Editorial: Radical Robots in Video Games

Robots, while society once feared them, it is now the human race’s duty to make them mankind’s bitch. From vacuuming suburban homes to communicating with lonely teenagers online about memes, robots no longer seem to hold the threat they once did when movies such as “The Terminator” were released. However, Lusipurr.com is not a website about movies, it is a website about the beautiful and diverse creatures known as video games. As such, this editorial will bring to light a handful of robotic companions gamers have played with amongst the years, while excluding more popular ones such as GlaDOS from Portal and Robo from Chrono Trigger.

Get dogs that can kill people, otherwise they are just playful decorations that hold no use except being cute. Which is not that bad a thing.

There he is, although he might not be as fluffy and adorable, he can kill people and that is what truly matters.

First up, is Dog (occasionally stylized as D0g) from Half-Life 2 one of the most well-known first person shooters of all time that includes one of the friendliest robots gamers have ever encountered. While at first he seems like a horrifying amalgamation of machinery, Dog later proves himself at being an exceptional fighter, with throwing skills that rival the greats such as Kobe Bryant and Bugs Bunny. In fact, in Half-Life 2: Episode Two, Dog shows that he is able to take down a Strider, which is basically a gigantic alien war machine that is about 3 times the height of Dog. He also proves useful in saving the life of Freeman’s dear friend Alyx, but not her father Eli, who is what the kids would call “super dead.”

Please do not be mean to heroin addicts, maybe they too just need to find help from a tiny robot with a syringe.

Chibi-Robo must face off against a teddy bear that is scarily addicted to nectar, like a heroin addict except scarier.

Next, Lusipurr.com feels like it must inform its readers of the unfortunate news that people lie, namely those who write editorials. Because of this, the next radical robot in this editorial is none other than Chibi-Robo from the Gamecube title Chibi-Robo! Plug Into Adventure!. Not only is Chibi-Robo adorable as sin, he is also ridiculously useful, capable of performing tasks that range from being as minuscule as cleaning up paw-prints with a toothbrush to saving a suburban family from divorce. Although the only good game he has been in was his first, Chibi-Robo will continue to live in the hearts of those with rose-colored glasses and damn near crippling nostalgia for what might have actually not been that great a game, but instead just a good game that was fun to play at the time.

Adeki was not forced into including Cait Sith at risk of termination.

Just look at how cool he is, the awe-inspiring beauty!

Last, but certainly not least, is the one and only Cait Sith who proudly welcomes readers upon immediate arrival to the site. That is correct, Cait Sith, known hero is nothing more than a remote controlled puppet which in Layman’s terms is a really cool cat robot capable of controlling a gigantic toy Moogle that most likely has diabetes or fallen arches due to its crippling weight. Cait Sith is no mere puppet, he is a robotic cat that kicks ass and controls a giant Moogle with a megaphone that has more power than a Taiwanese baby’s left thumb. Without a robot as luxurious as Cait Sith it is unknown if this website would even exist. Truly, Final Fantasy VII is the gift that keeps on giving with its colorful cast of characters including the one and only Cait Sith who is the true pièce de résistance of this editorial.

Who is your favorite robotic video game character? Go for more obscure video game characters, do not just bore us with classics like Mega Man and the Robot Masters, give us your favorite robot sidekicks that only make a two minute appearance in a video game that only sold ten copies. Make sure to leave a comment below!

8 comments on “Editorial: Radical Robots in Video Games”

  1. My favourite robotic video game character is Quick Man. He works here.

  2. @Pit: Robo is always a great choice! I was thinking about including him in the editorial but I didn’t want to be too obvious in the selection.

    @Dancing Matt: Still haven’t played Persona 3 yet but I loved Persona 4, I believe there’s a PSP version available?

    @Lusipurr: Quick Man handles business is an quick and efficient manner; great hire.

  3. More obscure, eh?

    Musha Aleste. One of the most badass robots in video games. From M.U.S.H.A. (1990, Sega Genesis)

    Bari-Arm. Another giant mech from a more obscure horizontal shooter, “Android Assault”, released in 1994 for the Sega CD.

    Finally, the Metal Gear mk2 from Snatcher (1993, Sega CD). Cheeky little bastard. “You were deceived? Women will do that if you give them the chance.” Love it.

  4. I really like Glitch from Metal Arms. That’s just a good game. Real shame that it didn’t get a sequel.

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