Feature: Summer of Smash

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! (well, actually, four, and, really, in a way, everyone is a winner.)
Final Destination — the final destination for our tournament.

The summer has arrived–and, with it, the annual Lusipurr.com Donation Drive!

Flash back to the summer of 2009: Lusipurr.com launches the first site-wide, participatory feature, a playthrough of Final Fantasy IX. Now, flash forward to the summer of 2016: Lusipurr.com launches another site-wide feature, this time for a Smash Bros. Tournament. Now flash back again to the Summer of 2011: Lusipurr.com launches a Summer Fundraiser drive. Now flash forward again to the summer of 2016 as Lusipurr.com refines the Summer Fundraiser once again in an attempt to give readers even more participation than ever before (as evaluated on a sliding, relative-scale evaluative matrix). For the present, hold temporal position as the preceding series of flash backs and flash forwards momentarily pauses.

Overview: Time to flash forward to the second paragraph of this featured post: Lusipurr.com begins an explanation of the fundraiser rules, terms, and conditions for the benefit of would-be participants. At the beginning of June, a Smash Bros. for Wii U Tournament will be held without any human players. Instead, the tournament will use Amiibo figure players, fully levelled but without customisation. Each Amiibo will represent a donation in the Summer Fundraiser. All events will be broadcast live on Twitch, with commentary from Lusipurr and other staff members as available. Flash forward to a list of prizes.

Each plastic figure carries the hopes and prayers of a donator, driven to an act of desperate charity by a desire to make Lusipurr play miserable games.
Now you have the chance to be physically represented by a plastic trinket!

First Place: A Lusipurr-completed playthrough and featured review (at least 1,000 words) of the selected game (exclusions apply as below).
Second and Third Place: A Lusipurr weekly livestream episode of at least one hour playing the selected game (handheld games excluded), with associated commentary. Other staff members may be included to commentate as available.
Fourth Place: A hardcover copy of The Once and Future King signed by Lusipurr, and inscribed with a personalised message for the winner.
All Participants: Entry into the end-of-the-year drawing to win a new game on Amazon or Steam valued at up to $60 US.
Shipping Note: Physical prizes require the provision of a mailing address.

How to Participate
1. Each $5 donated will allow for the selection of an Amiibo from the display below. Unclaimed Amiibos are transparent in the image. The image is updated daily.
2. Entrants will select the available Amiibo of their choice, and will post their selection in the comments thread below. Once an Amiibo has been claimed, it may not be claimed by any other entrant. (Note that if the Cloud, Bayonetta, and Corrin Amiibos are not available in early June, max-level CPU players will be used instead).
3. Entrants will also select a game of their choice, subject to the exclusions below. Once a game has been selected, it may not be selected again for any other entry.
4. Stages may not be selected by entrants. For each non-final round, stages will be chosen at random, in advance, from a list provided by Lusipurr, with each stage on the list used once. In non-final rounds, item availability will be on, with default load-out and frequency.
5. The final round will be played on Final Destination with no items.
6. Donations will be accepted until midnight (US Eastern), 1 June, 2016. The tournament bracket is available online in the post below, and will be updated with a daily broadcast schedule at a variety of times. Broadcasts will take place in the first two weeks of June.
7. Multiple entries are permitted. Staff members may participate as well.

Defaulting to the use of items in non-Final stages is a nod to house rules at Castle Lusipurr, where the standard game format is a Stock 3, No Time, Default Items match with players taking turns to select stages.
The tournament uses both default and FD/NI formats, to appease both camps.

Tournament Format
• Battles will be set to three stock with a fifteen minute timer (used to enforce a result).
• In the event of a tie, the winner will be determined by coin toss.
• In the qualifying and knock-out rounds, eight characters compete in a single battle with the top four characters proceeding to the next round.
• In the quarter-final and semi-final rounds, four characters compete in a single battle with the top two characters proceeding to the next round.
• For non-Final rounds, stages are selected from a list at random with default item activation, as given above.
• The Final round takes place between four characters in a single battle, competing for first through fourth place.
• The Final round will be played on Final Destination with no items.

Game Selection
Platforms: Available for play on Nintendo consoles or handhelds (excluding Virtual Boy), Sony consoles or handhelds, Sega Genesis, or Steam for Mac OS X.
Region: Released in the North America region in English.
Publisher: Legitimately published full releases: no self-published, pre-release, knock-off, unofficial, browser, or otherwise incomplete titles.
Availability: In circumstances where availability is a problem (due to scarcity, cost, or compatibility), entrants will be offered the chance to select an alternative game or receive a refund.
Exclusions: No MMOs, no games requiring a subscription or monetary transactions, and no non-game ‘entertainment software’ (i.e. there must be valid victory/defeat conditions, rules, possibility of failure, etc.). Games with an online component may be rejected at Lusipurr’s discretion. In addition, several games have already received a full LusiReview and are excluded from selection: Deadly Towers, Eternal Sonata, Fable, Ghosts ‘n Goblins, Milon’s Secret Castle, and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

The roster for the tournament is complete!
All characters are claimed! Stretch Goals, ho!

Characters and Games Selected
Bayonetta: Tactics Ogre (Sebastian)
Bowser: The 7th Guest (Sebastian)
Bowser Jr.: Suikoden Tierkreis (Imitanis)
Captain Falcon: Battlestoads and Double Dragon (Lane)
Charizard: Infinite Space (Imitanis)
Cloud: Final Fantasy VII (Sebastian)
Corrin: Legend of Dragoon (Tim P.)
Dark Pit: Final Fantasy Legend II (Lane)
Diddy Kong: Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) (Imitanis)
Donkey Kong: Brave Fencer Musashi (Lane)
Dr. Mario: Lester the Unlikely (Lane)
Duck Hunt: Kingdom Hearts (Imitanis)
Falco: Fist of the North Star (Lane)
Fox: Streets of Rage (Corrine)
Ganondorf: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 (Sebastian)
Greninja: Persona 4 (Tim P.)
Ike: Star Ocean: Till the End of Time (Legendary Zoltan)
Jigglypuff: Daikatana (Corrine)
King Dedede: TMNT (Lane)
Kirby: Trauma Center: New Blood (Deb)
Link: The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (Dancing Matt)
Little Mac: Super Pitfall (Lane)
Lucario: Jade Cocoon 2 (Imitanis)
Lucas: Rap Jam Vol. 1 (Lane)
Lucina: Secret of Mana (Dancing Matt)
Luigi: Banjo-Kazooie (Corrine)
Mario: Suikoden (Imitanis)
Marth: Uniracers (Lane)
Mega Man: Mega Man 2 (Dancing Matt)
Mewtwo: Final Fantasy Tactics (Lane)
Meta Knight: Tazmania (Lane)
Mii Brawler: Baten Kaitos (Lane)
Mii Gunner: Super Castlevania IV (Lane)
Mii Swordfighter: Vandal Hearts (Lane)
Mr. Game & Watch: Disgaea (Imitanis)
Ness: Mega Man X (Lane)
Olimar: Mario Party (Corrine)
Pac-Man: Fallout 3 (Imitanis)
Palutena: Valkyrie Profile (Legendary Zoltan)
Peach: Hey You, Pikachu! (Corrine)
Pikachu: Pokemon Yellow (Imitanis)
Pit: The Secret of Monkey Island, Classic (Dancing Matt)
R.O.B. The World Ends with You (Jububale)
Robin: Grandia (Imitanis)
Rosalina: Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria (Legendary Zoltan)
Roy: Star Ocean: The Last Hope (Legendary Zoltan)
Ryu: Earthbound (Imitanis)
Samus: Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine (Corrine)
Sheik: Willow (Dancing Matt)
Shulk: Suikoden II (Cari)
Sonic: Final Fantasy VIII (Imitanis)
Toon Link: Persona 4: Dancing All Night (Imitanis)
Villager: Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals (Lane)
Wario: Fester’s Quest (Dancing Matt)
Wii Fit Trainer: Contra III: Alien Wars (Lane)
Yoshi: Shaq-Fu (Lane)
Zelda: Super Baseball Simulator 1000 (Lane)
Zero Suit Samus: Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance (Lane)

The resemblance to Bowser Jr. is uncanny.
Adeki, Loser

Adeki for Losers: UNLOCKED!
Nothing says “I’m a Lusipurr.com Reader!” like being a loser, because at Lusipurr.com, Losers are Winners™! (Note: Just like Adeki, losers are still also losers). Losers deserve something, too–usually a swift kick in the pants–and this tournament recognises the contributions that losers make to the world in general. Upon reaching this stretch goal, a Loser Bracket will be created comprised of the eight individual last-place finishers taken from the qualifying rounds of the tournament.
• The last-place entrant in the Loser Bracket will get the same rewards as the second- and third-place finishers in the tournament with the following changes:
• Adeki will be forced to play through (or, if Adeki lacks the correct hardware, commentate upon Lusipurr playing) the last place entry, after which Adeki will review it for the site.
• Lusipurr will also write a song commemorating the last-place entrant’s complete and utter defeat, which Adeki will perform LIVE on camera whilst dancing and wearing a sombrero.
Get out there and lose some games, loser! You deserve it!

Do NOT feed it after midnight, and take care, lest it become sober.
SiliconNooB, Drunk

Poetically AustralianNooB: UNLOCKED!
When people think ‘Lusipurr.com’, they also think ‘what the hell is that’ and ‘did he say Lucifer’. But sometimes, if they are a reader and generously inclined, they also think, ‘high culture’ and ‘literature’ and ‘please God don’t let Bup be on the podcast’. Upon reaching this stretch goal, Lusipurr will create long-form poetic evaluations (i.e. poetical reviews) of the first-, second-, and third-place game entries, written in the form of Galileo’s A Dialogue Concerning Two World Systems, albeit much shorter, much more poetic (probably), and much less scientifically accomplished (definitely).
• SiliconNooB will perform these dialogues on the podcast, utilising the wide range of voice acting prowess which he lately displayed at InfoNewsNow!, where his ‘Scottish Lady’ voice won numerous awards and has resulted in him being banned for life from Edinburgh.
• Note: SiliconNooB will probably need to be very drunk in order to be persuaded to do this task, so there may be some noticeable vocal slurring and/or a fist-fight with Lusipurr.
Nothing says ‘Australia’ like a drunken punch-out!

What is there to say? Nothing. There is nothing to say.
Bup, Boor

Bupcentric: UNLOCKED! This is it. This is the big one. And what else could it be but a complete Bup-centric overhaul of our content? For one week, (and one week only) running Sunday to Sunday, Lusipurr.com will be completely controlled by Bup:
• Bup will select the news, and dictate the approach, for SiliconNooB’s weekly news post.
• Bup will determine the topic, scope, and overall content for Adeki’s weekly editorial.
• Bup will finally have a week off from the Greenlight Round-Up. Instead, Lusipurr will take his place and will be forced to play and review Steam Greenlight games selected by Bup.
• Bup will select Adeki’s livestream game for the Sunday stream, and Bup will force Lusipurr to do the Steam Greenlight stream. For his part, Bup will stream games that he likes, such as Fallout and Don’t Shit Your Pants.
• Finally, most worryingly, most terrifyingly of all, Bup will host, direct, and otherwise control the Starlight Megaphone podcast, to be renamed ‘The Fartbutt MegaBup’ (for one week).
And may the Lord God almighty have mercy upon us all.

[Click to view the Tournament Bracket]

FIRST PLACE – Ness: Mega Man X for the SNES (Lane)
SECOND PLACE – Falco: Fist of the North Star for the NES (Lane)
THIRD PLACE – Wii Fit Trainer: Contra III: Alien Wars for the SNES (Lane)
LOSER BRACKET – Captain Falcon: Battletoads and Double Dragon for the NES (Lane)


  1. Donated $20, so here are my selections:

    1. Sonic, Final Fantasy 8 (well, someone had to do it)
    2. Ryu, Earthbound (not all the games need to be painful)
    3. Pikachu, Pokemon Yellow (selected by my son, blame him)
    4. Mario, Suikoden (a favourite of mine)

    I’ll probably pick up some more later, but I’ll let others pick a few characters first.

  2. Awwww I wish I could donate right now because I want to pick Shulk… (trained to counter kill.)

  3. Donated $20, and as you will see my wife is very interested in the contest (and thoroughly delighted by her own selections):

    Corrine’s Picks
    Samus – Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine
    Luigi – Banjo-Kazooie
    Olimar – Mario Party (Lusi plays only the mini game “Tug o’ War” for at least one straight hour)

    Sebastian’s Pick
    Cloud – Final Fantasy VII (as Imitanis said, not all games must be painful)

  4. @Seb: I can review all of Mario Party, but I can’t just play and review a part of the game. Sorry! You can choose a replacement if you would prefer.

  5. @Lusipurr: Somehow the idea of making you have to twirl the N64 control stick – essentially rendering it useless and creating a large blister in the palm of your hand – was hilarious. We may never understand.

    Corrine’s alternate pick (if permitted): Garry the Game

  6. Re-reading the rules, I see a Game Jolt crap game isn’t going to cut it. Sorry, Corrine. Mario Party it is!!

  7. @Seb: I am surprised that Corrine did not choose the Corrin Amiibo!

  8. @Lusi: As am I, though she does feel rather offended that … he? … has a name so close to hers.

  9. @Seb Not their real name anyway. It’s Kamui. Just another relic of the Treehouse.

  10. @Lusipurr Probably not. It’s just a stupid Localization stereotype that people don’t like things that are foreign. I might be a minority but I LOVEEEEEE love love me some Japanese culture, history, and language. That’s why I like JRPGs you morons (Talking to localization teams and idiot Japanese gaming devs.)

    I wonder if it’s because the Japanese are kinda isolationist so they think everyone else is like that…

  11. @Cari: I do not think that you are in the minority. Thinking Humanity in general loves in its art that which is culturally provocative and unique, as long as it conforms to the rudest aesthetic principles.

    After all, who would want to read a translated edition of The Tale of Genji where the efforts of these witless ‘localisation experts’ have been applied? Suddenly, it would be the Tale of George, concerning his lady love, Annie, and taking place not in Harima but in North Dakota. The story would be much shorter, as well, since anything problematic would be cut. This isn’t localisation, it is wholesale cultural bigotry–the antithesis of acceptance or diversity. It is based on destroying that which is ‘foreign’ to make it more palatable to those who are ‘domestic’. The practise is revolting.

    That is why I loathe Treehouse and their ilk, who are situated throughout the game industry, giving each other references and congratulating themselves on their moral superiority on Tumblr. If we apply their principles to a book or a movie, we see at once how thoroughly disgusting they actually are. Far from being the moral guardians of art and culture, they are actually antiaesthetic bigots, perpetrating a colonial neutering of foreign cultures.

  12. ROUND TWO. $20 more pledged, with selections as follows:

    Bayonetta – Tactics Ogre
    Ganondorf – Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2

    Peach – Hey You, Pikachu!
    Fox – Streets of Rage

  13. @Lusipurr Amen to that. Meanwhile if you DO appreciate and show interests in foreign ideas and cultures… Cultural Appropriation heh.

  14. @Deb You didn’t want to make him play Rune Factory??? (Mwahahaha)

  15. @deb I knew you were going to pick Kirby!! But guessed cooking mama or harvest moon for the game. I can’t be right alllll the time ;)

  16. @Seb Rune Factory was an extremely tempting choice. However, Trauma Center has the healing touch. Who can pass up on that!?

  17. @Deb Two things. 1.) Deb looks suspiciously close to Seb, and therefore I question whether you are real, or simply an alter-ego unknown even to myself. 2.) I haven’t played Trauma Center, but the idea of performing surgery using a stylus on a DS give me anxiety.

  18. @Corrine: Most excited? Probably Final Fantasy VII or Suikoden. I think the latter would make for a better review, although the former is my favourite game, full stop.

    Least excited? It’s a secret. It is safer not to say.

  19. @lusipurr perhaps you would be willing to reveal this secret after the results are in?

  20. @Corrine: If he does, it’s going on every list until someone succeeds in getting Lusi to play it.

  21. @imitanis Ahhh true. Hadn’t thought of that. He could add it to the exclusions list! It’s a win win. Curiosity is satisfied and he never has to worry about it again! (This is my last attempt ;) ).

  22. @Corrine All you need to do is listen through the entire back-catalogue of MAP/TSM podcasts (as I have) to determine, with high accuracy, which title would most torture Lusi.

  23. ENTIRE.

    I cannot emphasize this point. (If for no other reason than to elicit sympathy.)

  24. I went for an obvious one with my first choice. I’ll pick another when I get to a second lot of donations.

  25. The last I knew about this, you had the $5 and $10 donation difference for amiibos related or unrelated to the game. It looks like this has been dropped?

  26. For my $20 donation, I choose you

    1) Mega Man – Mega Man 2
    2) Link – Legend Of Zelda: Wind Waker
    3) Lucina – Secret Of Mana
    4) Pit – Secret Of Monkey Island (on classic mode)

  27. @Corrine: No way! Then it will be on every list from here to eternity.

    @Dancing Matt: Too complicated; we opted in favour of a flat $5/entry donation. Nice and simple–and so inexpensive that everyone can afford at least one entry!

  28. $10 goes to

    1. CORRIN, Legend of Dragoon
    2. GRENINJA, Persona 4

  29. Hey @Corrine: You didn’t pick Corrin and now it’s too late. How do you feel about this?

  30. @Seb…as long as Corrin loses, Ill feel great. If he wins, I will need to reevaluate my life.

  31. Remember: it’s Kamui- not Corrin- I refuse to call him that.

  32. Hell with it I threw a fiver into it.

    My pick is:

    Shulk, Suikoden II

  33. @Cari: I forgot about that localization name switch – but this begs the question is @Corrine also harboring a Westernized name? Maybe her name is really Quezacotl.

    On another note, since Cari is trying to inject sanity into the proceedings with Suikoden II, more opprobrious games must be chosen. I suggest games that start with THE and end with SIMS.

  34. I don’t want to have to pick any characters or anything. I just want to donate money to make Lusipurr suffer again.

  35. I mean if I wanted to torture him i’d submit Huniepop Camstudio or STEAM version of Final Fantasy 6.

    Some GOOD games would maybe be Secret of Evermore, Grandia II (Also on steam but GOOD), Crusader of Centy (On Sega though…), Stardew Valley (No really go play it, It was made by ONE GUY and is AT LEAST as good or better than the original SNES Harvest moon.), Sailor Moon: Another Story (Sadly only fan translations exist of this game.)

    Just to name a few.

  36. @Lane: Shouldn’t you be using your money for good, rather than evil?

    If you do not want to pick characters, you can always select random, or stages, or random stages.

  37. Some omissions which seem peculiar to me:

    Where are the Castlevania titles? How about the Mega Man X games? Why is Mario conspicuously absent? What about the Metroid series?

    Why has no one submitted a Xeno- game? $30 would be sufficient to submit all six of them! No SaGa games? No Dragon Quest? No curious little RPGs like Koudelka, Azure Dreams, Kartia, or Shadow Hearts? No Drakkhen or Lagoon? (I am glad to see a game from the Ogre series on the list).

    C’mon people! Get picking!

  38. I said just to name a few.

    You also have Xenogears, Symphony of the Night, Ogre Battle, Mario RPG, Phantom Hourglass, Phantasy Star 4 (Just 4 the rest were tosh also 4 is available on Steam.).

    Some weird ones just for good measure;

    Katamari Damacy (pick one they are all nuts.), Seaman (Dreamcast though.), Oxen Free (New and has a currently ongoing ARG), Clayfighters 63 1/3 Sculpter’s Cut, Evo Search for Eden.

    I mean there are TONS of great/weird games.

    Fill that roster people I just wanted to give him a shot at Suikoden II.

  39. @Cari: My comment about omissions was not directed at you–I was referring to the actual games selected so far by donators.

    I’ve already mentioned directly or inclusively XG, SotN, OB, and Mario RPG. All are worthy worthy worthy.

    Phantom Hourglass and its stylus controls can go to hell.

    Phantasy Star can also go to hell. I have played I and II, and PS Online. Rubbish the lot of them. Three strikes and you’re out–so I refused to give them any more money after PSO. Maybe 4 is good, but I will not bother with it unless I am forced so to do.

    I’m a big fan of Katamari Damacy. And, I was playing it on stream just a couple weeks ago. Thinking on it, any of them would make for a good review. Noby Noby Boy, however, is crap.

    Seaman is not allowed (Dreamcast is not an accepted platform; and, it is not a game, per se.).

    Oxenfree seems (reading reviews and write-ups) like an SJW ‘progressive’ game built around ‘real, serious questions’ (as understood by undergrads who took a humanities course once, over the summer, five or six years ago) instead of gameplay. I could be wrong, but the sense of that is very, very strong.

    I remember playing Clayfighters when it came out ages and ages ago. And I have heard of Evo, but know nothing about it.

    In all honesty some of the games I mention above are not really practical. I do not know if I would even be able to find a reasonably priced copy of Azure Dreams, and it is not on PSN. I gave my copy away to my then-girlfriend back in the late 90s. But Kartia and Koudelka and so on should be available pretty readily. They were not cult hits or anything, and are, at best, somewhat better than mediocre titles.

  40. Agh should have said this in my last one wish I could edit…

    Oxenfree’s story does appear to be vapid ouside of the supernatural elements It’s the ARG (Alternate Reality Game)taking place on reddit and elsewhere that makes it rather interesting. There are tons of clues and hints to real life stuff going on and what it all leads to… nobody knows. So if only for that it sounds interesting.

    As for Phantasy Star 4 it’s a wonderful game and made me cry as a child… I agree that the first two entries were not good… but they didn’t have endearing characters or really good battle mechanics.

  41. I have donated $100.

    I pick all random stages. I will prepare my list of games anon.

    I shall divide them thus: FIVE shall be the number of terror, and FIVE the number of joy. FIVE too shall be the baffling, and FIVE the underrated. Twenty in all, these shall represent the potential fates to which Lusipurrean hubris hath doomed thee.

  42. @Lane: I assume you mean 20 random characters, as those come with game nominations (the donations for stages are for the purpose of influencing the outcome of the battles).

    I will be randomly selecting your 20 characters in the next few minutes, so they will be inaccessible to later donators. Please choose your games relatively quickly so that they are not selected by other potential donators, also.

    Updated. Your selections are:
    Meta Knight
    Little Mac

    Wii Fit Trainer
    Mii Gunner

    King Dedede
    Captain Falcon

    Donkey Kong
    Mii Swordfighter
    Dark Pit
    Mii Brawler
    Zero Suit Samus

  43. LOOK ON MY WORKS YE MIGHTY, etc., etc.


    1. Shaq-Fu (SNES)
    2. Lester the Unlikely (SNES)
    3. Tazmania (SNES)
    4. Super Pitfall (NES)
    5. Fist of the North Star (NES)


    6. Final Fantasy Tactics (PS)
    7. Lufia II – Rise of the Sinistrals (SNES)
    8. Contra III – Alien Wars (SNES)
    9. Castlevania IV (SNES)
    10. Mega-Man X (SNES)


    11. TMNT (NES)
    12. Rap Jam: Vol 1 (SNES)
    13. Uniracers (SNES)
    14. Battletoads & Double Dragon (SNES)
    15. Super Baseball Simulator 1000 (SNES)


    16. Brave Fencer Musashi (PS)
    17. Vandal Hearts (PS)
    18. Final Fantasy Legend II (Gameboy)
    19. Baten Kaitos (Gamecube)
    20. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance (Gamecube)

  44. IT IS DONE. The games and characters have been added. My fingers are well and truly crossed for Final Fantasy Tactics, Castlevania IV, Mega Man 2, Final Fantasy VII, Mega Man X…

    But please, anything but FF8. ANYTHING but that game again.

  45. Personally I’m hoping for Shaq-Fu or “Battletoads & Double Dragon.” It’s like, “hey, we’ve got these two middleweight beat-em-up franchises for Nintendo, why not glom ’em together and hope it ain’t shit?”

    But it was shit. Truly bizarre shit. The kind of shit you rented from the video store and went back saying, “look, I’m only eight, but even I know there’s a little thing called ‘consumer protection laws,’ and if this doesn’t violate it, my senator and I are going to have a long-ass talk.”

    Others I considered, but ultimately rejected as a little cruel: Seventh Saga, Shadowgate, Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest, and Musya.

  46. Shadowgate is FANTASTIC.

    Mystic Quest is a perfectly solid entry-level RPG. It is basic, simplistic, but fundamentally solid from a gameplay perspective. And, it has a surprisingly good soundtrack. The real problem with it is its original name: Final Fantasy USA. Apparently, western gamers are babies who need a Fisher Price RPG.

  47. western gamers are babies who need a Fisher Price RPG

    Well, we certainly lacked the Japanese patience for longer games (and still do). Or that Korean patience, apparently. Korean MMOs are the most grindy grindfests ever. Just different gaming culture, I suppose.

    Shadowgate is an AWESOME adventure game, but I remember being so fucking frustrated with it as a kid, and there was no google shit either. I had to write actual, physical letters to Nintendo Power for hints, and wait to get them back (they always answered, though).

  48. @Lane: Well, my good friends and I loved long JRPGs more than anything (and still do), so I don’t know about that! Certainly ‘mainstream’ western success in video games has never been particularly centred on the 40-hour JRPG, but I don’t think it has been in Japan, either (although they have bigger cultural capital there, to be sure).

    I loved Shadowgate so much that I did everything I could to find out about other games in the same style, so Deja Vu and the thoroughly excellent Uninvited were cherished parts of my game collection. And when I found out that there was a Deja Vu 2 that we did not get on the Nintendo, I was pretty upset.

    I do remember getting stuck in Shadowgate for about 6 months at one point. As nice as it is to have immediate access to every solution and every secret, there’s something to be said for a world where one had to actually talk to one’s friends and try to work things out for oneself.

  49. @Lane I WAS GOING TO PICK SHAQ FU!!!! Even thought of adding it to a final round of selections. Pure genius.

  50. $10 more pledged, as follows:

    Corrine: The Oregon Trail (I’m sorry)

    Sebastian: The 7th Guest

    The theme is ‘old PC games’ here, so I attempted to counter my wife’s diabolical sense of humor. Thankfully, The Oregon Trail is available at no cost via the Archive.org software library.

  51. I forgot to attach Amiibo to the games.

    Corrine: Jigglypuff – The Oregon Trail
    Sebastian: Bowser – The 7th Guest

  52. @Sebastian:

    Per the rules, the games must be available for one of the systems noted above, or for the current version of Macintosh OS X on Steam. The MS-DOS version from the archive.org site is not acceptable (and would not be playable).

    It might be useful to send your wife along to Steam to look at their Mac games, given that they have quite a few there.

  53. Ok. Further research has been done. Sebastian’s choice remains the same. Instead of jigglypuff I will choose:
    Lucario… and the game is Daikatana.

  54. Sounds like it is Announcement Time

    If and when all the characters are selected (or, all of the stages are selected), the HIDDEN TARGETS for this donation drive will be unveiled. These are the ‘stretch’ goals that we add every year. We have three of them this year, and they are–I think–the best we have ever had.

    I won’t say any more about it except to tease them thus:

    1. The final stretch goal centres on Bup.
    2. The middle stretch goal is poetically fosterswallabydingogdaymate oriented.
    3. The first stretch goal benefits losers.

    Get those characters and stages whilst they’re left–and check out the bracket if you want to see where your characters are going to play!

    Donators, please post what are the best times/days during the week for you to watch a stream on Twitch. I am starting to prepare a streaming schedule for our broadcast of these battles, and I want to prioritise donators.

  55. Rosalina: Valkyrie Profile 2: Sylmeria
    Palutena: Valkyrie Profile
    Ike: Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
    Roy: Star Ocean: The Last Hope

    9 or 10pm is good for me, so 5 or 6am for you? Anytime after lunch on Friday or Saturday for you is a Saturday or Sunday morning for me. Those times are possible, too. Thanks.

  56. Nights are probably best; after work and with the little one asleep. Weekends (just about any time) are also good.

  57. The final stretch goal centres on Bup.

    Nate Liles is amazing! His presence will light up this contest, just as his smile lights up the room! :D

  58. Is it too late to swap my choice to Phantasy Star 4 and free up Suikoden II for somebody else to pick?

  59. @Cari: Yes. Once a game is submitted, it is final. Sorry!

    You can always stump for someone else to submit a new entry for PS4, however.

  60. With only a dozen characters left, I hope people choose their game selections carefully!

  61. Yes. Choose very (Majora’s Mask), very (Majora’s Mask), carefully.

  62. I personally never understood why Lusipurr always claimed, and I quote:

    “3D Zelda is best, and the N64 controller is the gold standard in gaming, well, it was until the GameCube was released.”

    Source: NateCast #69

  63. To Lusi:

    A confession.

    In truth, I made it all up. There was no NateCast 69. I must admit that I laughed heartily at my own cleverness, and of course drew your ire in the process.

    In the end, I still think it was worth it. Because I laughed, and laughter is the best medicine. That’s why hospitals are unnecessary in a cheerful society. We can simply laugh the cancer away! Hahahaha! (See, I just cured someone.)

    P.S. Please don’t ban me!

  64. @Lane: You know, if you were only to save up your donations throughout the year and release them all in one huge BURST, you’d easily surpass Imitanis’ $160 record for largest single donation, thus ensuring for yourself the titular ownership of the Literature Corner!

  65. @Lusipurr

    SeBANNEDtian? Funny, but as I am a SeBASTARD I will cheerfully ignore the ban!

    Also, I thought the next single donation leader received an entire nook; not a mere corner.

  66. @Sebastian: We have considered expanding the corner to an entire ALCOVE, but the renovations needed are excessive.

  67. Also if Radical Dreamers taught me anything Alcoves are not to be trusted…. much planning is required.

  68. The literature ‘corner’ restricts space sufficiently, lest we experience a runaway in architecture and expenses which might lead to the entire podcast being taken over by endeavours literary rather than digital. –And, whilst some of our readers might enjoy podcasts comprised of nothing but literature, I suspect there would be moans of disapproval from more than a few of the rest!

    That said, I would be happy to upgrade the literature corner to an apse–and, future literature corner shifts will be go along with the right of choosing the ‘game of the week’ on a LusiStream Live! recording. So, that’s something!

  69. @Lusipurr:

    I’ve thought for a while that a second, literature-themed podcast could exist – even if not officially affiliated with this site. Curated literature is a wonderful resource, and the fact that it’s been freely available for years now on your podcast is awesome. Expanding it within the current format would probably alienate some, and I understand that. I appreciate the site and podcast too much as a resource for video game discussion to want it to change (too much, anyway).

    I must say that your reading of Interview with the Vampire wasn’t just great by the standards of the podcast, it was one of the finest audiobooks I’ve ever heard, period. I have what I think are high standards for narration, and that reading was – and I’m not just saying this – and unforgettable performance. It was a work of masterful subtlety, and in that regard I think more impressive even than the classic reading of A Confederacy of Dunces, which itself was great fun, of course.

    Anyhow, just thought I’d use this opportunity to say, “thanks”. The summer fundraiser makes me feel nostalgic about the things that make this site and the podcast important to me, and why I actually care if they continue…

  70. Interview with the Vampire was just a good book in general. It’s kinda hard to screw up. (The movie wasn’t BAD but the ‘sequel’ was garbage.)

  71. @Sebastian: I must say that your reading of Interview with the Vampire wasn’t just great by the standards of the podcast, it was one of the finest audiobooks I’ve ever heard, period. I have what I think are high standards for narration, and that reading was – and I’m not just saying this – and unforgettable performance. It was a work of masterful subtlety, and in that regard I think more impressive even than the classic reading of A Confederacy of Dunces, which itself was great fun, of course.

    Thank you! I was generally satisfied with how it turned out. Some weeks are better than others–I don’t pre-read the text or rehearse it, so sometimes I am caught a bit off guard when it is not immediately clear who is speaking. But Interview is up there with Confederacy in my mind–probably the two greatest readings I have done so far. Maybe we’ll read The Vampire Lestat one day. In the far, distant future. Maybe.

  72. Oh, can we read Infinite Jest, since David Foster Wallace is clearly the grea.. gu….grea…. you know, I can’t even say it sarcastically. David Foster Wallace is a boil on the ass of literature.

    What I’m saying is, read Ulysses. I kind of want to see if it can be done. Failing that, read Joyce’s love letters.

  73. DFW is crap. He is pushed by academics who seem too keen to celebrate one of their own who ‘made it big’ as a cult fabulator.

    Unfortunately, ULYSSES is also crap. Sorry, Lane. But Joyce’s early poetry is pretty good in places with some works of brilliance scattered throughout–I have my students read selections from POEMS PENYEACH.

    I had not really given overmuch thought to the next book–but here, in this moment, thinking of the towering greats of American fiction, MOBY DICK leaps to mind as the pinnacle of American literary greatness, as least insofar as I perceive it (in terms of the Kantian sublime).

  74. Can we all just agree to disagree and read some Good Omens instead?

  75. I enjoyed GOOD OMENS well enough, but in all honesty it is not good enough to be one of our selected books.

  76. I’m no Joyce fanboy. I actually wanted to see if you could read Ulysses aloud and retain the structure and wordplay.

    Melville is good, although I like the book better if you skip over the treatises on whaling and focus on the narrative.

    If we are discussing American literature specifically, why not McCarthy’s “Blood Meridian?”

  77. @Lane: the treatises about whaling are not just/really about whaling at all–they are very important!

  78. Like Good Omens, Blood Meridian is a good book–but just not good enough for a podcast reading. I have tried to pick things that are absolutely top-notch, in my estimation.

    In life, we have finite time, and therefore it is logical to ensure that we spend it in perusing good things, because there is insufficient time to peruse all things. How much more so on the podcast, where time is even more constrained so that, in the course of the entire series, when we finally close up shop, we may only have a handful of books read? Therefore, I think long and hard about each book I pick, both in terms of audience and in terms of literary and aesthetic merit. Nothing even slightly below my estimation will suffice–even otherwise great books!

    And of course there are things which I believe worth reading, but which are simply too long or unsuitable for the audience, otherwise we would have begun with Hugo’s Les Misérables.

  79. Have yet to read Moby Dick, but I am extremely excited to. Blood Meridian was top-notch, but only what I read of it. Which was half. And then it was stolen.

    Recently I have read Strangers on a Train and Sharp Objects. The first of which was solid and the second of which was fun to digest, but left my system quickly.

    Also, I choose R.O.B. and The World Ends With You

  80. @jub-jub: I think you are probably fortunate. The first half of Blood Meridian is the best part, so in a way, the thief did you a favour.

    Moby Dick is an astonishing work. I read it when I was quite young, and did not know what to make of it. In truth, I found it baffling, discursive, and a trifle boring. As an undergrad, finally revisiting it as one of a couple books in a senior literature course, I had a truly excellent instructor who had the intelligence and the teaching skill to make the complexity of the work approachable for a room full of undergrad English majors. I studied it again in grad. school as part of my Master’s degree, with the same instructor, which served only to deepen my appreciation. It now stands, in my estimation, as perhaps the greatest novel ever written by an American: a truly herculean work of pure and unadulterated genuis, with all of the terrifying heights and chasms that one would expect from such a creation.

  81. For sure, reading “classics” as a child/teenager and then again as an adult after getting a proper education is often the key difference between “I don’t get this” and “oh my god this is amazing.” Anyone who doubts Melville as the quintessential American author needs to reread him.

    I am mostly suggesting newer works to irk Lusipurr’s irrational luddite-like hatred of anything published since the 19th century, because I get my jollies where I can. I don’t even like McCarthy that much (“The Road” is overrated, vastly), but “Blood Meridian” is one of his best works.

    If I really wanted to stir the pot, I’d suggest Nabokov (“Pale Fire,” though an audio reading of the book would really fuck up the pacing and manic insanity of Kinbote’s commentary) or Pynchon, whose works I think really can do well as oral readings but who might come across as somewhat infatuated with his own cleverness.

  82. @Lane: Poppycock! I enjoy a great many works written in the 20th century! If it seems that I enjoy more works from other centuries, that is probably because there are more of those centuries, and hence more works from them!

    I don’t think I could bring myself to read Pynchon; Nabokov, possibly. But the reality is that our next book will be short, somewhat lighter, and is almost certainly already chosen and waiting. ;)

  83. “Inherent Vice” is a great novel. Hippie noir. What’s not to love, man?

  84. Ok this thread got to 108 does this mean a Suikoden game is a lock?

  85. @Cari: Nope!
    @Jububale: Yep!

    The clock is running down. We’re less than a fortnight away from the donation drive closing up, and there’s still 11 characters left, to say nothing of our bonus goals. Buy up those characters whilst you can, folks!

  86. Two words: Finnegans Wake. Or just the Circe chapter of Ulysses, that would be fun. Or maybe Lysistrata, or…
    I would like just good chapters from great books like Les Miserables or Moby Dick to be read; it doesn’t have to be the entire work. Sections in the former like the Waterloo and Petit-Picpus interludes don’t exposit the movement of the story, but give an insight into the spirit of the time with such vivid writing; they are a joy to read and hear.

  87. The Waterloo section of Les Misérables is amazing, but it is also very bad history and more literature than fact. That said, it does give us a look at the way our own popular histories will seem in several hundred years (if we go into it aware of its shortcomings from a purely historical viewpoint).

    Single chapters are an idea I had not considered, and one which seems to have merit to me. I will absolutely consider it–we might see a melange of such readings, mixed up with poetic selections, in-between our longer readings.


    11 Characters Remaining
    3 Hidden Goals (locked) Remaining

    Time is running out!

  89. $10 more donated. Please include:
    Wario – Fester’s Quest (NES)
    Sheik – Willow (NES)

  90. With only 9 characters left, our bracket has its first round FULL.

  91. I’m surprised no one chose to add Legacy of the Wizard to the gameslist. a broadurbund classic from the studio who broght you lusi’s favorite game.

  92. Looking at that + $150 goal, the mind boggles at the possibilities. BupCast? Bup-themed site takeover? Lusipurr forced to be Bup’s personal valet for one day?

  93. @Drachonus: I kind-of liked Legacy of the Wizard. Kind of.

    @Sebastian: We set our stretch goals at $50 increments last year, and *almost* reached three of them (with a slightly higher starting donation target, no less), so we’re following the same plan this year. That should allow us to give away a copy of the new Pokemon game, buy a new microphone and some a/v editing software, and have money for end-of-the-year games and shipping, plus the usual yearly costs in hosting, registration, security, and Bod’s per diem, etc. That’s the plan at least. A new microphone is number one on our priority list at the moment, so extra expenses beyond that depend upon the microphone itself, blah blah blah financial crap.

    I cannot confirm or deny Bup-based rumours at this time (9 characters to go!), but I will say that I think the Bup stretch goal is probably one of the most compelling things we’ve ever offered to our readers/listeners.

    For my part, I am terrified that we might reach the goal.

  94. @Lusipurr: I want to know!!!

    Only 9 characters left… that’s $45… then it would take another $150 after that…

    Readers! Let me know in the comments if you’re willing to help make Lusipurr more scared than he’s ever been!!!

  95. @Sebastian: Perhaps you will know soon. Or… perhaps not!

    9 characters left. And only 7 days left!

  96. I really, really want someone to pick some Amiibo so I don’t end up purchasing the remaining 9 myself. I’m very impulsive. It could happen, people. My chances of winning the contest would go up exponentially. You have all been warned!

  97. I should point out that our donation target this year is $10 lower than it was last year. And, last year, we missed the third $50 stretch goal by $20. So, this year, if we raise exactly $10 more than last year, we will hit all three stretch goals in this donation drive. So it is VERY possible. But there is also only one week left, so I’m beginning to feel just a tiny bit relaxed.

    There is no need to exert yourself, Sebastian. Simply relax, like me, and let things rest as they are. All will be well.

  98. I’ve been drinking coffee all day, and someone has been rude to me on Twitter. I find it hard to relax.

  99. @Seb: My guess is that, if you were less wrong on Twitter, people would be nicer to you.

  100. @Lusi: And my guess it that, if certain individuals would but open their minds to possibility, then it would become clear to these individuals that they are rash to dismiss such postulation (theoretical or not) out of hand.

  101. With $45 needed to reach our donation target (9 characters left!) and fully another $150 for the three stretch goals, and only six days in which to get it, I think this might be the year in which I can confidentally assure myself that I will not have to endure the worst that the site can dream up. Finally.

    Neverthessless: Six days to go!

  102. A donation of $50 finishes up the character selections and gets us started on those stretch goals. Here’s my picks:

    1. Bowser Jr., Suikoden Tierkreis
    2. Toon Link, Persona 4: Dancing All Night
    3. Diddy Kong, Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)
    4. Mr. Game & Watch, Disgaea
    5. Robin, Grandia
    6. Charizard, Infinite Space
    7. Lucario, Jade Coccoon 2
    8. Duck Hunt, Kingdom Hearts
    9. Pac-Man, Fallout 3

  103. I wonder, since staff was not informed what the goals entailed beforehand, are they all willing?

  104. Never underestimate the compelling power of an orange chair. Do you think Bup wants to play Steam greenlight games every week? And yet, does he not?

  105. @Lusi: That is a solid argument. Bup not only streams right on time most Saturdays, but he always posts his roundup on time each week… Is he compelled by some force to do this? Are you that “persuasive” with your staff? Or have you been blackmailing Bup for years, forcing him to live in a private hell of your own design?

  106. Entering the final weekend, $45 from the first stretch goal.
    Drive ends on TUESDAY night just as the clock clicks over from 23:59:59 US Eastern Time to 00:00:00 on WEDNESDAY.

  107. Scrolling all the way to the bottom of the page has become cumbersome. And I like it.

    200 comments! Can we do it?!


    Congratulations. You did it. Lube yourself up for Bup.

  109. @Seb: Re. the comments, I believe we passed 200 last year, but I believe that was the only time we ever have done.

  110. @Adeki: This is what happens when you tunnel-vision so hard on writing your own posts that you forget to read or even comment. A spell in the orange chairs might prove salutary.

  111. Donators, last call to let me know your general availability for stream planning purposes!

  112. Hats off to Lusipurr for putting on a successful summer drive so far. Of course I may take back this post depending on who wins the tournament. :\

  113. @Tim: My hope is that Cloud, Mii Gunner, or Mewtwo win.

    But please, anything but Sonic.

  114. I’m hoping for a more personally successful stream later. Earlier I enjoyed:

    A.) Watching all of my picks lose
    B.) Having Nate ban me for not agreeing with him

  115. WHOA! Some major upsets, and Mega Man is out of the tournament. :(

  116. Cloud did it! Overcoming his CPU level 9 handicap to move on…

  117. Some big upsets today. I banked on Bowser and Dedede to do way better than they did. No love for the big guys in the Qualifying round.

  118. Wow I’m honestly shocked Shulk is making it this far… if he goes all the way I’d be mighty surprised.


    Although I really can’t find it in myself to gloat. Of all of those good games on that list, only two have made it into the Semi-Final. It’s entirely possible that they could both crash out and I’ll be left with four horrible options vying for my time. :(

  120. Based on today’s stats, how many knockouts each fighter got between two matches, the favorites for the Finals Round are Peach and Falco, with a K.O. count of 10 each, and Ness and Charizard with 9 each. Dr. Mario had 7 and Ryu, Lucas, and Wii Fit Trainer all had 4.

  121. But knock-outs, as we’ve seen, are meaningless! What matters is survival, of which knock-outs are merely one component.

    That said, I’m backing both Ness and Peach to be in the final. They have been crazy powerful in all of their contests, and seem to be the clear favourites to go all the way.

  122. Some of these have definitely survived with very little in the way of knockouts. Ryu, Lucas, and Wii Fit Trainer all qualified with only 1 knockout in the Semifinals. I think it will be tough for them to avoid the top dogs in the next matches though; they’re going to have to step it up. Now, whereas Falco has been really holding his own against some heavy hitters and I’ve got a lot of faith in him going forward, I don’t think Princess Peach’s competition has been as fierce. While she is definitely a fearsome fighter, and I’m backing her to make it to the final bracket, I’m not as sure how she’ll do there. Ness has always been a top performer, and is my personal favorite to win this tournament overall, both in terms of ability and for the game he champions. I’m going to go on a limb and call Charizard out of the Finals, because this tournament has not gone well for the big guys. So that leaves Dr. Mario. He may not be the plumber, but keep in mind that Mario the man is still in this, and he’s got a bitter pill for you to swallow if he makes it.

  123. One can also consider their ranking. They have come in the following places:
    Bracket Q – Peach: 3/1/1, Ryu: 3/1/1, Falco: 2/4/2, Wii Fit Trainer: 4/4/2
    Bracket R – Ness: 2/1/1, Lucas: 4/1/1, Dr. Mario: 3/2/2, Charizard: 3/3/2
    So clearly you have a couple from each bracket who have been outright winning both the knockouts and quarterfinals.
    In the first match, Falco is very much a fighter who gets in the midst of the action, while the others tend to hold back until they can land a great hit. But they can’t all do that this time, so it will definitely be interesting to see how that plays out. Peach is a clear favorite, and although Ryu has bested Falco twice in a row, his strategy might not work as well as it had before. Then in the second match, all of the contestants are hard fighters who really get into the thick of it, and it will truly come out as a test of strength.
    So I think Ness and Peach’s perfomance so far grants them a pretty clear lead going forward. Ryu may have placed better than Falco overall, but with such competition he may not be able to stay on one side and Hadouken his way into the Finals. Lucas started off in one of the toughest qualifying brackets and has been holding the top seat since then, but his knockouts leave more to be desired. Whereas Ness is really flexing his muscle and sticking around with Dr. Mario right behind him. Finally, although Charizard and Wii Fit Trainer have been projected by this spectator as not moving forward to the Finals, this has been a tournament of upsets, and they cannot be crossed off just yet.
    :cue rousing Super Smash Bro’s Theme:

  124. Wow, DM, that is an impressive in-depth examination.

    Based on your conclusions, can you give us some odds for each chracter’s victory (in standard betting odd ratio format, i.e. 10:1 7:5 etc.)?

  125. No, I have no idea how to do that. I’m just winging it.

  126. http://mybettingsites.co.uk/betting-odds-explained/

    Well, 1:1 is even money, so that the payout is equal to the bet on a win (50%).

    4:1 is twenty percent, 9:1 is ten percent. 1:4 is eighty percent. Of course odds don’t evenly match to actual chance (the house finesses them to maximise profits and encourage gambling). I guess I could set odds by converting percentages to ratios if you could give me win percentages for each. It’s across two matches, but the stastical calculations based purely on the positions above should be relatively easy.

    I say this because I can imagine how to do it now, and the most math I’ve ever had was High School Algebra (which I all but failed).

  127. Weighting their placement and K.O. count together, I’m ranking them as such: Ness and Peach are in equal place with clear leads over Falco, Charizard, Dr. Mario, Ryu, and Lucas, who are each one slightly better than the next, and Wii Fit Trainer trails farthest behind, but that’s disregarding who is in seperate brackets now. I’m not taking bets anyways; talk to Bod.

  128. @Lane: Your shitty awful games are in danger of ruining my summer, so thanks for that.

  129. @Lane: I think you have a signed copy of The Once And Future King in your future, plus making Lusipurr play one great game and one terrible game.

  130. @DancingMatt: After tomorrow’s semi-finals, I’ll calculate fractional betting odds for the final round as an exercise in practical mathematics.

    We started just yesterday with 58 games. We’re down to 8. Tomorrow it will be four. And then, it will be one.

    Here’s a short list containing the semi-final entrants for ease of reading:

    Charizard: Infinite Space (Imitanis)
    Dr. Mario: Lester the Unlikely (Lane)
    Falco: Fist of the North Star (Lane)
    Lucas: Rap Jam Vol. 1 (Lane)
    Ness: Mega Man X (Lane)
    Peach: Hey You, Pikachu! (Corrine)
    Ryu: Earthbound (Imitanis)
    Wii Fit Trainer: Contra III: Alien Wars (Lane)

  131. @DM: It is now statistically impossible for Lane not to win something, because he has 5 of eight entrants, and only 4 will be ranked out with nothing. In the worst case scenario, he is guaranteed at least 4th place: if Falco and Wii Fit Trainer both lose tomorrow’s first match, Lane still has three entrants in the second semi-final, meaning at least one of his entrants will go through to the final round from that match.

    Ergo, Lane could have as few as 1, and as many as 4, entrants in Saturday’s final. If he wins all four places, I imagine that he’ll have to enter the witness protection programme.

    (Note that Lane also has characters in the loser bracket, so it is possible for him to clean sweep and win every single option.)

  132. That almost sounds like either he is the luckiest sod in the world… or he had some statistical knowledge advantage over the rest of us…

  133. @Lusipurr Should Peach reign victorious, I do have a replacement game in mind if indeed Hey you, Pikachu is ruled out.

  134. I think my statistical advantage was I had 20 entries. Once again the political system is ruled by the 1%.

    And only 3 of those games are bad. Mega Man X and Contra III are veritable classics. Difficult by today’s standards, but classics nonetheless.

  135. @Lane: Mega Man X and Earthbound are fantastic.

    The rest? Complete shit. Including your Contra game.

  136. Then you can at least say it is mercifully quite brief, should it win.

    If you do MMX, I want all the hidden upgrades found. All.

  137. @Lane: You don’t get to make such demands, but it is very easy in any case. I did it in a single sitting last autumn on stream. MMX is one of my favourite games, and I know it by heart.

  138. All hail King Lane! May he rule over his nobles unfairly and brutally!

  139. Final Round Entrants
    Dr. Mario: Lester the Unlikely (Lane)
    Falco: Fist of the North Star (Lane)
    Ness: Mega Man X (Lane)
    Wii Fit Trainer: Contra III: Alien Wars (Lane)

  140. Betting Odds
    Method: odds are calculated on place finished in prior rounds, with 8-player rounds awarding 1pt for 4th place up to 4pts for 1st place. In 4-player rounds, 1pt is awarded for 2nd place, and 2pts are awarded for 1st place. The total points across the four finalists are summed (27), and the odds of victory are the percentage of the total possessed by the entrant (rounded into 100)

    FALCO (value: 7 pts)
    Actual Odds: 26% (37/13)
    Normalised Odds: 25% (3/1)

    WII FIT TRAINER (value: 4 pts)
    Actual Odds: 15% (17/3)
    Normalised Odds: 15% (17/3)

    NESS (value: 11 pts)
    Actual Odds: 41% (59/41)
    Normalised Odds: 40% (3/2)

    DR MARIO (value: 5 pts)
    Actual Odds: 18% (41/9)
    Normalised Odds: 20% (4/1)

    Now you know the odds (go Ness).

  141. I want a review of Mega Man X and an hour-long stream of Lester The Unlikely, because the 1st Place Prize does not bind you to any streaming (right?), and watching a bad game is more fun. Ness and Dr. Mario have been holding strong to 1st and 2nd place, respectively, for a few rounds now.

  142. @DM: That’s correct. And, there may already be a stream in the Archive of me playing ALL of Mega Man X. In fact, quite recently, I played the first stage of the game just as part of a melange night.

  143. LANE WINS (everything).

    Standings above. Best post of the night is Corrine, who observed that LANE + NESS = LAMENESS.

    All hail CITIZEN LANE!

  144. Credit where credit is due, my lovely wife with the unpronounceable name, Corrine.

  145. I couldn’t have done it without money.

    Also I was in a car wreck, which I am now blaming on cosmic retribution.

  146. God has never been kind to those who bring me suffering!

    Also, ‘I couldn’t have done it without money’ is straight out of an FF Tactics job report.

  147. My first thought is that, in the future, the winner of the tournament should not be eligible to win the loser’s bracket. Why even have a loser bracket when there is no consolation? I think the championship round would have to be run first, unless (as was the case last night) it was known going in who would win the tournament (as one person owned all four finalists).

  148. …and then I think about it some more, and I agree with myself even more.

  149. @Sebastian: The loser bracket in the tournament is a test of losing characters in the tournament–not the donators who enter them. Cutting characters out on the basis of who entered them would render the tournament itself a manifestly unjust metric of character evaluation, which is the whole point of the tournament per se.

    Moreover, excluding a donator from participating in the loser bracket is no different than excluding them from participating anywhere else in the tournament. The loser bracket emphatically is not a ‘consolation prize’, nor have we ever used words to this effect. It is simply another prize opened up to the character who came in LAST place–not as consolation, but as equal in merit to the other 2nd/3rd place winners. It is just another place where someone can ‘win’.

    The simple reality is that the more entries one purchases, the better one’s chances to Lane-sweep the event. With 20 entries, he had just over 1/3 of the total. A little bit of luck did the rest.


    Scheduled: Sunday, 12 June, at 12:00 (US EDT):
    – Adeki will stream himself playing Battletoads and Double Dragon (NES).
    – Adeki will sing a song about Lane, written by Lusipurr.
    – During his song, Adeki will perform a dance designed and choreographed by Adeki himself.
    – During his song, Adeki will wear a sombrero.
    – Maracas, although improbable, are not statistically impossible.

    After the stream:
    – Adeki will complete Battletoads and Double Dragon (NES).
    – Adeki will review the game for the site.

  151. @Lusipurr: Your words displease me. But I defer to your superior, and supreme, judgment.

  152. @Sebastian: It wouldn’t be Lusipurr.com if it were not occasionally (frequently) disappointing.

    Think of this as just a demonstration of Lane’s PRIVILEGE.

  153. Feature Lock Expiring

    Just a heads-up that the feature lock on this post will expire at midnight tonight. To access it more readily from the site, you’ll need to click the “Feature” link in the sidebar.

    We will be blasting you with updates via Twitter and the Podcast with regard to Bup Week and my upcoming streaming and reviews. For the latter, I’ll be starting those next Friday (10 June). Bup week will be after E3 for obvious reasons.

  154. One month and two hundred comments ago, the greatest feature in site history began. We’ll miss seeing it on the front page!

  155. @Lusipurr: What “obvious reasons” could there be for postponing Bup week until after E3? Are you expecting anything of value from a trade show?

  156. And furthermore, are you implying that Bup is incapable of reporting serious news, should such news arise?

  157. @Seb:

    “the greatest feature in site history”

    What “obvious reasons” could there be for postponing Bup week until after E3?
    If you met him, you’d know.

    are you implying that Bup is incapable of reporting serious news

  158. @Lusi:



  159. @Corrine: We generally only run a fundraiser once a year, because fundraisers are usually:
    1. Annoying for listeners (although we try to make it ‘fun’ instead of the usual near-harassment encountered elsewhere); and,
    2. A pain in the butt to run! Pictures have to be updates, posts written, rules created, questions answered, etc.

    There are solutions for people who want the thrill of forcing me to play games of their choosing without any of that pesky ‘contest’ stuff getting in the way:

    1. Hit a donation milestone: this happens when someone surpasses the record for largest single contribution, or largest cumulative contribution total. In addition to a part of the podcast being named after the donator, both of these milestones have the added reward of allowing the donator to select a game to which I will devote a livestream (similar to our 2nd/3rd place entries in this contest).

    2. Become a staff member. Staff members have no power, and usually cannot enter contests. But, they have a degree (a very small degree) of control and input into our upcoming features and (here’s the kicker) playthroughs. This has resulted in some whimsical choices for site playthroughs, including Dirge of Cerberus.

    Of course, if you’re just upset about losing the tournament, irrespective of the rewards, there’s not a lot I can say except that “time flies when you’re having fun.” So, go out, have some fun, and it’ll be next Summer before you know it. ;)

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