BREAKING NEWS: Leaked Footage of Lusipurr Playing Fable

At 9:24 A.M. EST today footage of Lusipurr allegedly playing Fable was uploaded to the YouTube channel “Gamers4Fable.” The footage has since been removed. However, we here at Lusipurr.com, in our never ending mission to provide our readers with the truth, have received a leaked picture of Lusipurr’s room with a Fable box on his shelf. When confronted about the leaked footage, Lusipurr responded that he was just holding the game “for a friend.” He then pushed our reporters aside claiming to have an urgent appointment at the local cricket store.

Fake or real? Only our readers can make that decision.

Pictured here is Lusipurr himself with a Fable box on his shelf.

Lusipurr.com’s crack team of photoshop experts have investigated this picture and unanimously concluded that it is, in fact, real. However, there has been no confirmation that the leaked video is also real. There are many other questions the public needs answers to: who leaked the footage? Why was the footage leaked? Who recorded it in the first place? Why would Lusipurr lie to his fans for all these years about his hatred for Fable? We may never know the truth, but Lusipurr.com will update this article as more information is released.

1:15 P.M. EST UPDATE: Lusipur has released a statement about the leaked footage. We have included highlights from the statement below, but the release in its entirety can be read here.

Allegedly.

An artist’s representation of what Lusipurr does during his time with Fable.

“I apologize to all my fans for lying to them for so many years. Yes, that was me playing Fable. I do not hate the series at all. In fact, I like it more than cricket. Any time I am not playing Fable I am thinking about what to do in my game next.”

Lusipurr then goes on to say why he was playing Fable instead of Fable 2: “Yes, I was playing the first game in the series, even though the second one is much better. Yes, the entire series IS crap, but at least I was not playing that crappy Kinect version, right?”

Looks like frickin' Santa got BUFF!

Lusipur’s confirmed Fable character.

The famed website owner offered to field any questions, but since this statement was given while he was alone in his room, there was nobody to respond. Due to public outcry and pressure, Lusipurr ended his statement by stepping down from his post and handing the website over to Nate “Bup” Liles. Liles immediately shut the site down and sold it to Kotaku.

4 comments on “BREAKING NEWS: Leaked Footage of Lusipurr Playing Fable”

  1. What a load of hooey!

    1. That picture is an OBVIOUS photoshop. My office has beige-coloured walls. And, I only wear cravats at home, not bow-ties! Bow-ties are for work.

    2. I don’t even own any chickens.

    3. I would NEVER create a character with facial hair! That would be uncivilised.

    4. Turn the site over to Bup? TURN THE SITE OVER TO BUP?

    HA! HA HA HA! NEVER! NEVER!!!

  2. I’m at a loss for words. That photo… And so prominently displayed! Disgusting. I would stop visiting Lusipurr.com if not for Bup. He is the last bastion of honesty in journalism loyal readers now have.

    Bup, we salute you. This article needed to be written. Just… Thanks.

  3. To his credit, Lusipurr did deny the allegations. But is this enough? We all know that silence is tantamount to admission, but was his response too emphatic? Some say that yes, it was.

    In fact, in a case study involving resident(s) of Kalamazoo, MI, as many as one of the test subject(s) were not fully convinced of Mr. Lusipurr’s innocence.

    As long as there exists the slightest shadow of doubt, these allegations must be addressed – until this all becomes uninteresting, at which point we will forget all of it.

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