News: Nintendo’s Treehouse Should Be Burned Down

Fuck Treehouse and fuck Nintendo!
Treehouse do not localise games, they vandalise them!

Nintendo Treehouse Has Completely Fucked Fire Emblem Fates

Nintendo Treehouse has completely fucked Fire Emblem Fates. In the run up to the game’s release it looked as if something like this may have been on the cards, but the state of Fire Emblem Fates at launch is certainly a worst case scenario – on multiple fronts. Firstly, without even getting into the reams of unnecessary censorship and name changes, Treehouse have managed to drop the ball on one of the most fundamental aspects of the localisation process, which is to say that they have produced mediocre English voice tracks which are far bellow the standard set by Fire Emblem Awakening. The reason for this is quite simply because the voice actors were given no direction or context this time around. Rena Stroba, the voice actress of Azaura, revealed that Treehouse did not show her the lines of dialogue that she would be responding to, nor did they tell her the name of the character she was portraying or even the name of the game that she was providing voice acting for. It is a small wonder then that the dialogue recorded was able to be used at all.

Moving on to the meat of the issue, the localisation of Fire Emblem Fates was fucked well beyond what poor voice acting alone could have accomplished. Character names have been altered for no reason other than vanity, often times being altered by the mere addition or subtraction of a single letter. Location/map names have been altered too, in many cases simply in order to infuse the game with Treehouse’s own brand of quirky meme humour. To make matters worse Treehouse decided to rename several long-standing character classes and skill names – for instance ‘Pegasus Knights’ are now ‘Sky Knights’. Finally, dialogue has also been altered to better reflect the refined Treehouse sense of humour. For instance the line:

I don’t have to hold back from now on, right? We’ll always be together, right?

I’m so happy…!


…Rrrghg rawrgghh rrrh!

That’s dragon for ‘I love you!’

If ever there were a line to instantly engender buyer’s remorse among players who romantically paired their protagonist with an NPC, it is certainly the cloying latter of these two exchanges. It is as though Nintendo Treehouse are actively courting furfags and dragon dildo fanciers at the expense of actual paying customers.

Cloying retard humour is not the only culprit for dialogue alterations however, as the Nintendo Treehouse also have an ideological barrow to push, and thus much of the game’s content has been edited to service the goals of Social Justice! For example the character of Effie is said to be a caring gentle giant type character in the Japanese version of Fire Emblem Fates, yet in the Western release she is a butch ‘strong independent womyn that don’t need no man’. Then of course there is all the content that was not so much altered as it was completely gutted and then dumped in the garbage skip out behind the Treehouse. The skinship sections of Fire Emblem Fates [along with other such character developmental nasties] have been hacked out with such abandon that the Western release of the game now features fewer than half the number of audio files as the Japanese version. It must be so easy to localise a game once half of its content lies aborted on the cutting room floor. At least when Planned Parenthood remove content they are prepared to sell it back to the highest bidder, but no such luck with Nintendo – the skinship content is just gone. Finally, swimsuits have also been cut from the game, because apparently swimming is sexist, and is not at all a popular Summer pastime. Honestly, one simply cannot fathom how Richard Amtower, Nintendo Localisation Manager [and vocal Zoe Quinn supporter], ever could have allowed this game to ship in such a state!

I’m sorry, does this make you uncomfortable?

United Nonces Push Japan to Ban Sexy Girls

Speaking of vocal Zoe Quinn supporters, the UN certainly is an utterly useless institution. They will not say boo to countries like Saudi Arabia sitting on human rights councils, but will then turn around and expend all of their energy on trying to browbeat Japan into censoring and banning all of their sexy games and anime. When one thinks about it like that, the UN really is the apex SJW in their toilet bowl ecosystem!

So Anita and Zoe visit the UN, and mere months later the UN is violating Japan’s national sovereignty by attempting to strong-arm them into banning their own culture. It is almost as though Anita has been trying to kill video games at their source: Japan. Feminists are totally not trying to take our games away though, guys!

The Committee strongly urges the State party to ban the sale of video games or cartoons involving rape and sexual violence against women which normalize and promote sexual violence against women and girls. The Committee also recommends that, as indicated in the delegation’s oral assurance during the constructive dialogue, the State party include this issue in its revision of the Act Banning Child Prostitution and Child Pornography.

Please indicate the measures taken to ban the sale of video games or cartoons involving rape and sexual violence against girls and women and to raise awareness among the producers of such materials, in line with the Committee’s general recommendation No. 19 on violence against women. Please also indicate the measures taken to address the mass production, distribution and use of pornographic videos in which women are targets of sexual violence, as well as the portrayal of sexualized commercial images of women.

It is interesting to note that the bulk of their demands of the Japanese government are concerned with “sexual violence”, but just at the end they decide to link this to the far more general ‘portrayal of sexualized commercial images of women‘, which is where they let slip their real agenda. What do sexy images of women have to do with sexual violence? Fucking nothing is what, but feminists would love to be able to link the two within the public perception – and it actually seems to be working in the case of companies like Nintendo, Capcom, and Tecmo Koei.

Looking beyond this, it is perhaps pertinent to ask why this initiative is even required. Ever since the RapeLay incident blew up several years back the Japanese industry has been ‘voluntarily’ self-regulating their products to prevent sexual violence from ending up in games and anime – and we have every reason to believe that they have been successful given the absence of any other such moral outrages in the intervening years.

Concerning video games and films, self-imposed regulation by the industry and its independent rating organizations have been carried out through ratings and reviews of such media containing sexually explicit and violent scenes or scenes including anti-social behavior, to ensure that ethically inappropriate games and films are not distributed.

One gets the very distinct impression that the UN is not trying to ban games which feature sexual violence as normal people would understand it, because those titles are already effectively banned. Rather they are likely applying their own nebulous definition to the term, and they probably consider ‘psychic violence’ to be an actual thing. They are very probably attempting to prevent all our best waifus from whimpering in delight every time circumstances transpire to force Senpai into accidentally copping a feel of their generous bosom! A change in rating systems under a leftwing Australian government saw a game [Atelier Totori Plus] that was rated PG [suitable for children] reclassified to R18+ for strong sexual violence – and one suspects that the UN is working under similar frames of reference. At any rate, the UN will have to make at least some kind of case for their hysterical claim of rampant sexual violence in Japanese entertainment before they are afforded anything other than scorn and ridicule by right-minded people – because right now the accusation is the evidence! And if the UN really wanted some credibility on the issue, then they might consider not passing around emails full of CP!!

Square Enix should give them full access to their 'Chrono' and 'Xeno' franchises, as it would be a good fit.
Tokyo RPG Factory has looked to a classic for inspiration.

Project Setsuna Releases in Japan

One must have completely spaced on the release of Project Setsuna [Ikenie to Yuki no Setsuna], because this gorgeous looking game was released several days back. The piano soundtrack is completely gorgeous, and the game features a number of the trappings of classic RPGs that many of us have been pining for in the modern era. These trappings include nameable characters, giant glowing save points, text only event scenes, event scenes which are not partially occluded by giant character portraits, a fixed angle isometric camera, an ATB system, a world map, and onscreen party members that appear out of nowhere for event scenes like in Final Fantasy VII. It is such a breath of fresh air in the current year!

The Unity engine is fast gaining a reputation as being an engine which achieves horrible results on the PS Vita, and the PS Vita version certainly does nothing to change this. The PS4 version of the game appears to be solid as a rock [as you would expect], but the PS Vita version is plagued by long loading times and slowdown during battles. As previously mentioned Project Setsuna uses an updated version of Chrono Trigger‘s ATB 2.0 system, however it has been garnished with two further gameplay systems. The first is the Setsuna system, whereby the Setsuna gauge fills during battle, and when full players are able press a button in time with a command in order to buff the action they are performing. The second system is the ability for characters to slot in gems which contain both passive and command abilities. As characters level up they gain jewel slots marked as A, C, and S type slots, which stands for All, Command, and Support. The types of gems that can be used fall into seven categories: Wall [reduces damage], Provoke, Firebit [fire attributes increased], Stonebit [petrifies enemies], Caloric [widens various areas of attack], Harvest [HP regen], and Avenger [reflects damage].

Enemies drop materials instead of money, and once materials are sold to shops they can then be used to craft new gems – which effectively eliminates the conundrum of whether to sell materials or keep them for crafting. The Setsuna system is able to interact with both innate as well as jewel abilities and commands. Finally, the game is said to take 20-25 hours to complete, and features a recurring enemy simply known as Scythe Man. Project Setsuna still has a tentative 2016 Western release date, though the final Western name of the game has yet to be officially revealed.

What Celty lacks in head she makes up for in back!
Durarara!! is the tale of a courier in search of head!

Anime Spotlight: Durarara!!X2

Durarara!!X2 follows on from 2010’s Durarara!!, and begins at the point when the peace achieved at the end of the first series begins to fracture. There is a looming turf war between the Dollars and the Yellow Scarfs, which seems to be being exacerbated by a third party. Meanwhile a zealous new motorcycle cop is after Ikebukuro’s fabled Headless Rider. Celty Sturluson is a courier played with warmth by Kari Wahlgren, who also played Asche in Final Fantasy XII, and Karin in Shadow Hearts: Covenant. Celty is also an Irish dullahan who is in Ikebukuro looking for her missing head. Durarara!!X2 is a fantastically energetic and intricately plotted series, which conveys its narrative through the perspective of a massive cast of over ten characters, which each have their own satellite characters.

Because there are so many moving parts to the Durarara!!‘s scenario it is initially a little disorienting to jump into this series without first viewing the original 2010 series, however by around the third episode this author felt sufficiently caught up to become invested in Durarara!!X2 – and subsequently binge-watched up to episode 13 in an evening. As of writing thirty episodes have aired, with a further six to come. If one prefers to watch the dubs then there are currently twenty-four episodes available. Despite ample material suggesting that Durarara!!X2 would begin streaming on January 10 over at Crunchyroll, one was only able to find videos from the original series – so it is anybody’s guess as to what is going on with that. Regardless, Durarara!!X2 is a lot of fun, and as such is highly recommended.


  1. I expect a product that follows as close to the original Japanese release as possible. This whole localization of Fire Emblem Fates was abysmal. It’s not just the fact that they’ve taken out the head patting mini-game, it’s not just the fact that the voice actors had virtually nothing to work with, it’s how these localization teams think because something isn’t suitable for a western audience that they have to completely dumb down the game’s atmosphere. And the fact that mainstream gaming journalistic outlets are praising this game up and down without a mere mention of these changes. This needs to change now. I’m embarrassed for the western audience that they have localization teams that are willing to dumb down a game and put stupid memes and embarrassingly bad dialogue into this game. It’s a purist’s worst nightmare.

  2. IMO this is one of the worst weeks for gaming journalism since “gamers are dead”.

    Reviews completely dropped the ball on both Fire Emblem Fates and Street Fighter V.

  3. I completely disagree with the prejudice against furries and the factual inaccuracies regarding planned parenthood. On to my opinions on the Treehouse of Horror N:

    I personally am a Purist and think that ANY deviation from the Japanese script needs to be critically examined for why and cleared with the writing staff before making any changes. (And even then only if it’s due to some kind of cultural difference or idiom reason why it might not make sense to foreigners.) but this garbage sounds like the level of fan translation. The worst part is that the 3ds still has region locking which prevents us from easily just importing the international versions with the original Japanese script and content but with an English translation/subtitles.

    Anyway I don’t think this is nearly as bad as “Gamers are Dead”. That was pretty heinous. This is just the lowering of the tide before the Tsunami washes over us. I see a dark year ahead. I was hopeful once but now it’s getting dark. There was a time when we had the original and the only one of it’s kind; Natural Safe Space. A place called gaming where we could go to get away from the troubles of the world and none of the cultural or political worries would enter. Where it didn’t matter who you were or what you were as long as you had game or were enthusiastic about them at least you were welcome into our community. Now our homes are facing the greatest natural disaster it may ever face and we can either shutter the windows and board up the doors to prepare for it or get swept up into the angry wave that just wants nothing more than to erase everything that we were and build something foreign.

    I know who I am.

    Gamer isn’t my identity. It isn’t yours either. I enjoy gaming. That is what makes me a gamer. I enjoy talking about games looking at how they sound, play, feel, look, and the story they tell. I enjoy making friends and creating connections with people that enjoy the same games I like.

    When I look to the future though… I am genuinely scared. Not so much about gaming. No. I am more worried about every aspect of my life. As I hear more and more things about this wave. I see more and more how they creep into every aspect of society. I see how they operate and how they win victory after victory and how much they are on the ‘right side of history’.

    Darker days are yet to come friends. I know not yet what they bring but I can sense them and I am afraid.

  4. When I look to the future though… I am genuinely scared. Not so much about gaming. No. I am more worried about every aspect of my life. As I hear more and more things about this wave. I see more and more how they creep into every aspect of society. I see how they operate and how they win victory after victory and how much they are on the ‘right side of history’.

    This is my concern. Games are only an ancillary aspect of this. If you look at what they are doing to the humanities across the board–and logically extend their positions to those things which they have not yet touched–you will readily understand that they pose a Savonarola-like threat to human artistic and philosophical achievement.

    In brief, they lack the kind of critical thinking and appreciation necessary to understand anything beyond the superficial; and consequently they want to lay waste to nearly every challenging aspect of human endeavour, so that they can bring about some sort of sanitised, challenge-free utopia. But all meaningful art, all meaningful human activity, challenges the viewer, the reader, the player. And such challenge is vital because if confronted, it forces people to think.

    I was reading a BBC article the other day about the difficulties in fighting off radicaliation in some communities. The authors wrote, “These young men do not have the ability to reason through their actions; they cannot work out the logic of the arguments with which they are confronted.” That is the kind of world these people want to leave us: where feelings trump all thinking; and then where thinking itself becomes something that people do not know how to do.

    It is worth being afraid.

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