the photo, the biggest one as I am well important)…” I am SO confused. “…and this is an Action RPG all about the incredibly trick lifestyle of me and my m8s!” Wait, what does that mean? No, I know what “m8s” means. I am talking about “trick lifestyle.” What is a “trick lifestyle?” According to Google it means something about being… how can I put this delicately… a WHORE. Yes, this game is about being a prostitute in England. At least, that is what I can surmise from one Google search that took ten seconds. The game also seems to think that having over “2 1/2 hours of voice acting” is something to boast about. Maybe add about ten more hours and then we can talk.
Best Comment: Hot Tits McGee: “I like how there are only two voice actors, who have no talent/experience. I also like how it looks like I’m not going to have fun at all and how some of the character designs are creepy as hell.”
This game is just a meme about a rock from Russia. Who frickin’ cares?
Best Comment: HellblazerHawkman: “I don’t understand what the game is”