Editorial: Butt Based Sexism in Gaming

Anita Sarkeesian, known enemy of cool people, recently stated in her video “Strategic Butt Coverings – Tropes vs Women in Video Games” that “the solution here is not to simply show more butts of male characters.” This statement was in addition to her previous section where she highlighted the difference between the way butts were represented on female characters as opposed to men. However, Sarkeesian is dead wrong in this belief, as the only real way to solve sexism in gaming to to portray every adult, human, main character with an ample posterior. In order to prove the previous claims, research has been done in order to find the best examples of male video game character butts in order to establish the standard of which all future video games butts must adhere to.

It may be small compared to the others, but it is powerful and wise beyond its years.

Squats come first, justice comes second.

Nightwing, a famous DC Comics superhero, has historically known for his blessings below the belt as he has been repeatedly portrayed as having an ass as firm as his handshake. In the picture, gamers can clearly see that Batman: Arkham Knight was able to deliver on this fact as Nightwing is accurately portrayed as a twink. The suit is damn near skin-tight and it is very possible his testicles are being squeezed harder than a stress toy owned by someone with anger issues, however the most protruding part of his outfit is his buttocks. In all honestly, if Two-Face were to make a decision using his signature coin, it is very likely it would bounce straight off of Nightwing’s ass and straight back into Two-Face’s hand as he is immediately thereafter served a knuckle sandwich full of lukewarm justice.

Just think of all the people on the internet who have un-ironically referred to Captain Falcon as Daddy.

A butt that shall be remembered for years because of its sheer magnitude.

Next is a man with a butt more popular than the games that he is from, the one and only, Captain Falcon. As one can clearly see in the picture to the left, Captain Falcon is a man that has a seriously impressive Gluteus Maximus. A man does not simply achieve a butt as brilliant as that from genetics, no, he must instead work out religiously to have achieved such a spectacle as the one Captain Falcon has on display. While his outfit might not be as tight as Nightwing’s, it is evident that Captain Falcon has a much larger hindquarters and could probably kill someone by suffocating them with the sheer force of his ass.

It fills both the screen and outfit quite nicely.

One of the best male video game butts of all time.

Last up in the list is Nick Ramos from Dead Rising 3 who is dressed like a common whore in the picture to the right, but not just some random whore, but rather, a whore that strives for justice in gaming. Nick’s butt does not merely represent the fact that he has an amazing behind with well-toned thighs, but it instead reminds us that all male characters should have a butt as luxurious as Nick’s. Gone are the days of backwards thinking, instead gamers need to push forward and give amazing butts to every main character, regardless of their gender. Not only would this finally solve the sexism crisis in gaming, it would also give gamers a little something more to look at as they played, and possibly even encourage them to work out, so they too can have a more well-defined butt.

Are you impressed by the quality of these male video-game character’s butts? Were you disgusted by the mere appearance of this editorial? Should Adeki remain staffed Lusipurr.com thanks to incredible editorials such as these? Make sure to leave a comment below and let us know what you really think.

10 comments on “Editorial: Butt Based Sexism in Gaming”

  1. What is this Low-Jik? You must be confused and think that it matters that you can make counter points. It might even be their grand scheme: be obstinate to the point that your critics become tired and give up. I am feeling so tired myself. I really am. I am stubborn enough to never give up logical thought however but I am so tired of this wave of stupidity that is everywhere. Am I wrong to think that this is new? Was this always present but now has a voice?

    I don’t even mind different opinions to my own but it’s another thing when you think your opinion should be made law on a subject… I just don’t even know what to do anymore.

    (Insert picture of Rock Biter here with quote:)
    “They look like big, good, strong hands, don’t they? I always thought that’s what they were.”

  2. This is a joke editorial brought to you by the same man who posted an editorial demanding more musical numbers in video games. Nothing serious is being said or done here.

  3. I laughed. It worked just fine. Particularly the description of Nightwing’s butt.

  4. My Captain Falcon amiibo lacks the sheer arse-magnitude of the in-game model. This is fraud!

  5. Are we even allowed to have these pictures on the site? Couldn’t they be considered a form of pornography? I mean, I got a boner.

  6. @Wolfe Thanks, I’ve always been a big fan of Nightwing’s butt, so I felt it was only fair to share it with the world.

    @Lusipurr I’m sure there’s a bizarre fetishist who also creates custom Amiibo to rectify the exact injustice you’re talking about. Go to them.

    @Bup My job is to give our fine readers the greatest video game related boners they can achieve. You have signaled my success.

  7. @Adeki: Is there a ‘rule 34’ for amiibo? Because if there isn’t, there ought be.

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