Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 78

Wow, 78 years of Steam Greenlight! Amazing! As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question.

I suppose it exists. I guess.

Well, this sure is… something.

MAT – Montece Aim Training

So, this is some sort of program to teach the player how to properly aim a specific weapon in the game CS:GO. That is it. Also, the developer thinks people will want to pay money for this. Granted, he is only charging 75 cents for it, but that is still a bit too much. Especially since three of the four screenshots the developer uploaded to Steam Greenlight are just menu screens. And the final one is just a blank screen with a generic, sniper rifle aiming sights. If you want even more proof that this, and all of Steam Greenlight, is absolute garbage, just look at the game’s description: “Peculiar properties:” Not really a good sign when the developer calls his game “peculiar.” “- Same map” The same map as… what? My iPhone’s map app? An atlas sitting on a desk? We need context here. “- All statistics and details of shot!” Cool. I am sure someone will care. “- Global scoreboard!” More like “Inner Circle of the Developer’s Friends” scoreboard, because that is all who will play this. “- I promise) Every weekend updates” (sic). Like, from Saturday Night Live? I only liked the Weekend Update segments when Tina Fey was doing them. “- Cost ONLY 75 cents” I think the developer should be paying us just for even giving this piece of crap the time of day.

Best Comment: oXygeN: “Nice joke. Downvoted.”

Where's the option to quit the game?

I love when I can’t read text!

VilleTown

Who wants another crappy tower defense game? Nobody? Well, too bad, because this is one! DEAL WITH IT! *puts on some rad sunglasses* *does a kickflip on his skateboard and rides away* *makes the peace symbol with his fingers, holds them up to his lips, and flicks his tongue up and down between them*

Best Comment: Toastie: “more like Vile game.”

A whole new original concept!

Never seen this before!

WinBall (HD)

This is just Arkanoid/Breakout/whatever else you want to call it. There is nothing new in this game. It does nothing special or unique that other iterations have done. This game is worthless and, again, proves that all of Steam Greenlight is just ideas stolen from other more talented game developers. My favorite “feature” in this game is this: “the option to continue the game after the loss of all lives (but with the loss of all points).” Oh, you mean a “Game Over” function, much like exists in EVERY GAME EVER MADE. END STEAM GREENLIGHT NOW!

Best Comment: azirphaeli: “So you expect me to play for ‘breakout with little to know changes or new features.’ Are you kidding?”

3 comments on “Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 78”

  1. I’d gladly pay $60 for a Greenlight title that could help me accurately perform 360 no-scopes, I’m tired of these damn 6th graders bullying me online.

  2. So, this is some sort of program to teach the player how to properly aim a specific weapon in the game CS:GO.
    If Steam Greenlight could drop the mic, this would be the time and place.

    Who wants another crappy tower defense game?
    This one looks genuinely horrible. Wow.

    “the option to continue the game after the loss of all lives (but with the loss of all points).”
    Ahhh, the innovation! What shall we call it? Game continuance? Continugame? Oh, I’ve got it. How about a “continue”?

    @Adeki: “I’d gladly pay $60 for a Greenlight title that could help me accurately perform 360 no-scopes, I’m tired of these damn 6th graders bullying me online.”
    As if that would make them stop.

Comments are closed.