Editorial: Ronald Reagan Approved Games

As many Americans know, Ronald Reagan has been dead for over 10 years, which means that he has missed over ten years of video games from the recent years. This is completely unacceptable, and honestly makes him appear to be a bad President due to him not playing enough video games in office and dying so early (which was just irresponsible on his part). So, in order to commemorate what is soon to be the anniversary of America’s independence, this editorial will focus on video games Ronald Reagan would have loved had he still been here today.

It was Ronald Reagan! What more could one expect in a Ronald Reagan themed editorial?

Now do not Google the answer, rely on personal knowledge and then click to find out the answer.

First up, is Reagan Gorbachev which released for PC earlier this very year, where two players can control either Ronald Reagan himself or Mikhail Gorbachev as the two attempt to escape from extremists in a Hotline Miami-esque adventure. It is no doubt that Reagan would have loved playing it because he could see himself in a more powerful light, being a weapons firing badass shooting his way to freedom like a true American should. The game also includes plenty of humorous interactions between the two as well as some political jokes and trivia in order to educate the player on how cool Ronald Reagan really was. What Reagan would also appreciate is that he could control himself for once instead of a director or government official, fun!

This was not a joke! President Ronnie will eat burgers with the Blade and Striker, because America would want it to be like that.

Weird, almost Arnold Schwarzenegger looking guy asks the real questions around these parts.

Next, is the title, Bad Dudes vs DragonNinja which was released on a variety of home computers and consoles including the NES back in 1989. As the title may suggest, the game stars the titular Bad Dudes named Blade and Striker who have to rescue President Ronnie (it is Ronald Reagan) who was kidnapped by DragonNinja. This is done by exploring areas such as the streets of New York City, a forest, and even a cave. That is right, a cave! Surely that must be exciting for all the cave enthusiasts who also like Ronald Reagan and would do anything to protect him. So, the Bad Dudes travel the United States in order to save their beloved President and when they do, American players get an exclusive ending where the Bad Dudes and President Ronnie eat burgers together which is much different from the Japanese ending where all the Bad Dudes get is a lousy statue. Obviously Ronald Reagan would have been ecstatic to play this game, and he was actually alive when it came out, although he probably busy moving out of the White House as 1989 was his last year in office.

Or just give someone diabetes or something lame like that.

Jellybeans have the potential to free the world.

Last in the rotation is none other than A Boy and His Blob, that is to say the Wii remake of the original NES game. The reason being is that if there is one thing the American people knew about Ronald Reagan, it is that he loved jellybeans. No, Reagan did not just fancy jellybeans like a child, but the man was damn near obsessed with jellybeans, it was even rumored that in his later years he would often attempt to pay his local grocer with jellybeans to no avail. So, it makes sense that he would love A Boy and His Blob because the main mechanic of the game is to feed the Blob jellybeans in order for it to transform into different usable objects in order to navigate the world. The game also comes with a beautiful art style and fantastic animation which would have surely entertaining Reagan at any point in his life. This jellybean-based gameplay mixed with a cute story and and pretty pictures would have no doubt been one of Ronald Reagan’s favorite video games if he was still alive to see it.

So, there it was, an entire editorial solely based around what video games Ronald Reagan most likely would have loved in order to celebrate the upcoming 4th of July. Do you think that there is a more deserving game that should have been on this list? Or do you think this editorial should have covered a different POTUS instead? Whether it be comments, critique, or suggestions, make sure to leave a comment below and let us know what you think!

4 comments on “Editorial: Ronald Reagan Approved Games”

  1. Did you know that “Jellybean” was actually the name Ronald Reagan gave his childhood sled?
    Don’t forget about Iran vs. Contra for your Nintendo Entertainment System. Your parents help you hook it up!
    Next time, do Bimmy Clinton or Jimmy Carter. Gerald Ford only liked foosball, otherwise I’d say him too.

  2. @Dancing Matt I didn’t even know Reagan had a sled! As for other Presidents I don’t know if I’ll be doing any soon since I’ll most likely be fired if I do another. Haha!

  3. @Ferchu I saw that music video for the first time last year and I still have not recovered fully. It’s weird, bruh.

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