News: Nintendo’s Alison Rapp Is an Alleged Prostitute

Spare a thought for the most cucked man on the internet.
Rapp has increased her bargaining position: Who wouldn’t want to pay a few dollars to blow their load across the public face of Nintendo?

… And Her Husband Is a Literal Cuck!

Two weeks ago reported that the reason that confirmed pedophile supporter Alison Rapp had been fired from Nintendo Treehouse was because of softcore pornography photo shoots that she was attempting to sell online. This would have been a great reason to fire her, as would have been the fact that she supports the legalisation of child pornography, yet it would appear that there is an even more likely candidate than these two marks against her character. It would seem that somebody who had been digging into Alison Rapp’s online presence had discovered that she was allegedly moonlighting as a Seattle prostitute, selling her body for $250 an hour. Prostitution is illegal in Washington. For the last couple of weeks the liberal regressive press has been denouncing Nintendo, saying that Nintendo were merely caving in to the pressure exerted by gamers, and gamers would thereby be further emboldened to be horrible little misogynists. Turns out there was precious little else that Nintendo could have done, as the intensely image conscious company had a literal prostitute on their payroll, and serving as their public face at that! How the fuck did that happen?

How did it happen? Well it would seem that the simplest explanation is that the Treehouse HR department found itself dominated by SJWs, and from there HR pozzed the rest of Treehouse beyond any hope of rehabilitation by predominantly hiring people from within their own clique while turning a blind eye to types of controversial [and illegal] behaviour that they themselves are sympathetic to. This is evidenced by the unusual concentration of radical leftists that Treehouse has been visibly seen to employ; largely concerning themselves with butchering game localisations and antagonising Nintendo customers on Twitter. Now Nintendo of America would be best served by amputating Treehouse, and disposing of that entire division with cleansing fire – as that is the only way to prevent contagion throughout the rest of the company.

Ultimately what we have here is a bunch of knee jerk ideologues raking Nintendo across the coals for firing someone who was a very obvious liability even before her streetwalker status was revealed, and now it turns out that there was pretty much nothing that Nintendo could have done differently. Even if prostitution was legal in Washington, which is not the case, even then Nintendo would have suffered irreparable damage to their image by keeping on a known prostitute as their PR spokesman. Nintendo may suffer a little damage to their brand regardless, but at least there is not the ongoing association with Rapp to perpetuate it.

Rapp has torched her career. She will not be doing PR for any sizable corporation after this fiasco, but in one’s humble opinion she is not worth feeling sorry for. If Rapp had lost her job for previously working as a prostitute at some point in the past then that would be fairly heartbreaking, but instead Alison actively sought prostitution work while working for Nintendo as a PR rep, knowing full well what it would mean for Nintendo’s reputation if she were discovered – but perhaps that is just the risk companies run by employing individuals from the MEllennial generation. If there is somebody worth feeling sorry for in all of this then it is probably her hopelessly cucked husband, Jake Rapp [yes, he took her last name]. Jake appears to have been a good Christian kid who sought dating advice from his Pastor before meeting her, yet Alison took him and turned him out to the point where he is now a gay prostitute with a ‘Prince Albert’ piercing in the head of his penis – and now thanks to Alison the entire internet knows about his complete debasement. One at least hopes that maybe this situation will prove shocking enough to open up a window of possibility for the poor guy to be red pilled by the people in his life who actually care about his well being [assuming they have not already been frozen out by Alison]. And there is a silver lining for Alison too; sure, she may have completely obliterated her career in PR, but she is now the biggest celebrity prostitute in the world of gaming, and so she could probably raise her hourly rate and make a killing from all of the thirsty cunts at NeoGaf.

How much more insanity can this story generate?

[CURRENT YEAR] is a great reason to change EVERYTHING!
Final Fantasy VII Remake is being designed for [CURRENT YEAR].

Hironobu Sackaguchi: Yoshinori Kitase Is a Bad Producer

Famitsu hosted a NicoNico Live stream this week to promote the forthcoming release of Final Fantasy XV, which was presented by the game’s director, Hajime Tabata, and the father of Final Fantasy himself, Hironobu Sackaguchi. Sackaguchi was quite drunk off of wine, and [as is often the case with drinkers] he let slip a rather unguarded comment. Amid praising Tabata’s talents as a director, Hironobu Sackaguchi mentioned as an aside that he thinks Yoshinori Kitase is a bad producer. At this point the men all burst out laughing while the social media feed scrolling across the screen became filled with comments like “WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW“, which is basically the Japanese equivalent of typing ‘lololololololololol’. Hajime Tabata then hurriedly blurted “I respect Kitase’s producing ability“, before the show cut to commercial break. Perfect. Upon returning from break Sackaguchi attempted to backpedal from his comment, but he need not have bothered. The audience knew it for the truth. As a director Yoshinori Kitase has been responsible for the creation of most of the best Squaresoft games in the company’s history, but as a producer he has gone on to oversee many of the worst products in the Square Enix catalogue. He is responsible for giving Motomu Toriyama enough rope to hang himself, and he is now overseeing the rape of Final Fantasy VII.

Speaking with Game Informer Kitase has revealed that Final Fantasy VII Remake‘s director, Tetsuya Nomura, feels that realtime combat in the series is best represented by Dissidia: Final Fantasy. That is what is regarded as best practice. Floaty junk.

As our director [Tetsuya] Nomura-san says, Final Fantasy (in terms of action games) is best represented by Dissidia in the current landscape. In terms of the Final Fantasy action battles people have experienced themselves, that is most familiar to them these days. In terms of the image of the battle system, that’s where we’re getting the feel from. It won’t be as action-focused as Dissidia, of course, but the the visuals and how the gameplay feels in essence will be drawn from that Dissidia-esque style.

Great. Final Fantasy VII‘s combat will be just Dissidia! Floaty worthless junk! What role can materia even play in this situation? Will materia be accessed by pulling off a shoryuken? Game Informer explicitly asked Kitase why a faithful remake of Final Fantasy VII was not adopted, as many fans of the original game wanted:

Some fans seem to want a remake that is mainly visual upgrades, with none of the story or gameplay altered. Was that ever considered for the project?

To which Kitase replied:

The starting point was – and our executive producer [Shinji] Hashimoto-san has mentioned this – it would even be okay if we just upped the graphics to the quality of Advent Children. But, in terms of game styles and battle systems, it’s been 20 years since the original, and a lot has changed. Trends have changed, and I believed that we needed to revisit and rethink that aspect for the remake.”

Great. Final Fantasy VII‘s well received ATB battle system has to be changed because it is [CURRENT YEAR]. [CURRENT YEAR] is a great reason for changing everything fans enjoyed about the original game – that logic is watertight! How fortunate for us that Square Enix has adopted the Justin Trudeau design philosophy for making video games! But why stop there? Surely the game’s cast and story should be redesigned for [CURRENT YEAR] too? Phew, well it seems that this bad Square Enix producer has us covered. Just in case Final Fantasy VII fans were worried that characters from the extended Final Fantasy VII universe would not make an appearance, Kitase has revealed that the team is working hard to retcon in characters that were created during the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII cluster fuck:

It’s not to say that all or some of the characters from the spin-offs or other Compilation works will appear in the remake, but if there are any areas where we can use the settings or the characters, we do want to try to incorporate it in there, so it gives off that sense of nuance and those other stories existing.

There may be instances where the characters appear themselves, or are just referenced in dialogue. But, of course, it would be difficult to follow up on everything that happened in this universe. So, maybe some of the characters who weren’t as famous won’t appear or be mentioned. But in terms of the characters and instances that remain in the memories of our fans, we do want to try our best to integrate that in some fashion in the world.

This is fantastic news for fans of beloved Final Fantasy VII characters like Weiss the Immaculate and Gackt. Final Fantasy VII is so stunning and brave for [CURRENT YEAR]! Please buy a lot!

Consistent messaging, what's that?
Clearly not a game for [CURRENT YEAR]!

I Am Setsuna Director Curb Stomps Kitase’s Anti-ATB Propaganda

It is [CURRENT YEAR] too for Square Enix subsidiary Tokyo RPG Factory, yet funnily enough they seem to be operating under the mistaken assumption that great battle systems are timeless. Chrono Trigger may have been an instant classic that is still often referenced even today in the [CURRENT YEAR] as being the most flawless JRPG ever produced, yet it would be unthinkable to release an RPG with Chrono Trigger‘s battle system today because it is [CURRENT YEAR], and that sort of thing is just not done. Despite this immutable fact the madmen at Tokyo RPG Factory actually intend to this [CURRENT] year release a game into the West which features and ATB command-based battle system, which we all know to be the worst thing ever in [CURRENT YEAR]. This week Tokyo RPG Factory’s Atsushi Hashimoto was interviewed by SIliconera, and was arrogant enough to not even apologise once for using such an antiquated battle system throughout the entire discussion:

I feel there is a trend that a lot of games, even RPGs have leaned towards action oriented combat. Tokyo RPG Factory’s mission for I am Setsuna was to bring back the turn based RPG battle system which worked really well in the golden era of JRPGs. We wanted to feature that in the game. I can’t say for all of our titles that will be a characteristic we will incorporate, but turn based battle systems were one of the charms in the 90s.

When asked whether people’s preference was based purely on nostalgia, Hashimoto went on to unrepentantly claim:

I believe turn-based battle systems can be loved by all. It’s an interesting system that I hope even younger gamers who aren’t familiar with this style of RPG will enjoy. There are other elements in the game that draw players in. In the story, we put a lot of effort into making it interesting. As well as the motifs illustrated in the game. There is a lot of snow in the world which plays a crucial role within the narrative. The background music has a lot of piano that also helps illustrate the environment and world of I am Setsuna. I hope with all of these elements even the newer generation will also take notice that this is something new and refreshing.

This is completely nutty. It is not even as though Tokyo RPG Factory are using this battle system out of laziness, as they seem to have taken great pains to recreate the flow of gameplay found in their primary inspiration, Chrono Trigger:

We wanted to make I am Setsuna as seamless as possible. We felt Chrono Trigger did transitioning into the battle sequence from the field so well that was the look we wanted to achieve. We did a lot of research on how we could achieve that and not interrupt the immersion factor for the players and be able to keep a good tempo with the narrative.

One of the ways we did research is we went back and played Chrono Trigger. We measured the time it took while you’re moving around the field, how long it took to move a certain distance, and how long a battle was. Then we measured how long a transition took and wrote down the numbers for each action. After we gathered the data, we looked at how the flow was structured and we tried to derive how much time you can spend on certain transitions to keep that good pacing for a player to be comfortable and satisfied with the tempo to have an exhilarating gameplay experience. From that information, we would apply it to how I am Setsuna was structured. For example, if we inserted some loading time here I think the players won’t experience any kind of discomfort. We started building the structure based on what we believed was a good progressive pace.

Bah, there is nothing progressive about spurning the prevailing trends in [CURRENT YEAR]. Everyone only likes things one way, and that one way is how they like it! It is not as though one would find Pokemon using such a retrograde command-based battle system in [CURRENT YEAR], which is precisely why Pokemon became a super button-mashy action RPG years ago. Square Enix need to put a lid on this craziness

They should have just cast a black actor - they'd have been applauded for that.
I know the casting seems obnoxious, but the film is going to be so bad that it should hardly matter.

Anime Opinion: SJWs and Weebs Join Hands in Condemning ‘Ghost in the Shell’ (2017) for Whitewashing

This week the condemnations have been coming in thick and fast for Ghost in the Shell (2017), after news came to light that ghastly white actress Scarlett Johansson would be playing the role of Motoko Kusanagi, a character who had a Japanese background in the original source material, and people have been absolutely losing their shit. Regressive liberals are talking about this event as though it were a prelude to a second holocaust, as apparently there are no roles for Asian actors and Asian identity is being erased. Meanwhile the weebs are basically up in arms because this is a change that is being made from the source material. Here is the thing though, Ghost in the Shell (2017) was never going to be faithful to the source material. The movie has been in production limbo for almost as long as live action Akira, and none of the details to emerge have been any more promising. The fact that either Ghost in the Shell or Akira exist at all as live action Hollywood productions should be held as deeply offensive to any fans of the source material, but within the context of both projects being hulking piles of shit, the fact that a non-Japanese actress has been cast as Kusanagi does not seem like such a big deal. This is not to say that fundamentally altering a beloved character for greater appeal is not deeply offensive in itself, but how many fans of Ghost in the Shell were ever all that keen to watch a terrible Hollywood adaption of their cherished anime?

This live action film adaption exists for the same reason as any of the awful reboots and remakes floating around Hollywood at present. The industry is terminally uncreative, and so properties like Ghost in the Shell are licensed as a shortcut to thinking. This is not a film that is being created for fans of Ghost in the Shell. The film’s intended audience does not even know that the anime or manga exist. Dreamworks is spending $100,000,000 on the film’s budget, and likely the same again on its marketing – and because of this they want a well recognised and bankable actor to assume the lead role, because money. Lucy Liu had been lined-up to play Kusanagi years ago when the project was first mooted, but she is obviously too old to play the lead now, and Hollywood does not have any other Lucy Lius at present.

Hollywood is not being racist or attempting to erase any kind of identity, they are simply risk averse and do not have a more culturally appropriate leading lady available for the role. And there are plenty of film roles available to Asian actors by the way; they all exist in the excellent South Korean and Japanese film industries [which feature comparatively few non-Asian actors]. When one gets down to it, most of the people to have been quoted by regressive leftist outlets for kicking up a fuss about Johansson’s casting have themselves been mediocre Asian-American actors, so self-interest obviously comes into the equation. They would love to sleepwalk their way into the lead role on account of their heritage because they could not get access to such a role based on their accomplishments alone. At any rate, as someone who enjoys anime the casting of Scarlett Johansson as Motoko Kusanagi is deeply offensive, but no more so than the very existence of this film as a whole.


  1. Yeahhh…. I hope FF7 bombs and I Am Setsuna SOARS. Then maybe we can get a remixed version with more than just Piano music. (cause as pretty as the Piano music is I do like a little variety.)

  2. If FF7 bombs (as it should), they will blame it on the game being “unsuitable” for the market, and will say things like, “This just goes to show that games like FF7 no longer appeal to people,” instead of taking the actual lesson that FUCKING WITH A BELOVED CLASSIC IS A BAD IDEA.

    I firmly believe that the people in charge of FFXV and FFVII Remake are incapable of accepting that THEIR view of good gameplay is not the same as the FANS’ view of good gameplay; and, moreover, that they will blame the market/trends/[CURRENT YEAR] before they accept that there might be something wrong with their own predilections.

  3. Until the company is on hard rocks and suffering they won’t accept that they made a mistake. THEY will decide what the market likes. I think they are looking at the sales of the ports and Advanced remakes and DS remake of Chrono Trigger and deciding that because they only added minor content and didn’t do a complete overhaul and thinking that they have to do something different. Basically they don’t want to make RPGs anymore. That’s the way I see it. Nobody wants to make RPGs anymore. Isn’t it the easiest game type to create? Technically speaking the RPG ATB system is easier than creating games where you have full and complete movement. FF13 and 13-2 both had a sort of ATB but it was dumbed down… I am confused why they did that honestly. I wonder sometimes if it’s because of those two games that they decided that our complaints about the battle system meant we didn’t like ATB.

  4. I hope Ghost in the Shell doesn’t suck, but Hollywood hasn’t had a great track record with live action anime adaptations (see Speed Racer).

  5. Hollywood often gets into this mode where writers and producers will strip any of the soul that the original content had. I often wish that the original writers were sourced and obeyed when it came to production but I know that it’s not ‘what sells.’ Often I imagine the studios will purchase up the rights to a medium only to produce a B film and produce just enough income to write the rest off or get them along to the next production. I think we can name at least three movies that felt that way. Most of them being movie adaptations of video games and anime.

    As for Ghost in the Shell I think it would be the BEST opportunity to introduce Anime to those that haven’t been hooked just yet and it just has to be done right. If they go at it Underworld style and make the movie dynamic and enjoyable much like the Anime then I think we’ll have a winner here. On the other hand lets just hope people don’t continue to pitch a bitch about the lead role being played by a non-Japanese woman. I am not sure about Scarlett Johansson playing the part myself but maybe if they put her in full makeup and make her out to look as close to the source material then we’ll see… Then there is her acting capability- will she be able to capture her HARD ASS attitude calm under pressure and sexy badassery… I hope so.

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