Wow, we finally made it through February and here we are at the very beginning of March! At least, I THINK that is today’s date. Lusipurr does not give me a calendar here and the basement dungeon has no windows. I could easily have been here for years without knowing. Oh well! Let us just make March 2011 the best March we have ever seen! As always these “reviews” are written without actually playing the “games” in question and with 100% bias.
I am not even sure where to begin with this one. Let us just read the game’s description and see if we can figure it out together. “You put him…” Okay, hard stop right there. Who is “him?” Also, who is the player controlling? A doctor or nurse? We really should not expect to know actual important information in these Greenlight games. “…in a psychiatric clinic strict regime and severely beaten for repeated suicide attempt…” Yes, the best way to treat someone with suicidal tendencies is to beat them. Good doctoring there. “…and for the murder of his wife Lucy.” Oh, well now the beatings make sense! “You have to get out of the clinic and take revenge on all those who contributed to your capture…” Wait, I thought WE were the captors? Unless the controlling character changes? Kind of like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid 2. “…and for cruel izbeenie himself a native.” What? Who? What…. I do not even care anymore. “Solve puzzles, find the keys to the door and look do not be afraid of what you would get in the way to do it all.” Okay, I cannot even grasp what this last part is meant to say. Honestly, I do not even want to try!
Best Comment: Rasen: “What an appropriate title. Because it’s what the audience is saying as well.”
Best Comment: SubUmbra: “Please try a new fad.”
Another RPG Maker pile of garbage! What “new” and “innovate” features does this one promise? Let us check the game’s description! “Beacon of Hope is a classic ATB-style RPG with a difficulty level that promises a challenging…” NOPE! “…yet rewarding…” NOPE again! “…take on the classic formula.” Meaning “I do not have any real ideas, so I am going to steam from every Final Fantasy game ever.” “Featuring a host of characters…” None of which you will care about, because they will all be your typical weeaboo garbage personalities. “…optional areas and side quests…” None of which you will play, because nobody will even care enough about this game to play the main story “…and a branching storyline with over 10+ total hours of gameplay…” None of which you will get through, because both RPG Maker and Steam Greenlight are garbage. Two negatives do NOT make a positive. Unless you are in math class. “…follow Corwin Ambermoon…” Seriously? That is what you are going to name the hero of this “epic” quest? That sounds like a rejected name from The Hunger Games. “…on his quest across the land to try and stop the traitorous King Bellmare from destroying the world of Five Realms. Can you be the Beacon of Hope?” NO!
Best Comment: Lato: “He’s only been using RPG Maker for 8 days and thinks his game should be on Steam!!!!!???”