Editorial: Super Something 64

Eight times eight, thirty-two times two, and 128 divided by two, these math problems are extremely difficult and will most likely never be solved in the current generation’s lifetime. However, the number sixty-four is pretty damn nifty because they named a video game console after it. The backstory as to why the Nintendo 64 was named after this specific number will forever remain unknown, but most gamers decided to let it pass because of how fun the games were. So, this editorial will cover three tubular games that all contain 64 in the name for nostalgia’s sake.

No but really, what the hell is that thing?

Thar she blows!

First up is the classic title, Bomberman 64 released all the way back in 1997, frighteningly close to prehistoric times when the dinosaurs once reigned supreme. The first three-dimensional title in the franchise, Bomberman 64 took elements from previous entries and added a brand-new type of single-player campaign that was more action-adventure oriented rather than strictly arenas. The game also included a story, something that was not standard in previous “Bomberman” title and possibly for good reason. While it may not have been needed in the long run, it is still nice to see franchises experimenting with new concepts and it is not as if the story really ended up being a huge plus or minus towards playability. Of course, the main reason that Bomberman has its following is because of its often chaotic gameplay which pairs well with playing with friends. Not many games often warrant lots of yelling and screaming just from playing but this is definitely one of them. Unfortunately, the game is only available on its original console, but tracking down a copy should not be too hard or expensive as it goes for around $30 online.

Or a racist joke about the Jackson 5 that would totally work but God himself will not allow it no matter how Black Adeki is on the inside.

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first and last time as a collective group, the Kong family!

Next, is a fan-favorite Nintendo 64 platformer known as Donkey Kong 64 which is often remembered for its diverse and yet also repetitive gameplay. Starring five playable members of the Kong family, this three-dimensional platformer boasts eight worlds to explore and a multiplayer mode. However, despite five separate characters and different play styles corresponding to their personality, the game still feels a lot more underwhelming than it should compared to other collect-a-thon games on the system such as Super Mario 64 and Banjo-Kazooie. One consistent hardship that gathers empathy from other players is the the requirement to get a high score in the games Donkey Kong and Jetpac, a task that does not necessarily sound difficult but is exacerbated by the Nintendo 64’s…unique controller. Despite these challenges, the game itself is not amazingly difficult to complete and should be open to gamers of all age levels. It is recommended that readers look into playing the game, especially now that it is finally available on the Nintendo Wii U Virtual Console!

Please do not have sex with Kirby, he is fragile.

Damn, Kirby is one kinky guy, just sucking all those bad guys like that.

Last in the rotation is Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards which was kind of Kirby’s first adventure into the third-dimension. While the characters and models were 3D, the game itself still played in a two-dimensional playing field most of the time, earning it the title of being a 2.5D platformer like Sonic Colors and entries in the “Trine” franchise. Like most Kirby games, this entry does not shake up the formula too much to the point where it is unrecognizable, but it does add the feature of being able to combine copied abilities from enemies to make new ones. There are also a couple mini-games included in the game that are accessible for one to four players, where the playable characters include: Kirby, Waddle Dee, Adeleine, and King Dedede. As for the story, it is nothing to write home about, same with the gameplay and visuals besides being cute like usual. This is not to say that Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards is a bad game, it is just not one that particularly stands out for anything. Though, if readers want to check it out for themselves it is available on the Wii U Virtual Console and one of six games in the fantastic Wii video game bundle known as Kirby’s Dream Collection.

There it is, three radical video games with a 64 in their name that you should probably play if you have not already. What did you think of this editorial? Do you have any suggestions for editorials in the future? Did you figure out what those problems in the beginning equaled to? Make sure to leave a comment below and let us know what you think!

4 comments on “Editorial: Super Something 64”

  1. There is an interesting history behind the “64” moniker. In Japan, the console was actually named Nintendō Sugoi (meaning “awesome” in Japanese). In their culture, “awesome” is considered a step above “super” (as in Sūpā Famikon); hence the new system is a step above the last. It became westernized as “Nintendo 64” because “awesome” did not have the same cultural understanding as it did in Japan, was considered too American-specific, and “64” represented the bit power while sounding a bit like “sugoi.” So games like Hoshi no Kābī Sugoi, Bonbāman Sugoi, and Sutā Fokkusu Sugoi were translated as Kirby 64, Bomberman 64, and Star Fox 64, respectively. Awesome Star Fox sounds as bad now as it would have then, so I think they made the right decision.

  2. @DancingMatt: Except, of course, that StarFox 64 really WAS Awesome StarFox!

  3. I only read the first paragraph and refuse to read more, but by jolly do I ever love this article.

    “Hey Einstein, I’m on your side!”

  4. @Dancing Matt Unfortunately, I don’t think Kirby was deserving of the Awesome name, despite how much I love that little guy.

    @jububale If I ever hear Falco complain again in my life, it’ll be too soon.

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